Big Jak Red Jak Energy Drink

Hey Jak! It's you and me buddy. Let's go for a ride, and by ride I mean via horseback, because due to your name, Red Jak, you are obviously a cowboy. So let's see what these dusty trails have to offer us.

Well it seems that you ride a donkey Jak. I say that because you taste like a drink for children, and that is what children ride on the prairie. Energy drinks for children. That is probably one of the worst ideas ever. I feel like their little hearts wouldn't be able to handle it. Perhaps their tiny veins are too delicate and they would just burst. I don't want to think about these things. Kids stay away from energy drinks. You're young. You naturally have all the energy you need.

To clarify I'm not saying Big Red targets this product towards children, but it tastes like they would love it. It doesn't taste like ten thousand chemical Smarties. It tastes like a berry-flavored soda that is heavy on the strawberry. It reminds me of those Asian gums that come in little boxes with four gumballs. They are really fluffy. I love that gum.

There you have it. Jak's donkey is all tuckered out and won't leave the troth. I on the other hand am carrying my horse around because I'm all amped up from the drink.