Way 2 Cool Ginger Ale

S - Hey man I have an awesome drink for you to try.

L …€“ Oh that's cool. What is it?

S …€“ You don't even know man it's Way 2 Cool.

L …€“ Okay well what is it?

S …€“ No man, the company is called Way 2 Cool. It's ginger ale.

L …€“ Oh I like ginger ale. Let me have a taste…€¦..There is definitely something off about this ginger ale. Are you sure it's not about a decade expired?

S …€“ No man, that's just the barley malt in it.

L …€“ To quote my ex-roommate, “That's the kind of thing you tell a goddamn man!” Seriously malt beverages can be decent, but it's not the kind of thing that you sneak up on someone. If you don't know it's there the drink just tastes like it's gone bad.

S …€“ Dude, malt makes everything better…€¦.like liquor.

L …€“ Okay, you're just an idiot, and this drink isn't very good. It's most certainly isn't “Way 2 Cool.” Actually it's barely passable. I don't even think I could finish this bottle. I like malt when it's mixed with apple or pineapple, but it does not mix well with ginger. If it wasn't for that stupid malt this would have actually probably been a decent ginger ale. It has real ginger in it, plus limejuice and cinnamon. I bet it would have been interesting, and more than likely tasty. Here I sit though trying to make it through this weird malt that is overpowering every other flavor, while somehow slightly tasting like moldy bread. I can't believe that there is no mention of malt on the label besides the ingredients list. It's just going to turn off 99% of the people that would buy this. Also dude, why on Earth does this label say “Free Tibet and Taos?” Isn't that a bit insulting? I mean grouping in human rights activists with a couple of snowboarders that want a town to let them ride there? I'm beginning to think a bunch of suburban hippies started this company, and that makes sense why it tastes like garbage. Those type of hippies ruin everything.

S …€“ But dude! If you drink to the top of the label and put in orange juice it's a straight-edge brass monkey!

L …€“ Oh my god, you are an idiot. Please never give me another drink. Actually, please never speak to me again. I think I became dumber in this brief conversation.