Havana - 2 Reviews

The coffee machine at your office has been on the fritz all week, which means that you have had to bring your own caffeinated beverage into work. The thing is that today your alarm didn't go off for some reason. Luckily your internal clock woke you up, but with only 20 minutes to get to the office. So it was get up, brush your teeth, drag a comb through your hair, put on a suit and you're out the door. You didn't even have time to stop at a gas station for the sludge that they deem fit to call coffee. As a result of all of this you have been a wreck all day. You're sluggish and you can't concentrate because you haven't eaten since you grabbed Taco Bell on the way home from work the day before. You're a mess.

You know it's not something that any human should do, but you still go into the break room and look for some food to steal out of the communal fridge. Sure, it's not the most moral thing to do, but the GM is coming in shortly and if she sees you like this, it probably wouldn't bode well for your career. The fridge is full of Tupperware containers full of moldy leftovers. Doesn't anyone ever clean this thing out? Things are looking grim. You're about to give up when you move a container of soup that is dated seven months ago and behind it is this bottle of Havana diet vanilla cappuccino. You find yourself thinking that you should probably rethink your stance on the existence of god as you look around and grab the bottle. You scurry away to your cubicle and crack the seal. After a gulp you think that it isn't half bad. Sure the milk to coffee ratio seems about even, which is more than you usually like, but it has a nice vanilla flavor to it, so you feel a little fancy. After that each sip gets harder and harder to get down. The taste of the Splenda is getting stronger by the second. Diet coffee; is there anything worse for someone who normally drinks it black? By the time you finished the bottle you're feeling more normal. You're stomach has a little something in it, and you've got a little caffeine buzz going on. The only downfall is you can taste the Splenda seeping out of your gums, and that is something you never want to experience again. What do you expect from a drink that was abandoned at least seven months ago?

I don't know where I got this. I know why I got it, though. Answer; because it was there. This is not a fantastic representation of mocha cappuccino. I promise to you that if you're looking for a "quality" drink, you won't find it constrained within the glass walls of this bottle. It's terrible fake tasting like they had some chocolate milk, cut it in half, poured bad instant, powder mocha cappuccino into to it, skipped all the "red tape" one would need to put out something legit and pushed it right to market. I probably got this on sale. The same people also make these chocolate milks that just tasted unpure.

Look. I enjoy a nice, sweet garbage drink. Give me a Nesquik in those gargantuan thirty-two ounce bottles and I will use all the strength inside of me to not Gregory House the whole thing. This is half that size and I'm going to probably have no choice but to dump half of that. Strong percentages. Weak drink. I don't know why a company called "North American Beverage" would market a drink called Havana. I do appreciate, slightly, that illustration of the most 80's bottle I've ever seen. It looks like it should be on the wall of a victim's house in Miami Vice. I felt like I should have been wearing a Panama hat and a Panama Jack shirt that I would have had to scour multiple Salvation Army's to find just to fully appreciate this drink. Since I'm wearing a fifteen-year-old hoodie that is ill fitting, this drink did not deliver.