Two If By Tea Raspberry

I think that if given the opportunity to run the United States, Rush Limbaugh would take the offer. Right there on the table. President Obama meets Rush at an undisclosed location (TGI Friday's) and he slides a piece of paper across the table. On the paper says the following words; "Do you want to take over?" and below it asked you to circle "Yes" or "No." He would answer, "Yes" and then they would eat a Jack Daniels burger, fried mac and cheese, and chicken tortilla soup.

If Rush had to win over America, which he would have to do to about half of the country, he could simply hand out this tea. It would be an olive branch that tastes like raspberry tea. No, not like diet raspberry tea, just regular raspberry tea. He could say something like, "I understand that some of you don't like me. My intentions are pure and to let you know how serious I am, I am giving you each a bottle of this tea. I am a man of research and that is why I have given unto you a bottle of diet iced tea that doesn't taste diet and still tastes great. I am a giving, generous, and genuinely care about this country. Please accept my prompt leadership and I will do my best to point us, much like the captain of a ship, towards greatness."

Rush, if you are reading this, which I assume you are, you can use this line when Obama meets you at a secret restaurant that may or may not sell deep friend green beans.