Sunkist - 3 Reviews

Men. We're tough. We don't cry. We wipe our noses with sandpaper. We eat rocks and we eat animals. One thing we don't do is diet. We're fine with our weight and don't have any issues with our shape. Shows like "The Biggest Loser" include "guys" but they are really just holograms. No guy is at the gym, either. Every guy you see at the gym is a woman in a man's suit.

Often we do want to go up and down the stairs without having to stop half way and catch our breath. A diet of chicken wings, hamburgers, and triple thick chocolate milkshakes do not lead to a particularly healthy lifestyle. As I said, guys don't diet, but they do cut back a little. That's where the "Ten" line comes in. Flat gray can and a marketing message do a lot. It's only one step away from black, gray is. If you spend your days chugging fruity pop and need to "cut back," you've got another choice. This would be all well and good if this didn't taste so "diet." Yeah, part of disguising a diet drink as "manly" is to keep it from tasting like a diet drink and reminding these brutes that they are, in fact, on a diet. It's got a good, classic Sunkist orange taste but is promptly washed over by a sea of artificial sweeteners. If you can take your "cutting back" with a grain of salt and have grown to expect a different taste with your diet drinks, you'll be fine, but it just makes this drink feel like a Diet Sunkist rather than some new, rebranded line of beverage.

Men, you're awesome. You're arrogant, tough, aggressive, opinionated, and use hand tools. This drink has been specially tailored for you but it feels like more of an insult than a compliment. It just tastes like a diet drink and doesn't taste tailored.

Some day, and I'm not proud of this, I look back at the last couple days and think to myself, "Holy crap, you idiot. You haven't had fruit in like three days." I'm downright ashamed of myself at times like this. The reflective times. I don't mean to, it's just that I hate bananas and don't like oranges and that's what my girlfriend keeps in the house. Now I know you're saying, "Mike, you can get fruit anywhere. Just buy it." and to that, I will respond with, "I know. Sometimes I just don't." which leads me to realizations like this where I don't eat as much fruit as even myself would like.

Remember when I was on that cruise and all I ate was fruit? What a happy life that was. Now, in my regular life, I eat hamburgers and tacos and ice cream. What a garbage diet. Now I came across this little guy and may be able to turn that all around. Cherries: like 'em. Raspberries: like 'em. Strawberries: Like 'em. Another secret gem to those who buy this is that there are blackberries. Another secret, which should be obvious, is that this is pretty good. You can taste all the fruits, which is great. There isn't any "grit" in there but it's still thicker than a juice, which is to be expected with anything that dares call itself a "smoothie." If you call yourself anything you'd better live up to it. Otherwise you're no better than ol' fruitless Mike.

If you've ever found yourself at a backyard party, staring into a cooler full of pop and you chose the orange flavored one; you know what this soda tastes like. It's completely standard orange pop. Nothing fancy. Nothing gross. If you've never found yourself in that situation then you my friend must be attending some fancy parties. Did you drink a caviar soda? If so, that's gross and I want no part of those parties.