Cintron - 29 Reviews

Don't tell Jay, but I'm just drinking this now. It's been over a year since we've had it and I've been saving it for, well, now I guess. Was it worth it? Not really. No. It's not bad but I wanted this to blow my socks off. I've got this strange idea of what hibiscus should taste like and it rarely does. I've had a couple drinks that are absolutely stellar but I really think that I, me, myself, know what hibiscus really is supposed to taste like.

That aside, here is this drink. For those that know what things are supposed to taste like, this is a good drink. It's right on the fence between an iced tea and a juice. It's not bad at all. We've got hibiscus and then a strawberry aftertaste and then a moderately sweetened black tea sitting in the middle like the cream in an Oreo. I would love to have a strawberry hibiscus Oreos. I'm going to imagine that as I take my final sip of this long awaited bottle of iced tea. Sorry it's taken me so long, Jay.

All morning for no reason in particular we were talking about The Chapelle Show and how great it was. It seriously came out of nowhere and we talked about it for an hour. It was a wonderful three seasons that ended too soon.

I knew I had some "purple drink" down in my pile so I picked it out, refrigerated it, and here we are. I know the "purple drink" he's referring to and that is not great. It's like that age-old discussion that you have with friends about if Skittles taste different because it's like 49% water, 50% sugar, and 1% flavoring. I never, not even as a kid, like "_________ Flavored Drink" because it's a bad imitation of an imitation. This drink is only one tier deep so it's closer to what an actual grape tastes like but still, not what grapes taste like. It sweet, it's juice, it's purple. That seems to be all it takes to pass the grape exam. This isn't terrible, though. It's absolutely drinkable and after a nice long lunch walk with "work dudes," it's just what I needed.

I don't know what "ade" is. I'm no dummy but I assume that "lemons" need to be involved. Lemon"ade" lime"ade". I guess that limes could be involved, too. Ade must mean something else. Is "ade" just another word for juice? I mean lemonade is really nothing other than lemon juice with sugar in it. I guess I just cracked the code. Problem solved. Plus one for me. Minus one for, oh I don't know, racism.

For a juice, or newly discovered "ade", this is great. I have eaten papaya but rarely. I have drunk far more papaya related drinks that I have even touched real papaya. This is not due to me being unworldly; it's just that I don't often fondle fruits I'm not going to buy. It was very fruity, though. There is apple juice in there, but who cares. You can't have a papaya puree ade because that would just be a puree which would be a different animal all together. It wasn't too sweet and defiantly left me wanting more. Even though I have an empty bottle next to me, I still want to open it and hope that I can get some residual drips. I might have already tried that once or twice so I doubt that the third time will be the charm.

This drink was a castaway in the sea of beverages that flows in and out of the homes of the Thirsty Dudes. We've reviewed 25 different drinks from Cintron, and I'm pretty sure this is the last one left. When Derek left to move back to Portland last week Mike and I raided his cupboards and stole all of the drinks that he wasn't going to be able to take with him. I personally expected it to be the lowest of the low like Mike and I have sitting around, the things we are just dreading writing reviews for. As it turns out there were quite a few gems in there, this being one of them.

For such an unusual flavor for iced tea, it doesn't seem that odd when you drink it. Sure orange has been in hot tea for eons (literally eons, are you calling me a liar?) but how often do you see it in an iced variety. I have seen possible 2 or 3 companies that have it in their product line. Raspberry? That's old news. Combine the two and you have something new and exciting that doesn't taste too extreme. Fill up a glass for a friend and dollars to donuts they wouldn't even ask about the flavor, yet when you know the flavor you detect a subtle orange flavor hidden in an otherwise ordinary raspberry tea. It's great, and I'm glad we got to potentially close out this company with yet another great review.

Lemons are so social. They are the team players of Fruitland. They'll go anywhere and do anything. What drink line doesn't have a lemon flavored drink, or at least lemon as an additive? I don't hate lemons. Unless it's lemonade, there is a different lemon taste. You only get the sting on lemonade. I think that lemonade is a lemon's pet project. That's where they have their best foot forward.

Drinks like this is where the blue-collar lemons go. It's not bad. They're there. You can taste them. They're not in their finest state, but they're there. It's a black tea with lemon in it. Simple. I'm not offended by the corn syrup as this is right on par with "the rival" tallboy. You know the one.

This is fine. Dandy even. Lemons, keep up the good work. Sure, for some reason Jay doesn't like you, but he's strange. He's got Spice Girls and Bauhaus in his music collection. Lemons are fine, Jay.

You know what, Mr. Waitress; I'm sick and tired of this. I come here day after day and I don't know why. You always get my order wrong, all of the wait staff has a terrible attitude and the pop is usually flat. I got one exceptional meal here and I won't give this place up because I feel that one day it will be that good again. It hasn't been. I've been keeping my mouth shut for months now but this is the last straw.

The only think I asked for is sweet tea and you only have diet. It's not awful, but it's half way to really diet tasting. To make matters worse, you only had enough for half a glass. Now what am I going to do with this. I just filled up on crackers and I am exceptionally thirsty. Mix it with something? What do you propose? Lemonade? Who do I look like, Arnold freakin' Palmer. Yeah, sure. Lemonade me up.

Oh, and another thing. I can't stand...when...the thing is...I...I...I'm sorry. I've had a rough day and all I wanted was a Black and Blue burger. When you brought me a bacon burger, it was half the straw that broke the camel's back. The half diet lemonade was now the savior because this isn't half bad. Sure, it's still a little diet, but the lemonade saves it. It tastes like "kid-made" lemonade. This might be some of the best diet half and half I've ever had.

You, my good sir, have done it. "Done what" you ask? You have roped me into coming here again and again now that you gave me this. It's redeeming. Please, sir. I just ask you one more simple thing. Do you have any more chocolate cream pie? I saw it on your specials board. You don't. Well, how about that. Let down again. You'd better have this concoction in here next time I come or I'm really going to make a stink!

Oh man. How am I going to do a 500 word essay on the Emancipation Proclamation in...oh jeez. Fourteen minutes. First thing's first, I need something to drink. This high school is strange. I don't know who is stocking this cooler, but there is no Pepsi or Gatorade or anything I've ever heard of before, just this Cintron stuff. Toronja? I don't know what that is but I do enjoy a good iced tea.

Alright, pen to paper. Let's do this. Oh, this tea is good. It's lightly citrus'd but it is just sweetened tea. What?! Ten minutes? I've only put my name on this piece of paper. Ahhh! Alright, one more sip and I'm cracking down on this paper. This is good tea, man. It's very clean tasting. Not too sweet like a southern style sweet tea but it's got the same ingredients. Eight minutes?! Alright, alright. Let's start.

Emancipation Proclamation, by Mitch Fandis.
Slavery is bad. The president, Abraham Lincoln did not like it. He wanted slavery to be abolished. Not everyone hated slavery, though. The south enjoyed slavery. They used slaves on their plantations. Cider House Rules was a movie about slavery.

There. That's about...less than 50 words? Oh man. I don't know what else to say about it. I can re-write this, double space it, and write larger. That will get me to a whole page. Ahh, the tricks of a tenth grader.

I don't know anything about anything. I always assumed that anything mojito was mint. I don't know the historical travels of the word, the Latin meaning. I just assumed that it was always mint and rum or gin or something. Vodka? I don't know anything. This might be a poor representation of a mojito in regards to it supposedly being mint and Cintron just forgetting the mint. I will tell you, though. Lemon and lime in a black tea make one fantastic Mènage à trois. I don't mean that in a sexual fashion because if there is ever a day where black tea, or just leaves, lemons, and lives are rocking the sheets, I hope to be either far from dead or below them to catch whatever comes out. Maybe that's how this was made. Maybe I have lost my mind this Christmas break since I just said that. What if I got some sort of brain damage for Christmas? Ugh, worse than socks and worse than underwear. This drink is no mint, all real lemon and lime mixed with a great sweetened tea. All natural. No grossness.

I'm going to cut this while I am at, what I hope, is my lowest point. Please...sitting underneath fruits and leaves having sex. Disgusting.

New Review:
Since we have given such good marks to all of their other products, Cintron sent us another bottle of this and asked us if we'd try again. I had no problem with it, especially since Derek said he actually liked this one. The company sent it and it's been sitting on my shelf for a month or two.

I finally got around to trying it today, and I don't know what my problem was before. Sure it's not the greatest tasting thing in the world, but neither are any energy shots. Maybe I got a bad one before, who knows. All I can say now is that it tastes like diet cranberry juice concentrate with energy drink junk in it. I wouldn't drink huge glasses of it, but you're not meant to. It tastes more like diet cranberries than it does energy garbage, and that is all you can really ask for. I'm bumping you from a 1 to a 3 Cranberry Splash. I hope you're happy with your new home.


Old Review:
Cintron knows how to make a tasty energy drink. They have even managed to make some quality energy shots, which are by definition disgusting. Unfortunately with this offering they have fallen short. The bitterness of the cranberry flavor does not help the already gross energy shot flavor. Instead of masking the grossness, it possibly makes it worse. The sucralose used to sweeten it makes it taste like diet toxic waste. I'm sorry Cintron. I really wish we could have given you all top marks, but this is probably the worst energy shot I've ever tasted. So dear readers you should just pick up their other flavors. They are a company that deserves to be able to shine.

The past couple of days have really been kicking my keister. Due to the holiday, and general gluttony, I've been eating way too much food. That coupled with the fact that it's dark by 6pm has caused me to get sleepy way early. Yesterday I took a step towards being the old man that I've been striving to become by taking a nap. Today I had too much stuff to do, so I partook in this little treat.

Does it taste like mango? Not really. Does it taste like a citrus fruit punch? You betcha. It has a slight chemical/candy energy drink taste, but for the most part it tastes like a citrus juice. I really wish stores around here sold this line of Cintron energy drinks, because I have yet to have one that I dislike and for some unscientific reason (very unlike us Thirsty Dudes) I don't feel as bad when I drink one of these. Even though they aren't made with real fruit juice, they sure taste like they are, and I will let me mind continue to pretend that they are.

Let's play a little game called taste the flavor. You, the contestant, are put into a dark theatre to enjoy a movie. You are then handed a contraband beverage that your ladyfriend has snuck into the theatre for you. The movie is pretty dark (and completely brutal) so you can't see the label of the drink to know the flavor. Can you guess the flavor in three tries?

On the first sip you discern that it is not quite a juice and that it must be some kind of "ade" or a fruit drink of some kind. It's thinner and sweeter than a juice would be. Since you are an intelligent human being who is familiar with the Cintron line, you know that from the bottle shape this must certainly be an ade. Now you're a little confused. It's a strong fruity flavor is it peach? ***BUZZ*** Nope, your first guess is wrong. Well it does taste more tropical. It's certainly not guava, but it's something along those lines. Suddenly your brain moves to thoughts of stringy fruit. Of course. How could you not have gotten it on the first guess? It's most certainly Cintron's mango ade. Now that you know what it is you can't believe you would have thought it was anything else. It's so obviously the sweet, sweet juice of the mango without all of the sticky, stringy mess. Now sit back and enjoy your film, and try not to drink it all too quickly. You don't want to have to get up to go to the toity and miss a crucial plot point.

Do you think that Southerners get angry when they see people selling sweet tea in the North? Do people from Philly hate hearing about companies coming out with "cheese steak" stuff like pizzas and Hot Pockets? I know that when I'm not in Buffalo, I won't touch "Buffalo Wings" because I know they're going to suck big time. I lived about five hour north of Buffalo and the "Buffalo" wings were some of the worst wings I've ever had; well that and all of Buffalo Wild Wing's consistently.

Back to my original point. Do Southern people get upset when they see "sweet tea" drinks that their mama didn't make and think to themselves, "These idiots don't know the half of what sweet tea is." I always find it a bit audacious when companies do that because I've had authentic Southern sweet tea and I know that 90% of the "sweet tea" that's out there is just improperly sweetened junk tea.

Although this Cintron sweet tea isn't really "sweet tea" per se, it's not a bad beverage. There's no sting and it's sweet, but not sweet tea sweet, so if you just want a sweetened tea, you've almost got it. If they would have used cane sugar and not corn syrup, they would have been closer, but aside from Xing, companies who make tallboys don't really do it for quality. I know Cintron does make a quality line of tea in glass bottles so I'm letting them slide with this entry-level stuff. It's for the layman. I get it. You cover all gamuts.

Might want to just change the title to something like "sweetened tea" and release that or else you're going to get treated like Chevy Chase did in Fletch Lives where he was in the South. Poorly.

I was going to write a witty post involving Ghostbusters and tie it into the drink because Azul is very close to Zuul. But then two things happened: 1. I got really tired and 2. This drink wasn't that good. This is a shame because the other Tropical Azul drinks we've had so far by Cintron have been delicious, as have their energy shots. Unfortunately not this one. It's pretty bad when a drink looks like mouthwash and after you drink it, you wish it would have tasted more like mouthwash because then it would have tasted better. It did give me energy so I'll give it that much. Sorry Cintron, I guess you can't win them all!

Margaret, I've grown tired of lemonade! I know we're in our twilight years and that we moved down to Florida where is perpetually sunny and way too hot, but there has to be other ways to beat the heat. For the past eight months that we've been here, you're been pouring the stuff down my throat on a daily basis. I know you've tried to spice it up by switching brands, but after awhile a tongue can only take so much lemon. It's gotten to the point where I feel the same about you bringing me out a glass of lemonade as I do with taking my pills. Margaret, don't bring up those pills, I'm trying to keep this conversation G rated.

Yes I know that nothing beats the heat like a Slurpie, but at my age can I really afford to drink that much sugar on a daily basis? You'd be mistaking me for Wilford Brimley in no time. Aren't there any other "ades" out there? I had some orangeade before, but that was just gross sugar water. If it was made with real oranges then I could see it being good. Does that exist Margaret? Not that you know of, huh? Now Margaret why would you say such a thing as "It's good we live in such a Latin part of the country"? Are you turning out to be racist after all these years? I thought I knew you. Oh you meant it because that way more stores would carry Cintron and they make a guava ade. Now that sounds delicious, but I think that may still be racist somehow. Now this guava ade, it's not just sugar water is it? I want it to taste like lemonade, but with guava replacing the lemon flavor. I also want it sweet, but as I said not overly sugary. Is that what it's like? Well I'm glad it's exactly what I wanted. Now let's take our Rascals down to the corner store and pick a few up. Try not to give any Puerto Ricans the stink eye. I've got my eye on you, you hate monger.

If Dora the Explorer has taught me one thing, it's that "azul" means "blue". Since I took four years of Spanish, two in high school and two in college, I already knew that, so that loud brat actually taught me nothing.

This drink is certainly blue and certainly tastes tropical. Check and check. Two things that are not lies right off the bat. Good start, Cintron. Then I took a sip and there was another check; an energy drink that was not at all disgusting. It does taste "tropical" but I can't exactly pinpoint actual flavors. I'm going to say pineapple might be in there, followed by some leis and also a hula skirt and a copy of Dog the Bounty Hunter: Best of Seasons 1, 2 and 3 on DVD all liquefied into a can.

I don't drink a lot of energy drinks but I've been feeling my body crash at like six almost every day so today I felt like I needed it. If all energy drinks were this good or if this was sold by me, I would turn into one of those people that can drink them and get no boost, like those jerkwads who take so much ibuprofen that when they ask you for it and you say "How many do you want? Two?" they respond with a scoff and a number higher than five. You're a drug addict and you're also pathetic. Deal with the pain and earn your tolerance back. Stop taking medicine for everything. Pilgrims never had medicine and they turned out fine. I bet pilgrims would have loved this drink though.

I have more in the can downstairs. I hope those dogs didn't knock it off the table and are getting speed boosts.

You'd think at 3:30am I should be reviewing one of the many relaxation drinks in my queue. Nope, not tonight. I have a lot of work to do in the next 36 hours so I'm going to power through the night at work. In order to do this, I need energy obviously. That's where this wonderful little bottle comes in. I went with a Cintron energy shot tonight because they have a good track record of making delicious drinks. This isn't ground breaking, but it's definitely good as far as energy shots go. The mango flavor is nice, but the citrus mixed with the energy flavor leaves a bad aftertaste. Luckily the bottle is all gone now and I'm already feeling more energized. Back to work I go!

Today a slew of us went up to Letchworth State Park to enjoy yet another gorgeous day. We enjoyed the sights, sounds, and smells of everything nature. In addition, there was also a craft show, which I didn't give two rips about until Jay freaked out because some dude from his past was selling homemade root beer, sarsaparilla, birch beer, and (the legal equivalent of) Cheerwine. Also, I got a blackened chicken po-boy that was pretty darn outstanding.

On our way to "the Grand Canyon of the East" and some waterfalls, I saw the following automobile:

• 1986 Bertone


• Mid-90's Miata


• Glistening black Porsche Cayman


• Bentley Continental


• Triumph Spitfire Mark IV


• A new, brown Mercedes E-class coupe, which couldn't have been owned by a nicer man.

Nice, right? Yeah. You know that's night. Can you tell where my priorities are? I just told you that I went to a state park and told you about cars that I saw? I've got my interests and you've got yours. I love cars. I would love to do something with cars later in my life because no way do I see myself doing web development until the day I die.

So I did not drink a whole lot when I was there. I had a small, twenty-pound weight strapped to the front of me in the shape of a small boy and that didn't make matters any better. After spending all day there and only sippin' on Jay's drinks that came in a refillable, tin can, I didn't have much. Seriously, every drinking fountain gave me one-third the water I so desperately desired. When I got home, it was an issue of quantity so I grabbed a tallboy, threw it in the fridge, waited an hour, and then grabbed it and went.

I made the right decision. This is a good green tea and honey iced tea. Like many other drinks like this that don't need to be named, you lose quite a bit of the green tea, but there is a really good honey taste to this drink. Cintron also performed some magic and managed to keep the calories down to a respectful amount. Drinking this whole can, which I am not far from doing, would rack up only 210 calories and although that is a lot, 23.5 ounces is also a lot. It's not like I didn't work it off at the park, so I'm fine with my decisions.

From the taste of this I would suspect that Tropical Azul is some sort of blue sugar candy. Perhaps is a blue off brand Lick-a-Made or Pixie Stick. Cintron has taken this beloved treat and somehow removed all of the sugar. You might think that you would just have an empty plate after that because it just looks like a pile of blue sugar, but if it were that simple my friend. Cintron developed the science for their diabetic friends and they have used it and used it well. Due to poor candy sales last quarter, they infused this treat into an energy drink. What was created is what is before me now. It tastes like blue candy and it tastes like an energy drink. It also tastes like a diet energy drink that doesn't taste like death. So ride the blue wave my friend. Ride it to lower blood sugar and a thinner waist.

Cintron's canned teas and juices are fairly average. They taste like most other tallboy drinks. Those are what I first came across in the stores and I had written them off as just another cheap tea company. Then their glass bottle teas and energy drinks came into my life, and I can tell you for certain that these categories are where the company really shines.

I appreciate an iced tea that you can tell from the first sip that it is made with real brewed tea. Especially green tea. Junk iced green tea has become too commonplace. I really have no need for it in my life. I don't care if it's cheaper. Give me a nice brewed green tea and I will be a happy camper. That is if you give it to me when we're out in the woods and I'm setting up a tent. Well as long as the tent is easy to set up. Then I may be an annoyed camper with happy taste buds. Cintron uses a good quality brewed green tea. In this flavor the peach and mango taste like you're eating the actual fruit. They blend well with the tea. The use of cane sugar is also noticeable in the taste. I only wish their tall boys tastes like this because sometimes I want to be a glutton, but a glutton for high quality tea.

I didn't realize until today that there is no direct route from my new apartment to downtown via bike. I should have figured that out before I had 20 minutes to reach my destination. I rode fast and I rode hard, and I was only one minute late. Not too shabby, but exhausting. I'm glad I brought a drink with me, specifically a drink this large.

It has a decent tea taste with a lot of sugar (hey it's sweet tea it's supposed to have copious amounts of sugar, if you have a problem with us then drink something unsweetened). I was actually shocked when I saw it was sweetened with HFCS. It doesn't taste like it, nor does it have the consistency. It's not the best sweet tea I've ever had, but for a drink that comes in a tall boy it's pretty darn good.