Aquafina Flavorsplash Sparkling Berry Loco

Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal at this $1000 a plate benefit, but I must ask you a very important question, are you crazy? No, huh? Well would you say that you are crazy about berries? You guess. Let's just pretend you said that you are. In fact let's say that you are very crazy about berries. Some might say that you are “berry loco.” Huh, Huh, see what I did there?

So since you are so loco for these berries and I can't seem to get you to shut up about them, how about you try some of this new Aquafina Flavorsplash? It's a berry flavored sparkling water with B vitamins added to it. Sounds great, right? Well what if I told you that we sweetened the deal, literally, and added sucralose? You would say that you have no interest in artificial sweeteners, wouldn't you? I'm right there with you, and I have no idea why they did it. Okay I'm lying I know; this is a diet drink aimed to help people who like soda pop drink something a little healthier. While I'm not a fan of sucralose, I must say that underneath that fake sweetness hides a nice tasting sparkling berry drink. It tastes like the Kool Aid I imagine you rich folks drink would taste like. I know you're Kool Aid tastes better than the version they sell us poor folks, you can't like to me! Fine, I'll leave! I bet you would have had no problem with this drink had I served it in a champagne flute. Snobby McSnobSnob!