Italy - 29 Reviews

So for a while now this drink has been bouncing around the three of us here at Thirsty Dudes. Mike found it somewhere for mere cents and had to buy it. The problem is that we all hate banana flavored things, well except Runts. Since then it has exchanged hands several times, never willingly. I really should have just kept it going. Hid it in Mikes burrito, or mailed Derek some crazy root beer, but drink it myself and fill the bottle back up with this “banana flavored drink.” An old roommate and I once hid a box of caramel popcorn in each other's rooms for over a year. When one would find it, they would hide it somewhere in the others room. I wonder if he ever found it the last time I hid it. It's been over two years since then. Oh well enough dilly-dallying and tales of wonder, I'm going to drink this bottle of what has to be grossness and end it's reign of terror.

Oh god, I think it may be worse than I ever imagined. It's one thing for something to be banana flavored. I mean they are gross, but tons of people like them. If it actually tasted like bananas I would have given it a decent review, because it would have tasted like it was supposed to and billions of people would have enjoyed it. There may be eight people in this world that might enjoy this monstrosity. It actually smells like banana Runts, so I thought there might be hope for it. Nope. It tastes like banana candy mixed with Windex. There is actual banana juice in this, yet I would be more suited to wash the windows of my house with this than I would be to drink it. Since this is Hello Kitty, and a weird flavor one would be led to believe that it is a product of Japan. Again, Nope. This sucker was made in Italy. Italy, you should know better. You're drinks are normally top notch. I expected so much more from you.

Dear Italy, Why have I never graced your shores? I feel like I have been nearby several times, but we never made the leap into the birthplace of pasta and organized crime. You are the home to many great things, and I think you deserve for me to visit and show some respect. I promise I will do so in the next few years. We'll have a quiet little date. We'll eat some real deal homemade pasta and sauce and you'll sip on a nice wine while I down glass after glass of the soda that is your namesake. I have to say that I may actually enjoy the soda more than your conversation. You know I don't speak Italian. I understand you're trying to make a point, but when I don't understand a thing you're saying the meaning you're trying to convey is lost. How about you just give in and speak English, just for a little while. The soda on the other hand speaks a language that everyone can understand (well except diabetic). It's the language of flavor. You Italy are more intelligent than most. You may have been the first to carbonate your juices, and didn't give up on the practice. You kept right on trucking. I assume that red oranges are the same as blood orange. If not they sure taste the same. It has a tarter, bolder orange flavor. It's the top of the evolution tree of oranges. They aren't going to get better than this. You took this miracle fruit and added just a little bit of sugar and some nice bubbles and you have something close to perfection.

It might be the soda talking, but you're looking pretty good tonight Italy. Oh you have a little bit of sauce on your cheek. No, not that side the other side. Down a little. To the right. Okay it's gone. Now you have some basil in your teeth....

Dear Italy, I love what you've done with sodas. Your version is generally not as sweet, but still very flavorful. I'd like to think that you were trying to take the same approach with this tea, but you lost your way on the adventure. I think where you went wrong is that you concentrated on the peach instead of the tea. I can safely say that you got the peach down perfectly. You actually used peach juice instead of artificial garbage, and it shows. Well done. Unfortunately I think you used either all of your time or your capital working on that and forgot to give the tea the very special attention it deserved. You could have very easily brewed some fresh tea, that would have been great, but you went with a tea extract (poor choice). While this still tastes great, it's more like a peach drink than a tea drink. Sorry.
Sincerely,
The Thirsty Dudes

Although this drink may be an acquired taste, who would want to go for a second one when it tastes like this? I don't hate the San Pellegrino Chinotto and I understand that it is an Italian staple, but this is something else.

Someone recommended this to me not too long after we started the site and I never found one that wasn't in an eight pack. If it was something that wasn't questionable, I might have gotten it, but since it was called a bitter, I didn't want to splurge and get an eight pack and have seven other ones lying around never going to be drank. Drinking this makes me appreciate my decision.

This drink tastes medicinal. The flavor seems like it might want to be cherry, and if you sip the smallest sip, you might taste it, but anything larger than that you get an onslaught of a medicine you were not prescribed. Oh, it's bitter, there is no doubt about that, but what is that good for? "Oh, I love a nice, bitter drink that doesn't have a taste as much as a tongue reaction when I drink it." Who is saying that? Who wants anything overly bitter? It's like asking for something too sweet or too salty. Does this accompany anything? I'm just so confused as to the purpose of this. I'm glad it was cheap, I'm glad it came in an awesome bottle, I'm glad I'm not obligated to drink the whole thing.

I didn't know, but did you know that in Europe, their lemonade is carbonated? Here is the good ol' U.S. of A, we don't carbonate it, nor do we offer the ability to get it. Here, we have it on lockdown. No bubbles or sparkles. Restrictive? I don't know. I think a little variation might be good. For this variation, I need to look no further. This San P is wonderful. I don't like the "original" flavor of San P. It's bitter. This is a little bitter, but a natural fruit bitter, not seltzer water bitter. My mom used to drink that stuff and it used to be gross. This, I feel like I could drink all of the day. It's a great lemon taste with just enough sugar that you don't feel guilty for slaying the whole can, but why should you? You're your own person and you dictate your life and if you want to drink a "whole can" of this in one sitting, hey, that's your nightmare, Jack.

I can't pick a favorite between this and the Aranciata. I do like them both better than the Chinotto, though.

Often times, nay, most times, I am surly. I've always got something to say about everything. I am not awful to be around, but I can get tiring. I know people worse than myself, but I'm man enough to admit it. I enjoy the company of others who complain, but to a certain point. I like to think that I complain in a humorous, reflective way, where others just don't know how to have a good time. This drink had good intentions, but as far as I'm concerned, it's just a good orange pop. Like the great Paul F. Tompkins once said, "The best barbecue is only good barbecue." Orange pop is alright if you're at a party or if you're nine. I guess it's also alright if you're going to have blood orange so you can call yourself "worldly" or some garbage, but this to me just tasted very medium. I've had an excellent blood orange Frizzante before, but this doesn't do it. Orange pop is just orange pop to me.

It's 1991. City of Compton. Rough, rough streets. Kids killing kids over things you and I would laugh at. They don't laugh, they kill, as I mentioned before. Not a day goes by where you don't hear a gun shot or at very least, a domestic dispute. These are hard times. Hard times turn people to drink. Alcohol. 40's. Big alcohol. 40's are like the party sub of malt liquor.

Here's my proposal. Let's go back in time and instead of having overpriced bodegas sell 40's of St. Ides, carry the 40(ish)'s of Archer Farms Wild Berry. People could have been in a bad mood because of financial times and street warfare, but they also could have been upset at the fact that they were drinking a clearly low quality beverage. Archer Farms Wild Berry Italian soda is a bright, clean, and crisp drink. So many flavors roll across your tongue with every sip, like elderberry and blackcurrant to name a few...and it's more than affordable.

Cleaning up the streets is a rough job and since it clearly can't be left in the under-capable hands of O'Shea Jackson, leave it up to the Archer Farms Italian soda lineup.

What we have here is a proper drink. Here's how it goes.

Step 1: Birth
When an orange is born, it is just an orange. No one touches it. They don't rub other stuff on it, nothing. Not ignored, just not messed with. This is a fruit in its purest sense.

Step 2: Adolescence
When an orange starts to grow up, it turns into orange drink. Too sweet for normal consumption, good once a year, kids love it. Kids are kids, and kids love kids. Adults don't like kids, so adults don't deal with kids. This isn't a great time for orange.

Step 3: Rebellious Stage
This is an interesting time for an orange. At this stage in the game, he doesn't know if he will go to college, or become an artist, or just be a vagabond and wander the country getting dirt in his pores. He will fraternize with other fruits and end up in punches and mixes like orange mango juice, orange lemon pop, and banana orange smoothies. It is a wonderful time because at this stage, an orange can be whatever it wants to be.

Step 4: Adulthood
Oranges exclusively make up orange juice. Different brands. Different qualities. It all depends on how you were brought up, but at the end of the day, every orange's carton says the same thing; "Orange Juice"

Step 5: Seniority
Oranges in this stage are refined. They know who they are and stick to what they know best. What they know best is water and themselves. The things they know to survive. San Pellegrino Aranciata is seniority aged orange. It's a tad bitter, but with a real orange taste with just enough sweetness to make it drinkable by most everyone. This wonderful drink tastes like a high quality sparkling orange juice. Aged to perfection, this stage is what all oranges strive for.

I don't like regular San Pellegrino. I'm not a huge fan of seltzer or sparkling water. My girlfriend loves it and always asks for soda water with lemon any time we go to a restaurant. I try it once every three months and hate on it every time.

This is different. It's got a dry cola taste with a strong, citrus taste to it. It tastes like an orange rind would taste, but not like an orange juice pop might. The chinotto isn't an orange, but it's got to be from the same family as it's the same shape, color, scent, and so on.

I like this. It's different. It's very bitter and it's a dry cola taste. It's a sipping drink. A large gulp might be too much, much like eating a handful of orange peels, which you would never do unless you hated yourself.

This was recommended by a friend who told me it was an Italian favorite and an acquired taste. You can probably get it at most larger grocery stores or any Italian market.