Aloha Maid Natural Apple Iced Tea

Darling, you look parched. Allow me to fulfill my boyfriendly duties and get you something to drink.

Man, there is nothing to drink in here. It's like a college kids fridge in here. How many ketchups and mustards do you need? Cripes. This milk expired two weeks ago. I don't even now what there is in here besides new beer and old spaghetti and pizza. Alright, what do we have here. Oh, alright. Apple juice. Let me grab a cup here...all absolutely filthy. Now I've got to wash a cup. This is turning into quite a tall order. Oh...oh fantastic. There is enough for half a glass. I can't give her this. What else is in this kitchen. Oh! Iced tea mix. Awesome. I'll just mix half a glass of that in here and have a special little treat.

Here you go, honey. I did the best I could because you are the best I could ask for. What do you mean you don't like it? Let me try it. Yeah, it tastes just like this stuff I drank when I went on vacation with an old girlfriend to Hawaii called Aloha Apple Iced Tea. It's just apple juice and iced tea. You really don't like it? It's better than the PBR's you've got in the fridge. Jesus, Cathy. You're thirty four and your fridge looks like you're a poor undergrad. I had nothing to pick from and I didn't think that ten thirty while watching The View was a good time to crack a cold one. I was wrong? You know what, Cathy? I, too, don't think that this is working out. Give me that glass. I put too much work into this for you to not appreciate it. This drink is like a mirror for this relationship. Enjoy your toga parties, O.A.R. shows, and keg stands. Oh, and I don't think that it's attractive that you walk around all the time without shoes and socks. I think that it's disgusting and when you touch your dirty feet against me at bed I've never felt so dirty in my entire life.