Evaporated Cane Juice - 53 Reviews

Come on guys; why do you always have to be such jerks? I run to the corner store to get snacks for everyone and you're all giggling. Obviously something went down while I was gone. I also have a strong sense of taste and after one sip it's obvious that one, or more of you, dumped some beer into my root beer. That is so not cool. I know it's a cheap soda, it's not like it's micro brewed or anything, but still it's my drink and you know I hate beer. I mean it still tastes like the generic root beer it is, but now it also has that unmistakable spoiled taste of your cheap beer underneath the classic root beer flavor. It's not the worst ever, I could still power through it, and someone who didn't hate beer would probably think it was interesting and tasty.

Why is everyone laughing even harder now? You knew I would boast about my strong sense of taste and you took bets as to what I would say was in the drink? It's beer, right? Oh it's actually kombucha? So what you're saying is that I've been drinking root beer mixed with fermented tea? I guess that's not as bad, and you guys pulled a good one on me, but I still think it's kind of gross. I stand by my statement of it tasting like beer. Actually, it tastes like old stale beer. Man, the more I think about how it tastes the less I can handle this. One of you jerks can finish this, and you owe me a new drink!

Okay, so last time I did one of these I followed directions to a T and mixed it with water. I wasn't too pleased with the consistency that gave me, as it turned out a tad on the slimy side. This time I threw caution to the wind and mixed it with unsweetened almond milk. After spending far too long vigorously mixing this up, because I didn't have the recommended shaker ball, I took a sip. Definitely less slimy, but it's still so, so thick. I'm talking like baby food thick here folks. It does not have the consistency of something one would think of ingesting. It feels foreign in a from another world sort of way. It's like aliens visited us, and said, “Hey dummies, you're doing food wrong. This is much simpler. It's thick and weird, but it gives you what you need in less time with less fuss.” Stupid jerk aliens are always pointing out our shortcomings.

Consistency aside, this has a nice light vanilla flavor. It doesn't taste cheap, like a bunch of vanilla extract was dumped in. It tastes like quality vanilla, as if real beans were used. I can see where they are going with the ice cream tag. I appreciate that they are not trying to make a health shake taste exactly like an unhealthy thing. There's some stevia in the mix, which you can taste a bit, but this is a drink for health and not leisure, so it's understandable and acceptable.

It takes a few sips to get acclimated to, but once you get over the strange viscosity this is downright enjoyable for a meal replacement shake.

Look at you with your designer jeans and sunglasses that cost as much as a months rent. You are so cool, you and your fancy Italian loafers with matching tie and Spider Veloce. You're so cool. Well look at me. Sure I dress like I have for the last twenty years but I'm cool, too, right? I'm drinking two cool things; espresso and coconut water. Those are cool things, right? It's important to be cool. It's how we put ourselves on imaginary pedestals. This is good stuff, too. I might not have the finer things like those dope brown kid leather driving gloves that beautifully match your wooden steering wheel and stick shift. This drink though brother, this drink is smooth and only half tastes like coconut. The coffee isn't totally too strong like you might like it in your Italian mind with your glorious hair. Look, bro. I'll say it. I don't care. You've got great hair. Try this, dude. No, I'm'a call you "dude" right? You're talking to me and I'm going to talk to you like you're talking to me. This is a good drink. I don't know what kind of standards you are used to but seriously this is good. You know what? I'm done. No. I'm done with you. You and your beautiful tight fade and tight beard. Peace, bruh. You are an elitist. I'm trying to share with you and you're being a real jerk. Now I'm the elitist. Peace.

Cranberry sodas have existed before this. Companies were content with just adding some cranberry juice (or more likely a mixture that tasted vaguely like cranberry juice) to some carbonated water and sweeter. I've never had one that I disliked, but also never one that I would ever describe as great. Taylor's Tonics are never ones to shy away from a challenge, and they set out to create a cranberry soda that is made from the stuff of dreams.

Why keep a soda simple, when there are so many ingredients out there to make it pop? There are things in the world like balsam fir needles, ginger, allspice, coconut water, cherry juice, extract of orange and a combination of Douglas fir and French vanilla flavors. These are the things that keep the beverage world interesting. When combined all of these things with the original three that other companies used created a beverage that I would most certainly describe as great, and perhaps even stupendous. The only problem is that somewhere along the way the drink started tasted more of a culmination of the extra ingredients (mostly allspice) and the flavor of the cranberry base got lost. While I do love the way this tastes, the boldness that is normally present when cranberry juice is in the mix is all but nonexistent. A simple name chance would lift all of that concern off of my shoulders, but Taylor does what Taylor wants.

I know what you're thinking. No, this does not taste like you're eating a Christmas tree. Actually it kind of does, but not in the way you're thinking. It doesn't taste like cleaner or pine. It does taste like the essence of Christmas though. If you took all of the good things about the holiday and threw them all in a blender, this is what it would taste like. This company has hit the nail on the head with their holiday four pack.

It's Thanksgiving and the holiday season is officially upon us. Celebrate this dreary time of your with us and a bottle of carbonated eggnog. You know you want to. If it helps any it's not thick and gross like real eggnog, it's more like a spicy cream soda.

Pastrami and hot mustard is a wonderful sandwich. It wasn't until I was an adult that I enjoyed the more "fancy" lunchmeats. All growing up I was filled to the brim with white bread and either bologna or salami. Now, as an adult, I can get "nicer" things like hot mustards, multi-grain bread, and the most erotic of all the salted meats.

One problem with this super mature sandwich is that it is pretty violent on your breath. What better way to combat the unfortunate effect of dangerously pungent sandwiches than to drink a pop that tastes like candy canes? Lucky for me, Jay bought me a bottle of this probably not knowing that I would use it as a temporary, mid-day toothpaste.

I was surprised that this tasted like a candy cane seltzer and when I read the ingredients, it was made with "sparkling water" and not whatever regular pop is made out of. You can taste that seltzery taste. The drink itself tastes like a candy cane but I didn't get much "shake" out of it. I thought it was going to taste like a peppermint cream soda, which would have been fine but Taylor's doesn't cop out like that. There is erythritol in the bottle, too, but you don't get any of the associated taste that accompanies it.

This was a smooth transition into Christmastime. A much smoother transition than every time I take my headphones off for the past two weeks the kid that works next to me is listening to Christmas music. He loves the stuff. We could never be gay lovers because I would straight murder him over it. Great dude. I would murder him.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's talk candles, shall we? Scented candles are wonderful and can make any living arrangement seem just a little nicer. I myself love to go candle shopping. While I can't afford (read: don't want to pay the crazy prices) for really nice candles, the way they smell is amazing. They tend to have a smell that you can taste, and that brings us to this soda. This drink ultimately tastes the way the highest quality gingerbread candle would smell (it smells just like them to boot). I don't advise biting a candle to taste it, because what you get is simply not what your taste buds would expect from the scent. This though, this is exactly the flavor that I imagine those candles would have.

The bubbly liquid form of a gingerbread house tastes like a mixture of the cookies that are its namesake and chai. I'm not talking a weak chia that you made from some second rate teabag you got at the discount grocery store either. I'm talking real deal brewed from loose-leaf quality chai. It's so strong to the extent that there is almost a burn from it. Knowing what this company has produced in the past, I expected a burn from the ginger, but instead I was greeted with a nice spicy harshness from the chai.

This is by no means an everyday soda. Actually you shouldn't drink any soda everyday, unless you're looking to end up like the mother from What's Eating Gilbert Grape. This is the kind of soda you drink on a special occasion or at the end of a long day. You get into some comfy clothes sit back and sip this over the course of an hour or so. It's meant to be savored and enjoyed. Mull the flavor over in your mouth and think about the holiday season ahead. It's going to be hell, but at least you get some enjoyment in the form of seasonal soda out of it.

You thought I was never going to do it but I did it. Was it hard? No. How hard is buying a cup of green tea? Not hard. It took a lot of recommendation and persuasion to get me out of their hibiscus iced tea, which I should add has been upgraded to a five bottle review, but we did it. How was it? Not as good as everyone thinks it is.

If I had to simplify it, which I don't have to but I will, it tastes like if Whole Foods made green tea Freez-e-pops. It's sweet like the liquid in one would be. As for the promised passion fruit and papaya infusion, it is a light infusion that might only be used to cut out the bitterness of the green tea of which there is none. It's not fruity and doesn't have a ton of body whatsoever. It's a fairly straightforward, entry-level sweet green tea. Sure, it's for the masses so bitterness and complexity don't really bode well for the lowest common denominator. Am I calling you a dumb dummy? No sir or madam. Am I calling you a lady who houses prostitutes? No ma'am.

It just so happens that in this world not everyone is perfect. Sometimes you have a vision, but the way you execute it falls short. As you can read below, that was the case with Sneakz. They had the great idea of creating a beverage for kids that contained a whole mess of vegetables that they need in their diet, but wouldn't eat. People said that kids would never drink that, and that is when Sneakz said, “They will if we disguise it with chocolate!” So they did, but the flavor of the vegetables crept through and no one was happy.

Cut to a couple of years and a second chance later and Sneakz has sent us their reformulated shakes. I very distinctly remembered my last visit with “Bandit” and was not looking forward to it. The reason for that is that I am dumb and forgot that things can change. This is so much better than the old version. The chocolate flavor holds out and completely disguises the veggies. This is like dumping cheese on broccoli and brussel sprouts, except it is delicious and not as horrible for you. Seriously all I can taste is chocolate milk. They have cracked the code and they are exactly where they want to be (well except maybe with more sugar).


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OLD REVIEW
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Oh Bandit, you rascally fox. You are always trying to deceive kids by sneaking vegetables into places they don't belong. Those dumb kids. They will never suspect that there are vegetables inside their chocolate milk. That is, unless they are dumber than you think because it is quite apparent that something wrong is going on inside this juice box. Bandit, you have lost your touch with this one. You might be saving kids elsewhere in things like food but with this drink it is as if you are robbing a bank with no gun, mask, or charisma.

This drink for a split second tastes like a chocolate milk. One split second is all you get. Quickly your temporarily pleased palate is washed over clearly by some sort of tomfoolery. I cannot pinpoint it but it's between vegetable lies and protein drinky. Both of the latter being enemies of children.

Bandit, I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss Sneakz but I've got to fill out "sucks" on the comment card they gave me for you ability to deceive children with hiding goods inside of the bads. Better luck next time little fox. Now come over here and let me pet your little head. I've always wanted to pet a fox.

The essence of Hawaii has been captured and is now available in can form. From my brief stay there I believe I have gathered enough information to make the scientific assumption that it is impossible to be stressed out there. Everything about the island that I was on was just peaceful and beautiful. Lanilai wants to share that inner tranquility with you, the mainlanders, so you can know their joy.

Unlike many relaxation drinks, this is not meant to be a sleep aid. It is simply there to help you “relax, refocus and rejuvenate.” Basically it just calms you down so you can enjoy the little things that are going on around you. It is also non-carbonated, which is nice because harsh bubbles don't really scream relaxation to me, yet a lot of these types of drinks use them. It's something I will never understand and at this point I don't care, because I'm just chill.

The flavor is a mixture of purple muscadine grapes, peaches, mangos and herbal passion flower. I tastes quite sweet and tropical, the way you would expect an island non-adventure to. The peach flavor really stands out the most, but you can detect the other flavors as well. My only complaint is that they used stevia alongside evaporated cane juice, and it left a slightly distracting taste. I don't think they needed to add another sweetener, the amount of cane juice in here would have been just fine.

You could do hours of yoga to relax, or you could be lazy and drink one of these. Guess which one I chose.

Ladies and gentlemen, steal them from seafood restaurants or from your children, but do whatever you can to get yourself a bib, because we're in for a wild ride. Welcome to the 4th annual Westminster Chug-A-Thon, where literally dozens of people come to compete to see who is the national chugging champion. Due to legal issues, we can no longer use beer as our chugging liquid of choice, so this year we have a treat for everyone with some nice Blackberry Lime soda from the appropriately named Bibb company. We have a tanker truck full of the stuff, and that is about 8,000 gallons people. That's a whole lot of liquid, which means there is a good chance we're going to need the paramedics that we have on hand. It's also guaranteed that our contestants are going to be hurling the contents of their stomachs all over themselves, hence the bibs. There's only so much liquid the human stomach can hold, and they are going to need to empty their "tanks" several times if they are serious about winning. It's really a shame though, as the soda we're using is quite delicious. Actually, I feel odd calling it a soda, as it's more of a sparkling juice than soda pop. It's just blackberry and limejuice mixed with carbonated water and a little sweetener. With only 13g of sugar per serving, it looks like no one will be getting diabetes during this contest, which is good because we can't afford another lawsuit. Seriously though Bibbs has a great blackberry base with a strong lime flavor added to it that is nice and present without making you think that it should be called lime blackberry instead. It really is a shame that such a tasty drink is going to flood the streets in the form of regurgitation. With 8,000 gallons in the trunk there is sure to be enough leftover for everyone in the audience to enjoy a glass or two as well. So you're welcome and enjoy the event. Please put on your nose plugs though as we don't want another Stand By Me scenario this year.

This is one of those beverages that walks the line between a soda pop and sparkling juice. I really don't even know how I make the differentiation any more. I guess if there is no sweeteners added it is just sparkling juice by default. It could also be said that if it is sweetened with HFCS, or has an overabundance of sugar in it, it is classified as a soda. This has sugar added to it, but it's evaporated cane juice, and it falls under juice on the ingredients list. I'm just going to proclaim that it is both, as in the larger scheme of life it does not matter at all. What does matter is that it is delicious. Just this morning my girlfriend pulled out a container of blackberries that she had been hiding from me in the fridge. I can't blame her, when they are put in front of me I can't stop myself and I just keep eating them until they are gone. Case in point I think she ate 2 or 3 today and I ate the rest of them. I would say I was a glutton, but it's fruit, so does that even count as gluttonous? The important thing is I have the memory of the actual fruit fresh in my mind, and this drink is not far from it. The berries they used taste like they weren't completely ripe, but I know that is actually how a lot of people prefer their blackberries. It's just a little more tart than one would expect from a berry soda. That is helped by the low amount of sugar that is added to it. There are only 13g of sugar in this bottle and in the world of non-diet sodas that is like nothing. This is a beverage that tastes great that you don't have to feel guilty about drinking.

Kids? I love kids. Why, I've got a nephew. Oh yeah? What's his name? I want to say Mason. Clifford. Little Clifford.

That's what I thought of the entire time with this drink but replace "Mason" with "urinal cake." It's brutal. I apologize. Surely a company wouldn't create a drink that tastes like urinal cakes. Well, not purposely anyway. Something about this drink reminds me of a men's room. I can't put my finger on it. I've never eaten or drank anything from a bathroom, nor do I want to. My girlfriend tells me tales of people going into stalls with a place of chicken wings and coming out with a plate of bones. That happens. This is happening, too and I just can't put my finger on it. Let me try to break it down again. No more sleepy dreamin'.

Initial sip...lemon, like a concentrated lemonade but pulpless. Follow up larger sip bitter lemonness followed by a strange, tangy undertone. If anyone has ever chewed a vitamin C tablet, you know, the ones that are like tiny, compressed capsules of orange juice, that's the intensity of citric power that is emanating from each subsequent tiny sip. The cane juice isn't offensive but it might be the Stevia but it's actually taking a strange turn. Normally Stevia has a small, sharp taste but now it's somehow transformed into a bitter one.

I don't know what's going on in this bottle. I drank it in its entirety but didn't particularly enjoy it. Every sip kept me coming back for more just so that I could pinpoint what it is I didn't like about it. I guess if that's their tactic, they are sure to sell tons of this stuff.

We've entered a whole new world here people, a wonderful crazy new world. This is a carton of sweetened coconut water with a shot of espresso in it. Note to self it is espresso and not "expresso." I pronounced it wrong for most of my life, well the chunk of my life that occurred after the great coffee shop uprising in the 90s. In my mind coffee only existed as crappy gas station/diner/home brewed garbage until the 90s. Then slacker culture took over and coffee culture arose out of this. I'm proud of slacker culture for creating a place for people to hang out that wasn't a bar. I spent a good portion of my teenage years/early 20s hanging out in coffee shops and it was time well spent. Like that time this is pretty great. Neither the coffee nor the coconut water's flavor are overpowering. They blend together incredibly and somehow a slightly chocolate taste is created. I don't know if anyone else would get that out of this, but I certainly did, and I apparently am the drink expert if 2500+ reviews mean anything.

A lot of my friends pound coconut water after a night of drinking to fend off hangovers. Those same people love their coffee, so I think this drink was created just for them. It's a one-two punch so to speak. I can't wait for the other two Thirsty Duders to give this a try, and back me up on its greatness.

When I first heard about this drink I assumed it was unsweetened water with a hint of flavor and caffeine in it. As it turns out it is sweetened and is more of a Vitamin Water than your average everyday water, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. The problem comes from the fact that it doesn't exactly taste like Vitamin Water, but instead falls in between the two beverages. The peach taste is fairly fake tasting, which may be the actual flavoring, or it may be the caffeine that was added. About a year ago we got a bottle of caffeine you could add to any drink to make it into an energy drink. It gave every drink you added it to a very distinct taste, and that same taste is in this bottle. Actually the more I drink of this the more it tastes like water with caffeine added to it, which is what it is in essence. If the peach flavor had been a little different to mask the taste of the caffeine this thing would be pretty decent, but as it is I didn't even finish the entire bottle. Sorry Blink.

Times like this are when my science skills get to shine. What sits in front of me is a delicious honey vanilla chai tea concentrate. There is a whole lot of concentrate in this bottle. The ingredients say that it's enough for eight servings, but I just made a glass, and it barely made a dent in the bottle.

To prove I am a scientist I got out some measuring cups so that I could follow the directions exactly. When it comes to reviewing concentrates like this it's pretty crucial to get it just right, or the favor could be completely off. Yeah, something as simple as that is still science, deal with it. The directions say to mix it with milk or milk substitute. Since I am not proud of my mutant gene that allows me to drink other creature's milk (oh man Professor X would be so disappointed in me) I went with unsweetened almond milk. I also chose to make it the cold way instead of hot, as it's summer and who wants to drink hot tea at 3PM in the blazing hot sun?

So I followed the directions and made myself a nice chilled glass of honey vanilla chai tea, and it is gosh darn delicious. It definitely tastes more vanilla than most chai teas I've had before. You also can taste the honey, which I didn't really expect. If this is what was served to me after I just shelled over nearly $5 at a local coffee shop, I wouldn't be upset or feel cheated. In fact if I didn't know any better I really wouldn't know that it was made from a concentrate. Some of the spices didn't really mix in all that well, and I would get sip that were chock full of clove and cinnamon, but I blame that on my mix of choice. I feel like they may have mixed in better with cow milk. I actually decided to drink a second glass, and I upped the almond milk ratio a little bit, and it turned out more my speed. That's the joy of concentrates, you can make them as weak or as strong as you'd like. Man, I really can't wait to try this hot once the sun goes down.

You're a classy lady and you deserved to be treated right. You don't need that guy over there, giant padded shoulder suit coat, slicked back hair, button up shirt with a skinny tie, hair as tall as the eye can see. You need a man like me. Baby, it's 1985 and it's time to stop getting with "Yes Men" and get with a man that will make you scream "yes!" That's where I come in. Baby, this dance club is playing the right songs, New Order, Joy Division, The Smiths, and we're getting down. Do you want something to drink, baby? I'll get you something nice.

What a strange bar. I got you something but it's not the martini a classy dame like you deserves. Honestly, strange bar. I mean who serves cold cans of mocha coffee at a dance club? Oh, yes, so I got you a cold can of mocha coffee. I've had this before but always at a corner store, never a club. Drink it. I know you've got a cosmopolitan there but just take a sip. It's good, right? It's a nice coffee taste but with a cocoa mix. It has a good coffee aftertaste, too, like real coffee. It's not too sweet that it tastes bad for you but is sweet enough that it's a nice little treat.

Wait, where are you going? Are you leaving with that grease ball? Really? Oh, he does have a rather gorgeous Lamborghini Countach. Why didn't you tell me? I would have saved two dollars on buying you that drink. Naw, you deserve it baby. Can you ask your man if he can take me for a spin? No? Alright. Welp, see you later.

I'm sorry your dessert has taken so long to get to you. As you may know this is our opening weekend and we did not expect to be this busy. Who would have known that this many people in the city would be interested in a vegan restaurant? We've been completely slammed, and it's great, but exhausting.

I know you ordered the mango peach soy ice cream, but what I didn't know was that the kitchen put it out for me to drop off to you, and I got caught up with another table. As a result it ended up melting, and unfortunately that was the last bowl of it we had left. I poured the melted mess into a glass for you, in case you still wanted it. I'll take that and your drinks off of the bill. I'm sorry again.

What's that you're offended that I would offer you soy ice cream melt? Well fine, maybe I will drink it myself! MMM…€¦this is actually really good. If I didn't know this was supposed to be frozen I would think this was a nice thick drink. Well, I guess it's not too thick, but thicker than most. You can really taste both of the fruit flavors in here. You two messed up royally by not accepting this. It's delicious and so darn smooth. I bet Silk could put this in cartons and it would fly off the shelves. Seriously, you don't know what you're missing you fools. Maybe next time you won't be so rude to your server and good things will come to you.

Barry, stop our crying. You know that every time you get eat ice cream you get distracted by something else and then it melts. Of course you then get upset and the crying and yelling starts. I'm sick of it. I don't care that you've been diagnosed with ADHD, you're just a big baby. If this keeps happening I hear the coach is going to stop inviting to you to get ice cream after our baseball games. Imagine that, life without ice cream from mini plastic baseball helmets. Well at least you didn't have a cone, so you can still spoon up the melted mess. By the way, who the hell gets berry ice cream? In a world of chocolate, peanut butter and mint, who chooses berry? You're not going to eat your melt? Well it looks like you really are a baby. Give it to me, I'll eat it you wasteful baby!

This tastes a lot like the drink my sister always has in the fridge. She's a vegan, so she always has weird stuff in there. Yeah this definitely tastes like that protein drink she always has, and always yells at me for drinking. I always sneak some because it reminds me of melted ice cream. Well, I guess melted “soy cream.” Basically it's a bunch of berry juice mixed with soymilk with some plant-based protein added. It's basically like a berry creamsicle. My sister always boasts that it doesn't taste chalky like other protein drinks, since there is no whey in it. Whatever it tastes good so I drink it, and she yells at me.

You really are a baby Barry. You're just lucky that you always hit homeruns. How did such a baby get so good at baseball?

There is a cabin that a friend's family owns that Jay and myself go to a few times a year. Before there was the powerhouse that is Thirsty Dudes there was just Jay and I drinking drinks for fun. On our way up to the cabin, we like to stop at a supermarket and get things like hot dogs and drinks. This was the first time that I had seen or heard of Steaz. I think that I got a pomegranate acai and I also think that it was three-ish years ago. I hated every sip of it and I don't think that I have drunk another Steaz until today because of it. I'm not one to really hold a grudge, but I didn't feel like I was missing out on drinking any more of that junk.

We have been playing catch-up with some older, more common drinks as of late and I have seen this on the shelves forever and just assumed it was junk and skipped right on by. I decided to give it a go last week and I'm happy that I did. This is just what I was looking for. It's really light and has a nice, non-gum and non-mouthwash mint taste. It's actually refreshing and if I was a common man and not a destroyer of drinks, I would easily make this a standard in my collection of go-to drinks. It's not too bitter but tastes real. I liked it. The colder it was the better, too. It really brings out the coolness of the mint. This is good. Sorry I hated you for so long.