Two If By Tea - 2 Reviews

I think that if given the opportunity to run the United States, Rush Limbaugh would take the offer. Right there on the table. President Obama meets Rush at an undisclosed location (TGI Friday's) and he slides a piece of paper across the table. On the paper says the following words; "Do you want to take over?" and below it asked you to circle "Yes" or "No." He would answer, "Yes" and then they would eat a Jack Daniels burger, fried mac and cheese, and chicken tortilla soup.

If Rush had to win over America, which he would have to do to about half of the country, he could simply hand out this tea. It would be an olive branch that tastes like raspberry tea. No, not like diet raspberry tea, just regular raspberry tea. He could say something like, "I understand that some of you don't like me. My intentions are pure and to let you know how serious I am, I am giving you each a bottle of this tea. I am a man of research and that is why I have given unto you a bottle of diet iced tea that doesn't taste diet and still tastes great. I am a giving, generous, and genuinely care about this country. Please accept my prompt leadership and I will do my best to point us, much like the captain of a ship, towards greatness."

Rush, if you are reading this, which I assume you are, you can use this line when Obama meets you at a secret restaurant that may or may not sell deep friend green beans.

I don't know anything about Rush Limbaugh except he's wildly Republican. My grandpa used to love him. Every time I went to my grandparent's house he would be sitting on the same chair with headphones on listening to "Rush." "Don't bother him, he's listening to his "Rush." grandma would say. He would be fine once those headphones were off but when they were on, don't bother him.

Now my grandpa can't drink this with me today unfortunately but I think that he would like to drink a bottle of unsweetened tea with a young Rush Limbaugh's fat face on it. Not to mention the tea is in a wonderfully decorated bottle with foil and full color print. I don't normally point those things out, but it has to be mentioned. The tea? A standard black tea. That's good though because so many people screw it up. He/They did it right. Good job, guys.

If you've got a grandpa, buy this tea and drink it with him while you still have time. Tell him something like, "Grandpa, I know I wear shirts with swear words on it, have a bad haircut, pierced ears, and a tattoo that says something in a language that you fought against in WWII, but let's share a beverage you and I.”