Way 2 Cool - 2 Reviews

S - Hey man I have an awesome drink for you to try.

L …€“ Oh that's cool. What is it?

S …€“ You don't even know man it's Way 2 Cool.

L …€“ Okay well what is it?

S …€“ No man, the company is called Way 2 Cool. It's ginger ale.

L …€“ Oh I like ginger ale. Let me have a taste…€¦..There is definitely something off about this ginger ale. Are you sure it's not about a decade expired?

S …€“ No man, that's just the barley malt in it.

L …€“ To quote my ex-roommate, “That's the kind of thing you tell a goddamn man!” Seriously malt beverages can be decent, but it's not the kind of thing that you sneak up on someone. If you don't know it's there the drink just tastes like it's gone bad.

S …€“ Dude, malt makes everything better…€¦.like liquor.

L …€“ Okay, you're just an idiot, and this drink isn't very good. It's most certainly isn't “Way 2 Cool.” Actually it's barely passable. I don't even think I could finish this bottle. I like malt when it's mixed with apple or pineapple, but it does not mix well with ginger. If it wasn't for that stupid malt this would have actually probably been a decent ginger ale. It has real ginger in it, plus limejuice and cinnamon. I bet it would have been interesting, and more than likely tasty. Here I sit though trying to make it through this weird malt that is overpowering every other flavor, while somehow slightly tasting like moldy bread. I can't believe that there is no mention of malt on the label besides the ingredients list. It's just going to turn off 99% of the people that would buy this. Also dude, why on Earth does this label say “Free Tibet and Taos?” Isn't that a bit insulting? I mean grouping in human rights activists with a couple of snowboarders that want a town to let them ride there? I'm beginning to think a bunch of suburban hippies started this company, and that makes sense why it tastes like garbage. Those type of hippies ruin everything.

S …€“ But dude! If you drink to the top of the label and put in orange juice it's a straight-edge brass monkey!

L …€“ Oh my god, you are an idiot. Please never give me another drink. Actually, please never speak to me again. I think I became dumber in this brief conversation.

This is one of those times that I REALLY wish a company had a working website. The website http://www.way2coolsodas.com is on the side of the bottle but it leads to nothing. I doubt this company is out of business because I found this bottle at a Whole Foods in Santa Fe, NM a few months ago. Since I have no way of contacting anyone from this company, I am going to conduct a fictional interview with their owner.

Who are you?
I'm Lloyd, I live in Santa Fe, NM and I founded Way 2 Cool Sodas.

Why did you name it "Way 2 Cool"
I was sitting in my dorm room one day and I was thinking about how awesome it would be if I made my own soda. I thought to myself that if I actually did it, it would be way too cool. So since I couldn't think of anything more radical than that, it stuck.

Do you realize that "Way 2 Cool" is possible the worst beverage name I have ever seen? Even Kronik is better than that.
No way dude! You just don't get it.

And look at the artwork on the bottle! It looks like someone on an acid trip painted it.
I painted that and I do not admit that I did an eighth of shrooms and smoked a bowl before painting it.

The only way the horrible name and art would be redeemable would be if this root beer was exceptional, but it's not. It's pretty generic tasting root beer. I wouldn't be surprised if you took Safeway brand root beer, poured it into these glass bottles, and called it "micro brewed"
That's like, your opinion man.

There you have it. How this got on the shelves of Whole Foods, I will never know.