Honest Fizz Professor Fizz

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Professor. Wait…€¦what? I thought we were a group of esteemed physicians here giving each other nice salutations. Now there's this professor in the mix. He doesn't even have a doctorate, just a measly masters degree. Like someone with an inferior education to us could ever show us a thing or two about a thing or two. Fine, I'll try your stupid soda that you created with your lower level education. Hmm, this is actually…€¦kind…€¦of…€¦good. I didn't expect that. I saw the cherry on the can and I didn't even process the implications of the name you gave it, since you know I have a doctorate and I need not pay attention to lowly professors. This isn't cherry at all, not even black cherry. Okay, I lied there's cherry in there, but it's the way that my college over there Dr. Pepper has cherry in it. It's a close facsimile to his product, but why would the market need this? Wait you're telling me there is no sugar and zero calories in this beverage? How can that be so, it doesn't taste like diet poison?!?! It's sweetened with erythritol and stevia? Well then, I really wish you possessed that sheet of paper that would allow me to be friends with you because you have created one heck of a beverage there. I normally detest all things diet, but this really tastes wonderful. I don't know how you've done it. Perhaps we can get Pepper's degree transferred over to you for your scientific breakthrough in the world of soda. He's been working on cracking this code for decades and has never even come close to your products.