Nu South Strawberry Lemonade

What was wrong with the old South? I mean, racism aside, it's been a pretty good place, right? Well, excluding all those floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and all that stuff, too. You know what else is "wrong" with the south? This drink. It's bad. It's downright gross. It's super fake-tangy. It might at one time have been a legit company, but tasting this drink makes me want to write them off completely. Nothing in this bottle tastes sincere, like dating a girl with a killer body only to find out that tissue paper and Spandex made it that way. All that hard work was for nothing. Surprises. I don't know why, but I didn't like the looks of this drink the minute I laid my eyes on it. It does smell like lemonade but that sting that I get when I drink it...where does that come from? It's not a sour sting. It's a chemical sting. Like that sting you get from Brisk iced tea. What is that and where does it come from?

The South. Get your acts together. I'm sorry about your tragedies, but this is inexcusable.