Raaw Raspberry Lemongrass

If this is what the raw food movement is all about, I'm in. I'll stop cooking everything. I'll eat everything cold and uncooked and undercooked. Pizza? Nope. Not unless it's just a ball of cold dough with just a whole beefsteak tomato and just stalks of uncleaned oregano. That's my new pizza. My new taco is more of a taco bowl because I can't eat proper tortillas. My cereal is made with water and instead of marshmallows and chocolate is just corn or peas. My new strange, unconventional lifestyle is all worth it because I get to drink this drink.

This drink...is wonderful. It is a powerful blend of raspberries and lemongrass. That lemongrass, man. That is strong. That is a strong flavor that is wrapped in a secret, deceiving, grass looking disguise. You look at it and think, "Oh, that's grass. No big deal." Then you take a bite out of it and your hair looks like when you used to go to Spensers at the mall and touch that laser ball. The raspberry just cuts some of that powerful lemongrass and leaves you with something you think you've had before but haven't. Oh, raspberry lemonade? I've had it. You idiot. This is not wimpy lemonade. This is lemonade for adults. Adults who have scorched their mouths on pizza hundreds of times and now need something stronger to cut through the scars and your tired, grizzled old tongue.

I would love to see a wimp kid drink this and watch his face as the powerful flavor blasts his dumb taste buds out of his mouth and knocks those rubber bands from his braces across the room hitting his older sister in the cheek. She deserved it. Trust me. She's a brat.