Coco Cafe - 3 Reviews

Welcome to Coco Cafè where everything we serve is made with coconuts. Sure it limits what we have to offer and to be honest we have kind of a niche clientele, but we do what we do and if you don't like it you can get your nutrition elsewhere. Oh, you're going to be adventurous and stay, well la-ti-da Mr. Fancypants. May I suggest you try our coconut on a half shell? It's really just a coconut cut in half and a knife/fork combo. What can I say; our chef isn't very good in the kitchen. What he lacks in cooking, he sure makes up for in beverages though. Here try one of these coconut lattes on the house. Today he whipped up some vanilla ones, and they are a little bit of okay.

To make these drinks chef starts off with a mess of coconut water and adds a splash of reduced fat milk in it. I don't know why, I think he has some weird vendetta against vegans. I heard his fiancè ran off with an activist or something and now he's all jaded and bitter. Anyways, he then dumps a shot of espresso into that mixture, topping it all off with just a dash of vanilla extract. I personally could use a little bit more of the vanilla because it's kind of hard to find it under the espresso flavor. This really just tastes like a nicer coffee with a whole lot of coconut milk in it that has been moderately sweetened. Even though it's fairly simple it really does taste nice. It also makes coffee refreshing, which is an added bonus.

You know what? We should probably just close up this restaurant and go into the drink business. This whole exclusive coconut dish thing was a dumb idea from the get go.

Life is rough when you live like common people. Life is exhausting when you do whatever common people do. When you stay out all night to dance, drink and screw there's nothing else but feel like complete exhausted hungover garbage in the morning. Jarvis Cocker left that out of his little life lesson that he gave with his band Pulp.

Fear not common people of the world, there is help for you and all the rich turds who are slumming it. The answer is the wonderful Coco Cafè. It's a carton of coconut water (to rehydrate you) with a shot of espresso mixed in (to help wake you up when you have a lack of caffeine in your blood stream and a lack…€¦wait wrong English lyricist.) The results are wonderful, and to make things better they have now added chocolate to the mix to improve the flavor to even higher levels. Oh did I mention that it tastes like dark chocolate, because it does and it's wonderful. The drink is a bit bitter because of everything involved, but that doesn't detract from it; it simply makes it seem more adult. Too bad a lot of adults are morons.

I myself am not a common person, nor am I a pretender in such matters. I don't need this drink for the reasons stated above, but I still enjoy the hell out of it.

We've entered a whole new world here people, a wonderful crazy new world. This is a carton of sweetened coconut water with a shot of espresso in it. Note to self it is espresso and not "expresso." I pronounced it wrong for most of my life, well the chunk of my life that occurred after the great coffee shop uprising in the 90s. In my mind coffee only existed as crappy gas station/diner/home brewed garbage until the 90s. Then slacker culture took over and coffee culture arose out of this. I'm proud of slacker culture for creating a place for people to hang out that wasn't a bar. I spent a good portion of my teenage years/early 20s hanging out in coffee shops and it was time well spent. Like that time this is pretty great. Neither the coffee nor the coconut water's flavor are overpowering. They blend together incredibly and somehow a slightly chocolate taste is created. I don't know if anyone else would get that out of this, but I certainly did, and I apparently am the drink expert if 2500+ reviews mean anything.

A lot of my friends pound coconut water after a night of drinking to fend off hangovers. Those same people love their coffee, so I think this drink was created just for them. It's a one-two punch so to speak. I can't wait for the other two Thirsty Duders to give this a try, and back me up on its greatness.