Litl' Squirt Natural Maine Spring Water Raspberry Apple

Oh kids. You've got so many more selections than when I was a kid. I want you to read that like I was the oldest man alive because that's how I meant it to be read. The written word just doesn't have the same flair as, say, an audio recording. Oh, you know, kids. Records. Remember records? Remember crank windows? You dumb kids and your dumb buttons. Try endlessly turning a knob for a little bit, why don't'cha? Lazy brats. Oh, right. Reviews. Right.

I don't spend a lot of time around raspberries but I've been around an apple a couple times and I've got to say, this is a very accurate portrayal of that dynamic duo. You've got some super sweetness from the apple and some nice berryness (not a real word) from the raspberries. Not too bad, Litl' Squirts. All without adding any extra sugar in there, too. You, sirs and madams, have made a good juice.

Speaking of little squirts, you! Hey, you! Do something constructive with your life. Yeah, I'm sure leveling up in World Of Warcraft took a long time but it's not making you a better person. Go get dirty. Get hurt. Get a job. Stop talking on the phone. Drink some healthy juices. Get strong. Be nice to old people. Get me something to drink. Hold the door for people. Be polite. Golden rule. You kids are the worst, nowadays. The worst.