Arizona Sports Orange

Arizona has run the inexpensive iced tea game for years. You can pretty much walk into any gas station/corner store and they will have a cooler filled with Arizona tall boys. It's hard to go wrong with paying so little for so much of a more than decent beverage. Now, like the Romans before them, Arizona is expanding their empire. They dabbled with energy drinks and now they have moved on to sports drinks and they are taking that scene by storm.

On first look I had such low expectations for this drink. It comes in the traditional 34oz Gatorade-esque bottle, and the label design is fairly terrible. I understand it's the company's logo but nothing about the southwest screams hydration to me. Someone should probably get fired for this. Davis, we understand you've been with the company for 10 years now, and we appreciate all the hard work you're put into the job. The think is the label you did for the sports drink looks a bit childish. On top of that it makes people think about the desert. Davis, as we all know there is no hope in the desert. People are going to think that it's a crapshoot when they open their bottle. Will it be a thirst quenching electrolyte replenishing tasty beverage, or will they get a mouthful of sand and armadillo poop. Do you really want our customers concerned with …€˜dilla poop Davis? I certainly do not! We're knocking you back down to taste tester. Due to current laws we can't lower your rate of pay, so you'll be making the same. Why do you look so happy Davis? You just got demoted. I don't care if you are my wife's brother I can't believe I let her talk me into hiring you. Imagine a world where people are happy to be demoted. Sure you're doing basically no work and getting paid an obscene amount of money to drink our products day in and out, but what about your lost status? Okay so now that you're officially a taste tester what do you think about the drink you did the inappropriate artwork for? It tastes crisp and clean? Well of course it does! We've already covered the fact that there is no armadillo excrement in it! You say it's way superior to Gatorade and it's counterparts because it's all natural and not all syrupy? Now you better not be saying that to get your old job back. We don't let just anyone work 65 hours a week on salary around here!