Gevalia Iced Coffee with Almond Milk Mocha

When Editor Dan and Jay and I get together, we eat food. We love the stuff. It's like we need it to live. When we've got a couple more minutes than normal, we do what other extremely attractive and confident men do which is go to Big Lots.

Why wouldn't I like a nice, tall mocha drink? You're right. I wouldn't not like it. Except, of course, when it tastes like this.

I don't think it's the almond milk because I've had that but something in this drink gets stuck to my tongue and tastes bad and tastes bad for an extended amount of time. My live-in girlfriend likes it so I'll try to think of the good parts. It does have a good mocha taste. It's nice and smooth. Badness? It's just got some sort of...presence that sits on your tongue like you on the couch after the boss was riding you all day. You aren't moving. You don't care what's on TV. You will watch The Bachelor if it comes on. You like watching those girls fight about their completely fabricated lives anyhow. This drink resides for so long that it should have to pay rent or mortgage depending on your current living situation.

I wish this was better. Almonds? Love 'em. Mocha? Love it. This? Naw, bro. Swing and a miss.