True Blue - 2 Reviews

This is going to be half review, half reminiscence, and half celebrators since this is our 3000th review. Since all of them have to happen at the same time, let's just start with the Thirsty Dudes ode to new drinks. Jay and I went to Toronto and stopped periodically at multiple shops. Our love for Thirsty Dudes is international. We travel beyond both state and country lines just in order to get drinks. This is a juice. I had to present my passport to get juice. Come on. Would you do that? You might? We do. When we are on vacation, we do it big. I went to Brooklyn this past weekend on an impromptu "vacation" and number one thing on my list was to get local root beer. Come on. What a waste of time but we love it. We're in Canada and there is a Whole Foods. We bought a ton of stuff, like forty drinks each, and yes, like this one, some of them were "house brand" but things need to get done. Drinks need to get drank. Sure, it took me well over two months to drink it but hey, we've got a cache of drinks. This, finally, was pretty good. It's about time that I get a nice, high quality juice. It's got a good blueberry taste but is dense. It's flavorful and bold. It's not cut with anything. I could have stretched this out probably 25% just by watering it down and it still would have been good.

In hindsight, this is not my favorite juice. It never was, but I'm summing it all up. Wrapping it up in a little package. It's good, I mean look, I gave it a four out of five. That's good, but this is the 3000th review. This should have been reserved for something epic like a cherry flavored slime with sparkles in it. I would have loved to reserve that for ol' Bernie Mac but we can't wait too long or we're not going to have reviews.

You know us. We don't only review good stuff. We review good stuff poorly and bad stuff well. We make up stories, tall tales, fish tales, and reflect on our past. We bring our family, friends, past relationships, and dreams into our reviews. You get to see inside our deranged minds with a lot of reviews and it gives you an insight into our lives and the people we are. We're three dudes that are friends that are creative idiots that like to drink stuff because it gives us something to talk about.

We talked about what we were going to do and the only thing we could think about was having a pizza party at a place that has been closed for probably twenty years that we each went to when we were eight and playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game and then talking about the advantages of each specific turtle. We're immature kids. We're dumb idiots. We love what we do. Thanks for letting us get to 3000. Tell your friends.

Since I don't watch Canadian television much I'm not sure if this has happened or not, but it really should. Picture this: a fade in with some synth bass and a drum machine playing in the background. The scene is young women's bedroom and she's laying in her bed wearing a ripped up shirt and way too much jewelry. As it pans in we realize that it's Madonna (well a 1986 Madonna look alike) and she's getting frustrated playing around with a keyboard and sheets of music and lyrics litter the room. She just can't seem to write her next big hit. She decides she needs to take a break so she goes over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of juice. She takes a sip and inspiration hits her. Just like that. She runs over to her bed aka workstation with a big goofy grin and starts working feverishly. By the end she's playing along and singing with the song that has been playing in the background and just as it gets to the end of the chorus and she sings the line “True Blue baby I love you,” the camera zooms in on the now mostly finished bottle of juice on her nightstand. It doesn't get better than that ladies and gentlemen. You get one hell of a song, one hell of a drink and a nice 80's throwback that all the kids are raving about these days.

I know what you're thinking and yes I am available to write ads for you as well, just get a hold of my agent. Oh, that's not what you were thinking at all? You actually want to know what the juice tastes like? Well, it certainly tastes blue, with a little purple in the mix. You see True Blue went a bit out of their color spectrum and used grape juice as filler in this drink. You can really taste both the blue and blackberries in this, but the taste of grape is always lingering in the background. I have no problem with that uninvited little fruit. It's actually kind of nice. It's also not as sweet as you would expect it to be. There is still 29g of sugar in this, but it doesn't taste that sweet. It's always a nice treat to not have an overly sweetened juice. Oh and if you spill any of this on a carpet or a couch, forget about ever getting it out. This blue is true and is staining forever.