Aquafina - 4 Reviews

Why do these beverages exist? Does anyone actually enjoy them, or have people tricked themselves into thinking that it is something that they enjoy? It was only recently that I finally came around to seltzer water, but I can now say that I truly enjoy it, well some flavors. Armed with that knowledge it's a safe bet that never in a million years would I choose a carbonated beverage sweetened with sucralose over one with no sweetener whatsoever. Actually that same could probably said about any type of beverage. The sucralose taste is so strong that it nearly blocks out the fake kiwi flavor, which isn't all that great anyway. Something went very wrong in the development of this beverage and it starts with the letter S and ends in “lose.”

I honestly thought that I was coming around to diet drinks. I thought that I had become somewhat immune to the artificial/zero calorie gang; you know the guys who wear bandanas over their faces when they rob you of the flavor of a beverage. A lot of the time it doesn't bother me anymore. Perhaps it's like the bully who steals the same kids lunch money every day; at a certain point that kids body is just no longer going to expect lunch and learn to deal with the hunger. In this drink the sucralose is strong. It's strong enough to take away from the Tang-esque orange flavor that is obscured by it.

It's not completely overpowering and there is a definite faker orange flavor in here. I also give diet drinks a little bit of leeway because there are a ton of people out there who love them, and I can't disparage an entire genre of beverages when there is a learning curve. If you don't mind the diet flavor, this is a zero calorie beverage that is probably right up your alley. Me I'm gonna get a badge and hunt down that group of taste thieves.

Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal at this $1000 a plate benefit, but I must ask you a very important question, are you crazy? No, huh? Well would you say that you are crazy about berries? You guess. Let's just pretend you said that you are. In fact let's say that you are very crazy about berries. Some might say that you are “berry loco.” Huh, Huh, see what I did there?

So since you are so loco for these berries and I can't seem to get you to shut up about them, how about you try some of this new Aquafina Flavorsplash? It's a berry flavored sparkling water with B vitamins added to it. Sounds great, right? Well what if I told you that we sweetened the deal, literally, and added sucralose? You would say that you have no interest in artificial sweeteners, wouldn't you? I'm right there with you, and I have no idea why they did it. Okay I'm lying I know; this is a diet drink aimed to help people who like soda pop drink something a little healthier. While I'm not a fan of sucralose, I must say that underneath that fake sweetness hides a nice tasting sparkling berry drink. It tastes like the Kool Aid I imagine you rich folks drink would taste like. I know you're Kool Aid tastes better than the version they sell us poor folks, you can't like to me! Fine, I'll leave! I bet you would have had no problem with this drink had I served it in a champagne flute. Snobby McSnobSnob!

All of a sudden, two flavors are spending a lot of time together. If I didn't know better, I would call it "cahoots." When I worked for the state one summer, I learned the word "cahoots." For those who don't know, it means "partners" but for the people I worked with, it means "people teaming up to take our jobs away." The people I worked with there were some of the laziest employees I have ever worked with in my life: long breaks, long lunches, minimal effort, complaining, and everything in between. I am lucky that work ethic didn't wear off on me.

On the positive side of cahoots, we have cherry and pomegranate. Two buddies both red in color teaming up to save the world. One pretty sweet, the other pretty bitter, but together they cancel each other out leaving us with a cop comedy that ended seemingly before it began. This is not too sweet or too anything really. It is almost a watered down juice, which I like more than a "properly mixed" juice. You can taste more cherry than pomegranate but they are both in there doing their thing. Fighting for the good city of Fruitburg against the bank robbers, jewel thieves, cat burglars, and unlicensed beach peddlers. They never stop selling those seashell necklaces no matter how many times the cops come. They never will. That's why the beat don't stop. Cherry and pomegranate are always on the beat.