Celsius - 13 Reviews

Celsius sent us over a couple of flavors that we have already reviewed. I'm not sure if they are reformulated, or if it's just new packaging, but since it's been about five years since I reviewed the other one, I thought I'd give it another go.

When so much time has passed memories can get a bit hazy. I had a general idea of how this tasted, and reading my old review filled in some gaps. From what I said and what I remember I'm pretty sure they have tweaked the recipe a little. This has a cleaner orange taste and it's not so much an orange soda flavor. It certainly still tastes diet, but I don't mind it as much as I remembered. It's a functional beverage meant to help you burn calories, so of course it's not going to be loaded with real sugar. They seemed to find a way to soften the diet taste a bit, or else I'm just more used to it than I was back then. Either way if you are the sort of person that is drinking Celsius, then you probably have a good idea of what you're getting yourself into.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
A couple of friends and I were planning on riding to Niagara Falls on our bikes today. It was close to, if not over, 90 degrees out but we figured we'd be riding next to the river the whole time, so it should be cooler. It was, but it was still pretty hot. Before we left I downed this can of Celsius. I definitely enjoy their sparkling drinks over their teas. They both taste so overly diet (they are weight loss drinks what so I don't expect otherwise) but the bubbles mask it a bit. This tasted like a really cheap diet orange soda that you would find at Aldi or some such discount grocery store. It wasn't the greatest, but for what it is and what it does I can't really expect a gem. I definitely felt an energy burst from it, and I will assume it helped burn calories. So I downed the can pretty fast, let out a humungous burp and hit the pedals.

We made it about halfway through Wheatfield when we decided to stop at a gas station and refill our water bottles. We were sitting outside sipping on some crisp cold water when suddenly my front tire let out all its air. It was loud and it was fast. The bike was laying on the ground for about ten minutes without being touched for ten minutes before it happened. I blame the sun. I really think it got to hot and burst. Stupid sun, you're just fighting dirty because I put on SPF 85 sunscreen!

In the future when the whole world is filled with fat slobs, the skinny man, with all of their nimble ways, will be king. Since the worlds food supply will be nothing but snack foods and items of the deep fried variety staying slim will be a challenge. In fact many will result to illegal methods to keep their figure. The way these are packaged makes me think they are some sort of futuristic street drug. People meet up on shady street corners in the dead of night and deals are made for the sweet (actually kind of weirdly bitter) powder that will give them an edge over the overweight set.

These actually taste completely artificial like I would imagine a black market futuristic weight loss drug would. With both sucralose and erythritol in the mix making up what I can only assume is a majority of the powder the natural wild berry flavor never stood a chance. This one is much better than the orange version, but it still leaves something to be desired, mainly not an overwhelming taste of fake sugar.

Now how much do you think these things will sell for when the fatpocolypse hits? Should I stock up now?

Celsius beverages have never been known as a tasty bunch of drinks to me. The thing is that they were functional beverages that had a very specific purpose, so I tended to be a bit forgiving on the flavor side of the review. It is extremely hard to turn a blind eye to the taste of what is created when you mix this packet into water. Nothing about it, including the orange flavor tastes natural. It's as if someone powdered toxic waste and tricked me into thinking that it would help with exercising.

If this were a normal beverage I would never have made it past a sip or two, but as I said it's functional and helps burn more calories in a workout as well as give you a little energy boost for said workout. I'm forcing myself to down the whole glass before I head to the gym. It's the most diet tasting orange beverage I have ever tasted, and it really better work, because you have to suffer through it.

I've had my fair share of these drinks, and this is probably the best tasting of the bunch. It has a generic fake orange flavor to it with a hint of ginger (no burn) that tries to fight the fake sugar taste that lingers at the end. The fact that it is non-carbonated only helps. It goes down smooth, and it serves its function.

For once my issue with a functional beverage isn't with the flavor, it's with the name. I really have no idea why I have never questioned it before, but why is this company called Celsius? What does that have to do with eliminated calories? I mean I get that they are trying to tie it in with burning calories, and flames are hot and Celsius is a unit of measurement for temperature. It just seems like there has to be something more behind it, and I want to know what it is. There's more to this story, and the ex-reporter in me wants to find out what it is. The ex-15-year-old in me couldn't care less and just wants to go and play video games until his friends call. Guess who's going to win out?

Something must have gone terribly awry at ye olde apple orchard. You see I have this can of Celsius fitness drink that was made from the harvest of the orchard and it tastes like the entire orchard was marinated in pesticides, or that it was stewing in napalm. Perhaps this is actually made from the soil of the orchard that old apples had rotted in to. No I think it's actually apples covered in napalm. You see this has only the faintest apple taste to it. I think that might even be a stretch. In a blind taste test I would never in a million years be able to pick out that this is supposed to be apple flavored. It literally tastes like poison, like I'm drinking some fluid that is supposed to go in a car, but someone has apple artificial sweetener to it. I can't believe I finished the can earlier. I just needed to keep up the energy so Mike and I could talk all night scheming of what our plan of attack would be if we ever made it on to the TV show "Take the Money and Run." I bet we could totally get away with it. We're crafty and being imprisoned for 48 hours doesn't scare us. We're strong willed. Oh yeah, we were also riding our bikes for several hours while we were discussing this. Now It's almost 4 hours later. I'm sore, I'm all hyped up, and I can still taste this poison on my tongue. For shame Celsius. You can do better than this.

I really should hate these drinks. They are loaded with sucralose and have a diety/chemical taste to them. Basically they are diet energy drinks that are supposed to help you burn more calories. I don't know if it's just the normal energy drink ingredients that help you burn calories because you are all hyped up, or if there is something else involved. With all of that being said, I somehow don't hate them. There is something alluring about these drinks. This one in particular is kind of decent. It taste like iced tea and energy drink mixed together with a whole bunch of fake sugar. If someone was used to diet drinks I think this would actually be pretty good to them. I can vouch for the fact that they do give you energy and a bit of the jitters as an added bonus.

Jay has been hyping this drink up to me for a while. I don't think it was this flavor, but he swears by it and bought a case for himself. For a guy who tries several new drinks a day to buy a whole case of one flavor means a lot.

Most people wouldn't dream of drinking something that is supposed to give you energy at 1:45 am. Luckily, I'm not most people. I am very much a night owl and usually get my best work done between the hours of 10pm and 4am. I've only had a few sips so far and I'm already feeling much more awake then I was 20 minutes ago as I was lugging my laundry up from the basement. So for functionality, this is awesome!

As far as taste goes, much like Jay's experience with the raspberry acai flavor, this leaves a lot to be desired. It has a strong green tea flavor, which is great for someone who loves green tea (I am not one of those people). The peach mango flavors are much more subtle, and are almost afterthoughts in each sip. And then of course you have the fake sugar (sucralose) which makes it all the more undesirable. It's cool to have a non-carbonated, non-soda like energy drink for a change. Unfortunately, I won't be running to the store and buying a case of this flavor.

The thing about caffeine is that it makes me go a mile-a-minute and makes my hands go even faster. My typing of this review could break land speed records but the efficiency in which I type would make poor Mavis Beacon throw up. I'm more concerned with slamming down keys with speed rather than spelling things correctly and hitting that blasted "Backspace" key just slows me down. No, I'm not going to leave you with some unintelligible mess because that would be reckless.

Years ago, I used to work at a local grocery store. I didn't hate it, but I hated the focus that management, or as some like to refer to as "the man", had. See, cashiers are the end of the shopping experience. It's my face that would win or break their shopping experience and it was my awesome attitude and demeanor that would win your heart forever. Since "the man" wanted me to be faster and talk less, I was more of a machine than a person. This I didn't like. I could cash and bag just as fast if I could talk but no. Punch in. Punch out. Speed not service. That really bothered me. Had I known about this product, I would have drunk one before every shift and set the place ablaze. I would have rung your entire order of 251 products before you could get them all out of the cart. I would intrude on your personal space and start taking things out of your cart. I would have no regard for your safety and put things like raw chicken in with your baby toys and put laundry detergent in with your apples and not care. It's all about speed, after all, right? Safety comes second to speed. I would sneak off right at the start of a shift, grab a glass, fill it with approximately 12 - 16 ounces of water, stir in this powder and knock a shift out.

I didn't hate the flavor. It wasn't any different than the other Celsius flavors so if you love them, you've got another one that you can fit in any drawer you can throw at it. If you haven't had any Celsius drinks, they're a little bitey but that's the sucralose. Flavor-wise they're on par with most diet drinks, which is good because you can't taste that you're basically drinking straight caffeine. You could taste the berry and if I had one complaint, it would be that it didn't really mix well. It's not old stock and it clumped a little bit, but it didn't really taste any different when I was drinking it.

So if you are in the business where you've got to do repetitious tasks and you don't have to be terribly precise, this could be the product for you. My hands are going to cramp up and my keyboard is going to start smoking any minute.

Some drinks have a special purpose and when reviewing those drinks it's hard to decide what is more important flavor or functionality. The Celsius drinks score great in the realm of functionality. I can't say whether or not it burns the calories on it's own, but it definitely gives you more energy to exercise. When I drink one of these before jumping on my bike I end up riding way longer than I normally would.

On the side of flavor they sometimes leave something to be desired. That is because of their good friend sucralose. The sweetener that tastes sweet in all the wrong ways. I wish they would just switch over to stevia. If you're not going with real sugar stevia is the way to go in my book.

This is the best tasting Celsius I've had thus far. I think that's because it's a tea and not a "soda." It still has the sucralose taste, but it's masked a bit by the tea. It basically tastes like a diet raspberry tea. I don't taste the acai at all, but really who needs it when you have raspberry in the mix?

I've been inside for far to long today. This can is now empty so I'm going to go jump on my bike and ride around the city for a while. Try not to hit me.

So far this has been my least favorite of the Celsius line. The sucralose in this is just overpowering. It somehow tastes like a diet ginger drink with some diet berry flavoring added to it. If you're used to the diet taste it's probably tastes fine to you. I didn't really enjoy it at all. I will still give this a three-bottle rating though as it gave me all the energy I needed to exercise. So much in fact that Mike and I rode our bikes for nearly 30 miles last night and I didn't feel exhausted at all. Hopefully it also actually burned off those extra calories like it promised to as well.

I opened up the paper today and this is what the headline read: "Thirsty Dudes Makes Reviewers Fat." Print doesn't lie my friends. I can't speak for Thirsty Neuls, but I know Mike and I have each put on weight since we started this website. How could we not? Do you know how much our sugar consumption has increased it's ridiculous. At this pace we'll be starring in the next installment of the Big Mamma's House franchise (for the record I've never see any of those movies). Instead of cutting down on the amount of drinks I imbibe for the sake of Thirsty Dudes, I've cut down the rest of my diet. Also, since the weather is nice I've been exercising a lot more. Specifically I've been riding my bike a decent amount every day.

We had received these "Ultimate Fitness Partner" drinks a couple of months ago, so I figured I'd review the rest of them as I try to lose some weight. The other ones I've had haven't been too bad, but like most things in a concentrated form this tasted like poison. It's as if someone grabbed a bottle of booze to spike the punch at a high school dance, but instead of grabbing the bottle with three X's on it, they accidentally grabbed the bottle with three skull and crossbones on it. Has there ever been punch at dances since the 60's?

So this may taste like Poison Punch (I think that was the name of Mike's band when he was in junior high) it did seem to have the desired effect. I can't confirm that I burned more calories, but it certainly gave me more energy while I was out riding. I was exhausted when I went out, but about 10 minutes into my ride the drink kicked in and I rode for way longer than I expected.

For flavor I would have given this drink a negative 5, but for it's functionality I will give it a 3. I really need to stay away from "shot" drinks.

Wooooo.....mistakes. Look. I am not responsible for myself. Here's the new deal. No, not Teddy Roosevelt's "New Deal", but my house's new deal. Monday and Tuesday I stay home and watch Max, my little dude. I have this thing where I work too hard and don't make time to eat. I did eat a yogurt at about 11 but that's it. Now it's 3:30 and my stomach is aching for nutrition, but who cares because Max is sleeping and I can finally lay down some code. So I'm working hard, got thirsty about a half hour ago and decided, yeah, Celsius.

I weigh 150 pounds. I don't eat terribly well, but I don't eat a lot so it all balances out. Celsius would aid me in losing more weight, even though all I'm doing is running Max up and down the stairs only to find out that he was going to wait until I have his diaper off to pee. Jerk. That tiny jerk. So I drink it and it's something. It's diet-y, and even though there is some element of a fruit flavor, there is this diet, burning undertone, and it kicks in fast. You see, they replaced the calories with caffeine is bugging me out, much like John Leguizamo in "House of Buggin'". My hands are shaking and my torso feel hot, like it is summertime and I'm wearing a vest like a stupid idiot.

All that being said, I guess it's doing what it's supposed to. I'm not working out, per-se, but I am typing a mile a minute and I've been doing stairs like it was that strange time in your high school gym class and you did step aerobics like a bunch of girls. Yeah, I said it. Girls do step aerobics. Men know that they have stairs at home that women, ironically, hate going up and down.

As far as I'm concerned as of today winter is finally over in Buffalo. It was 50 degrees and sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. To celebrate I went on my first decent bike ride of the year. I was planning on just doing a little ride, but every time I reached a destination I decided to keep going. By the time I had listened to Bowie's Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane was coming to an end 14 miles had passed and I was at my front door. From here on out I will solely use David Bowie albums to measure distance. It's the new science. Can you feel it on the horizon?

Before I left on this little adventure I decided it was as good a time as any to try out a Celsius drink aka "Your ultimate fitness partner." It's a mostly natural drink that promises to burn calories, reduce body fat, build lean muscle and give you lasting energy. By the end of my ride I was toned and semi-ripped like Michelangelo's sculpture of David. I'm talking like busting out of my shirt muscular. I'm a scientist, so I cannot tell a lie. That's part of the scientific oath right? I know I had you all convinced that I now look like Mr. Universe era Arnold Schwarzenegger, but truth be told I still look like a semi-dumpy 30 year old from Buffalo. I did have a decent amount of energy on the ride, and I feel way better than I expected to after not really riding in the past 5-6 months (yes our stupid winter can really last that long). So the drink has that going for it.

As for the flavor of it, when I took my first sip I was shocked at how good of a ginger ale taste it had. Within half a second I changed my mind as the diet hell of sucralose set in. Bear in mind that I have no tongue for diet drinks. I know there is a whole world of people out there that don't mind them. If you are one of those people and you're trying to lose weight, or put on some muscle, give this a chance. I think you will be pleasantly pleased with this ginger ale.