Cafe Bustelo Cool Cafe Mocha

You're a classy lady and you deserved to be treated right. You don't need that guy over there, giant padded shoulder suit coat, slicked back hair, button up shirt with a skinny tie, hair as tall as the eye can see. You need a man like me. Baby, it's 1985 and it's time to stop getting with "Yes Men" and get with a man that will make you scream "yes!" That's where I come in. Baby, this dance club is playing the right songs, New Order, Joy Division, The Smiths, and we're getting down. Do you want something to drink, baby? I'll get you something nice.

What a strange bar. I got you something but it's not the martini a classy dame like you deserves. Honestly, strange bar. I mean who serves cold cans of mocha coffee at a dance club? Oh, yes, so I got you a cold can of mocha coffee. I've had this before but always at a corner store, never a club. Drink it. I know you've got a cosmopolitan there but just take a sip. It's good, right? It's a nice coffee taste but with a cocoa mix. It has a good coffee aftertaste, too, like real coffee. It's not too sweet that it tastes bad for you but is sweet enough that it's a nice little treat.

Wait, where are you going? Are you leaving with that grease ball? Really? Oh, he does have a rather gorgeous Lamborghini Countach. Why didn't you tell me? I would have saved two dollars on buying you that drink. Naw, you deserve it baby. Can you ask your man if he can take me for a spin? No? Alright. Welp, see you later.