Chubby - 5 Reviews

Finally. My last bottle of Chubby. I bought this in the early stages of Thirsty Dudes and it has just been sitting on different shelves awaiting my acceptance. After that cream soda...ugh...I've been dreading this day. Was it as bad as I thought? No but not by much. It tastes more like carbonated bubble gum cake or ice cream than actual gum.

It's not too sweet which is a godsend otherwise I would have thrown this little number into the street with complete disregard to things like decency, etiquette, manners, and other people. It sucks, but it sucks a lot less that I was worried about.

This little guy has been staring me in the eye every time I open my cupboard for about a year now. It's like he's just been daring me to taste his awfulness. I don't even remember where he came from, Mike probably…€¦the bastard. I'd like to imagine that he was summoned forth like some sort of drink demon to ruin my day. You may say, “Hey it's just soda pop in a cute little bottle.” If you utter those words to me I will tell you that A. Cream soda should not be green. B. No soda should be green. It just means that added food coloring to make it wacky. C. Soda that comes in such a small container can be nothing but overly sweetened to the point where It will instantly erode your teeth and give you a terrible stomach ache.

I'm sick of looking at this. I'm sick of being afraid. Today I face my fears and try the dreaded “Chubby” (phrasing).

Oh my god it may be worse than expected. I opened up the bottle and it smelled like a nice pleasant cream soda. I thought to myself, “Hey maybe this actually won't be so bad. Maybe you've just been paranoid.” Then I took a sip and realized the demon had tricked me into taking a large gulp of his poison. It tastes solely like sweetener, with the faintest, faintest hint of vanilla. It has sugar and/or glucose fructose plus sucralose. You can taste it all battling out inside of your mouth, and no matter who the victor is it will not be your taste buds. Damn you Chubby!

Chubby. Previously you have ducked pretty hard. I'm not going to lie. You sucked. It's not my place to hold back my punches. Pineapple, or Pineapple Sunshine, a delightful term that inspires me to do something. Oh, I suppose you want to know what that something is, right? I'll tell you. Every morning, I would like to have some pineapple. An expensive, non-seasonal delight that probably wouldn't last one week so I will quit before it even starts.

Chubby, a hilarious term for a dong, you have something left after this pop. It's not terrible. It's not the best I've had, but I never expected it to be e as alright as it was. It tasted like good pineapple candy. It wasn't syrupy and wasn't too sweet. It was also like $0.50

Absolutely gross. It smells like cream soda but tastes like cream soda soap. Gross. I shared half the 8.5 bottle and dumped the rest. Another waste of thirty-three cents. Can't wait for the finale....pineapple.

This, I can say with almost 100% certainty, is low rent pop. It's got real sugar in it, but that doesn't save it at all. Maybe because it's fruit punch/tutti frutti is because it had the...tinge...to it, but it wasn't great. It just taste of lower quality. It has a very sweet, fruity smell, and it tastes sweet and fruity, too, but still...something is off.

Look, 3 for $1 is not meant to surprise and I am not surprised, but who knows. There are some gems out there and this is not one of them. Sorry Chubby and sorry to myself for taking advantage of the 3 for $1 deal. Congrats to you, the public, for getting to enjoy/endure two more reviews.