Admiral Iced Tea Lemon

We're having a real problem with the drinking water here, Admiral. I don't know if we're refilling the drums with clean water and I'm afraid that we're filling it with water from the sea. Why do I ask? Well look at this cup. Number one issue I see is that it's slightly brown. Number two issue is that there are tiny rocks in it. I thought we addressed this issue last season when those dudes got sick from drinking water from a dirty stream. Sorry, I didn't mean "dudes," sir, I meant "men." So we're here drinking this fishy water and I see that you've always got a can of something. We are all in this together with everything and I don't think that drinking water should be an exception.

What is in that can that we can't have that you can have? Admiral iced tea? With lemon?! You're smuggling in a constant stream of cans of iced tea with the money we're making from shrimping? That money is supposed to go to pay the men at the end of the season and you're buying cans of this tea when we go to land. Pallets of what? You're buying pallets of this stuff? With all due respect, sir, we're eating mashed potatoes and drinking fish water for days and you've got canned iced tea. That hardly seems fair. And steaks?! Sir. I'm afraid that this may be my last season on the ship. Office Depot is hiring. My cousin is the assistant manager and he said he could get me in the ink refilling department.

I would actually like a can, if you are offering. You know what, sir? This isn't too bad. It's lightly lemon and black tea. It doesn't taste terribly natural like something mama would make but it's not too bad. I don't think that I will buy it when we get to land, but it's light years better than the salty seawater we're drinking.

Admiral, we have been together for almost a decade and I respect you, but as I said, Office Depot is offering me a position in the fairly stagnant position of ink filler and I will probably be taking it at the end of this shrimp season. Thank you for the last ten years of your time and it has been an honor to work next to you. What's the difference between "letter" and "A4" paper? I'm going to have to study up.