Pepsi X Dragonfruit Cola

I have never seen X Factor. I know what it's about. Do I need to watch that to review this? I hope not. I don't hate Simon Cowell. I think that his role in television in unnecessary because the people who aren't good enough to be on television shouldn't be on television. I think, yes, he tells people what they need to hear but his role was created to solve a problem that didn't exist. That man is a heck of a driver, though, brother. Skills. He's good. So, for the wheelman Mr. Cowell, I will review your drink.

Simon, this is a nice drink. It's the first I've seen a major corporation utilize such a unique product as dragonfruit. I couldn't drink this entire bottle because I enjoy my teeth, current weight, and don't have dental insurance to fix them. I know you always sit on television with the world's largest glasses of pop but you and I both know that it's not pop in there all the time and that it's merely an advertising piece. You are a true Englishman and are probably drinking tea. It's in your blood. That's not to say that you can't drink pop, but your body craves a nice Earl Gray. That's not me creepily telling you that "I know what you want, Simon." but it's just a broad, blanket assumption.

Simon, I don't know what role you played in the planning of this drink but you didn't a good job and should take credit for it if you did. It's better than lemon Pepsi was. Vanilla was pretty good but this is a completely separate animal as far as I am concerned. This is Pepsi with a fruity taste. I'm going to get in trouble for saying that it's good because companies that more properly utilize dragonfruit are very passionate about it and get upset when companies much smaller and less influential misuse their precious, favorite fruit. They've got their own market and you've got yours. "You" in that previous sentence was you, Mr. Cowell and Pepsi.

I hope/trust you have a good season on the X Factor this year. I hope that it allows you to buy wonderful new cars. That's sincere, from one gear head to another.