Wang - 2 Reviews

To whom it may concern,
I don't know if you have thought ahead for things like birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or Sweetest Day, but you needn't look any more. I, Nature, have created the greatest gift for everyone. I mean everyone. I don't and never have discriminated. Everyone is equal and this drink I have created with my bare hands is for you.

Allow me to describe this gift that I have so generously and nonchalantly given to the people of the world. It is an aloe drink. Simple as that: original aloe flavor. No funny fruit business. I stick to the classics myself. Vinyl? I love it. Laserdisc? Nope. VHS, son! I only listen to debut records from bands and will not buy anything after that regardless of how much better it is. Yeah, I know the production quality is usually better on subsequent albums, but I stick to my guns. No, I'm joking. Nature doesn't use guns but I do rain on tons of parades if you know what I mean.

I just thought that I would remind you that this gem of a drink existed because I noticed in the last quarter sales were down a little bit. Remember, this is a gift so drink it with glee and have a wonderful day.

Sincerely,
Nature Steinberg

You know Max, right? He's been a real jerk lately. Let's pull a prank on him. Yeah, he has been a jerk, Charlie. He put all those thumbtacks on your chair last week. Who does that? Hasn't he heard of tetanus? I don't want that. We've got to get back at him, but with what? Oh, I've got it. Go grab that tea over there, I've got a great idea. There isn't enough to fill this bottle. This prank is going to rule. Now, take those Fritos, crush them up and put them in this washcloth. I'll show you. I've got this water. I'm going to pour water on the corn chips to kind of give the tea an "essence" of corn chip but with none of the grit so he can't tell. Oh man, it smells like corn chips but you'd never know what we did just by looking at it. Quick, put one pinch of sugar in there so it keeps him coming back.

This will teach him. He'll never play another practical joke on us again.