Zevia Strawberry

In space, no one can hear you scream. This is fine because everyone up there is texting all the time anyhow. It's worse than Earth. Everyone up is there is emoticon-ing so much more than down here that they had to invent phones that have an extra row of keys that are just different emoticons. LOL, ROFL, ASL, and WTF, are so last decade up there. No one talks anymore.

That isn't a bad thing for everyone, though. When word gets out about a new product, since everything is digital and instant, everything happens super fast. When the latest shipment of Earth food came up there, there was a case of Zevia strawberry pop. Some of the people split it up and instantly started raving about it. They said that it was sweet and had a real Stevia taste but the taste of actual strawberries was stellar enough that everything blended together wonderfully. Also, like in the movie Wall-E, everyone is disgustingly obese and rolls around in abandoned Lark scooters so the zero calorie thing really helps.