Jelly Belly Gourmet Soda Crushed Pineapple

One thing I would like to do before I die is chop a pineapple down from a tree and eat it. I guess I could have someone more skilled get it down for me but I want it inside of me no more than two minutes after it came down from the tree. That's a fresh pineapple. I want it. I don't think that's a dramatic request. I can catch it, even though I am aware it might hurt me. It's like a slightly spikey, oddly shaped football. I love pineapple, though and want a fresh one. No more of this out of season garbage. Fresh, son.

This pop, although probably distant from a fresh pineapple, tastes a lot like pineapple. Not quite carbonated pineapple juice, but close. It's very sweet. You should not drink this alone. It's not destructive in its calories content at a pretty standard 120, but it is sweet, man.

Who knows, a fresh pineapple might not be that far away. I don't have any plans to travel to an exotic paradise any time soon but in the scheme of things, even five years isn't that long to have to wait for hopefully the best pineapple I will ever have in my life.