Powerade Zero Grape

You like sports, bro? I love sports. I love them. I love winning. Hashtag winning, right, bro? Remember that? Charlie Sheen? That dude rules. Yeah, present tense. He still rules. You know who else rules? Our local sports team. They're awesome. Hey, I'm thirsty. You know what a thirsty dude drinks when he's thirsty? No. Not water you munch? Water is for chess players. I mean a real sportsman like you and I. Powerade, that's right. Specifically grape Powerade. This stuff goes down smooth, doesn't taste like poison and tastes like regular grape drinks should. It's good and really helps me when it comes down to baseball time. I'm permanently in the mental state of a homerun derby, bro. All day every day.

What did you say, Miss Catherine? We're done role playing for the day? Oh, man. Thank you. I don't know how much more of that I could have done. Maybe I don't want to play the role of "the jock" in the school play. Can I keep this grape Powerade, though? It's pretty good and actually does taste good. For a diet drink, it's not gross at all.