Pangleheimers Muscatel

I just ate five pounds of lentils. Okay so maybe it was about two pounds, but it was so many lentils, and they were covered in so much hot sauce. It was wonderful. When I got home from the diner I was stuffed, but I wanted a nice sweet sparkling drink. I'm borderline food coma here, and I still crave a pop. What's wrong with me? How do I not weigh 500 pounds?
Muscatel it is. It's a wine grape, but this doesn't taste like wine at all. At first I thought it tasted like some weird freezie pop, but then I realize it tastes kind of gross. Wait maybe it does taste like a wine of some sort, because wine is also gross. Way to ruin perfectly good grapes by making your crappy beverage wine makers of the world.

I want this to be good, but it's just not. It tastes old. Jerid said it tastes like it's been sitting open on a shelf for years and is long expired. Maybe he's right. He tastes right. I mean it tastes like what he said, not that his flesh tastes right. Maybe it does. I've never actually tried it. Hey Jerid come here....