True Colors - 3 Reviews

Hey Frankie, I thought I told you to pick me up an energy drink? This thing don't taste like no energy drink I ever had. It taste like a more juicy soda pop. You know with like fruit and junk in it. What do you mean does it have taurine in it? What am I some kind of ingredientologist? Fine I'll read the stupid can. Yeah it's got that "t" stuff in it. Sounds like something to do with a bull. Is that what gives Red Bull it's kick? Wait this isn't bull testicles is it? If it is and this is some kind of joke I'm going to box your ears. Okay, okay I believe you. This stuff still doesn't taste like an energy drink though. It tastes like a fancy orange juice with bubbles in it. Tangerines you say? Well ooolala Mr. Fancy Pants Frenchman. Now shut your mouth and help me rip up this carpet.

You with the aluminum can
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to stand out
in a world full energy drinks
you can lose sight of it all
and the taste inside you
can make you seem so bland

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

Show me a can then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you tasting 'original'
if this world makes you thirsty
and you've drank all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

The other day Punchy was hanging out with that weird "angel" dude that stars in the Red Bull commercials. Punchy just wanted to slug the ol' punching bag for a bit, but the angel guy just kept trying to get him to drink some Red Bull. He kept going on and on about it giving you wings. Being that Punchy is still a child somehow he gives in easily to peer pressure. It didn't take long before he downed a can, then two, then three. He was flying. He had grown accustomed to sugar highs, but this was something completely new to him. He got so worked up that he kept goading the angel to punch him in the stomach. One punch later and Punchy was laying on the ground in a puddle of his own red vomit. Just then a vampire was passing by and thought that it was blood that Punchy was passed out in. Never one to pass up a free meal he pulled out a straw and started to drink it down. It was obviously not blood, but it had a decent taste. The vampire called his friend, who runs True Colors, and they worked out a deal. Long story short they kidnapped Punchy, they keep him tied up in a basement and cyclically force-feed him Red Bull and punch him in a stomach to make him vomit. They then can what comes up, which tastes like a mixture of Hawaiian Punch and Red Bull. I swear it doesn't actually taste like vomit.