Hung Fook Tong - 6 Reviews

Man while I'm sitting back relaxing drinking my juice I can only think about how the rest of the world is full of suckers. They are all drinking regular orange juice and here I am living like a king drinking mandarin juice, and it even has pulp. I swear in some parts of the world this really would make me royalty. Mandarin juice is just so superior. It has its own unique taste, which still clearly being part of the orange family. Jim, you haven't had much to say about his. Actually why are you making a giant pile of salt out here on the back deck. Oh, you're saving up so you have a surplus next winter because you just want to spread it over the driveway so you never have to shovel? Well, I'm not sure if that will work, but I like the way you think, and I give you points for ingenuity. Why don't you pull yourself up a hammock and grab a nice glass of mandarin juice and take in a slice of the good life. Oh man, Jim! You've covered in salt and a bunch of it got into the juice. This is why no one likes you Jim; you ruin even the simplest of things.

You're still drinking the juice? Did you see how much salt dissolved in there? You say it's not that bad? Give it here! Actually you're right, this is not nearly as salty as I would have expected, and it gives the juice a certain charm. Actually no, I was wrong. One or two sips was okay, but the more I drink the more I notice the salt and it's kind of ruining everything, much like yourself. I feel like I might try putting a dash of salt into my next carafe of mandarin juice, but anything more than a pinch is just too much. I can't make it even a third of the way through this glass. Jim, you're lucky I'm not the king I previously pretended to be or else it would be off with your head!

On a recent trip to the Asian market Mark decided to get a bunch of things he had never heard of before to expand his palate's horizons. He picked up some job's tears seeds, fragrant solomonseal rhizome, lily bulbs, lotus seeds, longan, gordon euryale seeds, and coastal glehnia root. He was so proud of his haul that Mike went right home and set out to make supper. That is where the troubles arose. No matter what he did with any of these ingredients the results were not very tasty. He tried to make tofu, pasta and even went as far as sprinkling them on toast. All were a no go.

It was in a moment of frustration that Mark decided to juice boil all of the ingredients together along with some rock sugar he had inexplicably laying around. He decided that a tea would be his last ditch effort. In the final moments of the game, he finally got his break. It tasted decent hot, but he decided to put it on ice and see what he had. Once cold his “tea” took on a new life. It was fairly sweet in the way that only rock sugar can make things. He's still convinced it's just rock candy ground up. It tastes about the same. Everything else just kind of blended together in a way that he could only racially describe as Asian. The flavor of this tea is just not naturally found in the Western world. It's hard to explain, but it tasted decent enough, so he drank it and was glad that his ingredients went to some productive use. It will be quite some time before Mark goes out and blindly buys unheard of ingredients again.

Is it possible to strain a liquid through a liquid? I suppose it would be. If you wanted to strain water through an oil, that would work. It's a matter of volume and separation. You may have to go through some sort of skimming process to take a layer off, but that works.

This drink, which sucks, tastes like you strained sweet tea through soup; iced tea through all the corn, peas, carrots, broth and the like. I gave this drink to our new employee slash my new coworker and she knocked it out of the park. I made her just smell it and she said that it smelled like water chestnuts and me, hating water chestnuts, am not too familiar with the scent. Number two ingredient after water? You guessed it, new girl: water chestnuts.
You're re-hired™. Take that, Donald Trump. I've coined my own phrase that people have been using for years and called it my own.

Hey Rog, I think you forgot something. No you definitely shut the stove off, and yes you remembered to feed the cats. What you forgot was to add the pears to this tea. I'm pretty sure you remembered to put everything else in, but I don't taste even a splash of pear in here. It's got that herbal, almost licorice, flavor that the wolfberry fruit, euphoria longan, coastal glehnia root and balloonflower root give it. I don't know why we put all of those things in an iced tea, but it does give it a different taste. It's also has that weird rock sugar sweetened flavor. I always thought that was an odd choice for a sweetener, to melt down rock candy. All of that stuff is there, but no pear whatsoever. You really must have forgotten to add it.

I know I'm not supposed to be drinking the product while working on the line, but hey I'm thirsty and I like to think I'm working quality control. Wait, why are you on the phone? You're seriously calling security on me? For drinking one bottle of tea in the 35 years I've worked here? You're a real jerk Rog. I hope your cats got annoyed at you always forgetting to feed them and they turned the stove back on and escaped out a window before burning your house down. That's what jerks like you deserve.

What can I say about the grosvenor momordica that hasn't been said a million times before? I mean it is the most common foodstuff on this planet we call Earth. I can't remember a day when I didn't wake up in the morning and pour myself a large bowl of grosvenor for breakfast. Well I must have been but a wee child the last time I went without it.

For those of you who are visiting from other planets or galaxies I will do my best to describe this most familiar of foods. I mean how does one describe something that is as common as water? It is a fruit that grows on a vine that, and it is said to be 300 times sweeter than sugar, but it is naturally low in calories. You may also know it by it's more commonplace name: monk fruit. When it's made into a drink like this one it is typically mixed in with some liquorice root. The result is a beverage that is fairly sweet, but tastes like a watered down throat coat tea. I can't believe I actually typed all of that out since you all obviously know exactly what it tastes like. I'm sure the mental image I painted left your mouth watering and you made your way to the pantry to prepare yourself a nice little snack that will give you the comfort of your childhood blankie.

We recently realized that a handful of our friends haven't really hung out in awhile. As a result Saturday afternoon was a dudes hang of gluttony. We started it off with the dirt mall aka flea market where we sifted through piles of people's garbage looking for a clock for Mike whilst eating soft pretzels, hot dogs, cinnamon rolls and a single cannoli. From there we went to look for a coat for Mike deep in the bowels of hell and come up empty handed. Then we went to another circle of hell that is more commonly known as Guitar Center so I could try out an amp that I thought (correctly) that I wanted. The important part came next. We hit up a few Asian markets for groceries and new drinks. I bought such a variety of weird tofu that I couldn't be happier. Our main market also got a new shipment of drinks and this was one of them.

I have no idea what “common selfheal fruit-spike drink” is, but it sounded more interesting than I could handle. As soon as we walked out I ripped this bad boy open and we all shared it. We all decided that it was okay, but that is had a decent licorice aftertaste, and I'm not talking about Twizzler. Along with never hearing of the fruit that is the namesake of this beverage it also contains grosvenor momordica fruit, that I'm sure 99.54% of American have never heard of as well. Along with that there are dates in here. When mixed together these ingredients have a taste that is something between a sweet tea and a flat herbal root beer (minus the wintergreen). At first I thought this was great, but with each sip my interest wanes. BY the end I really had lost all interest in it. From the name I'm assuming that there is some medicinal properties to this drink, but who knows since the label is in Chinese.

After our shopping spree we decided it was time for a yearly trip to the only sit down chain restaurant that is worth a damn: Chilis. Their real food is nothing to write home about, but they have incredible unsweetened blackberry and mango teas. Also the endless chips and salsa are enough for us to go gaga. You should have seen how many baskets of chips we housed. Mama would have been proud.