Karma Wellness Water - 8 Reviews

Blueberry lemonade. I've got to say, it's good. I like mixing it. I like shakin' it up. I like(d) drinkin' it up. That's all that you need from me? Wait wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut? You want a review? People still come to this site expecting reviews? I tell stories, man. Yesterday was the fourth of July and like ten people made a whirlpool in my cousin's pool. It was awesome. Is that what you want? I've got plenty of these. I've got plenty but I guess you don't want that. You want me to say things like, "This isn't gross. This actually tastes like blueberry lemonade. I've never had blueberry lemonade and I think it would be sourer but taste similar. It kind of tastes like if they made a blueberry lemonade Gatorade. Three thumbs up. Would drink again."

I thought you wanted more from me. I'm more than a great product reviewer. I've got skills and traits you don't even know about. We're growing apart. I think we need to see other people and I'm going to start with that chick with the cool boobs over there.

I enjoy the powder much more than the concentrate but this one didn't taste as much like Flintstone vitamins as I would have liked. It was not bad but it was just not what I thought. It was actually like a dark, sweet juice more than a water. I don't know what the line is between water and juice but if you gave this to one hundred people, I would say that everyone would call it a juice.

Karma is good at coming up with new flavors and this is good. It's not anything special. It's not a flavor that you haven't had before but they are always coming out with something new. This, if anything, is a nice, familiar juice that is low in calories and high in probiotics. That's a win, right? What more could you ask for? If you say anything you should not be so greedy. I already told you that Karma comes out with new stuff all the time. Jeez.

Without looking it up on the internet, someone tell me what percentage of American suffer from stomach/digestive issues. I'm not going to look it up but I'll throw a number out there. I'll say 72%. That's a lot of the population with problems, and those are problems that this beverage can help alleviate. This bottle is jam packed with probiotics, which are live bacteria and yeasts of the positive variety that do a bunch to make you feel better.

You grab this and think, “Oh good this is going to make my guts feel better.” Then you realize that it's an interactive drink and things are even better. You get to peel off the label from the top and then push all of the vitamins, minerals and probiotics that exist in powder form into the water waiting below. Then you shake it like a paint machine mixing up a gallon of paint that you bought to paint your fence, but it just sits there for far too long because you're procrastinating. Oh, is my real life seeping into this review? That will happen.

So this is fun, it is functional and on top of that it tastes good. I'm wary of apple cinnamon beverages that are not cider, because normally things just do not turn out the way you want them to. Karma has figured it out though. I don't know if it's because it stays in a powder form until right before you drink it, but this tastes so much like real cinnamon sprinkled onto dried apples that it's ridiculous. This is made with stevia as well as cane sugar, and I would have no idea that a zero calorie sweetener was in here if I hadn't read the label. It's mostly a light apple water with a heavy cinnamon overtone. It's great. I could see myself drinking this even if my guts didn't need the help that 72% of American need.

Tyler loved basketball. Basketball was his favorite sport. He liked the way the players dribbled up and down the court. He saw them just sweating on the court, everyone wearing shorts, light jerseys, and still needing sweatbands. Sweat everywhere. They were drinking so it's not like they were dehydrated or dehydrating. Maybe they needed something better, something with flavor, something with vitamins, something with minerals, something fun, something low in calories. He searched high and low in markets and stores and found the perfect drink. Karma Wellness Water, namely the pineapple coconut flavor.

He bought a case of the stuff and went to Madison Square Gardens where the Knicks were playing the Chicago Bulls. He saw that Spike Lee was outside and was going in. He talked to him for a couple minutes and convinced him to let him sit next to him right next to the bench so he could give players the drinks. Throughout the game, players would be benched and Tyler would hand the players drinks. He loved to watch the players poke the flavor into the drink and smile. Every time without fail they would do that. Sometimes they would look back and give Tyler a thumbs up. That made his day. When the game was over he shook Spike Lee's hand and thanked him. He was walking out and someone called his name. He turned around and it was Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippin! He didn't know what to think. He didn't know what to do. They told him that they liked the drinks. They liked that it was tropical and they could taste both he coconut and pineapple. It wasn't too sweet and was very refreshing. Then Michael Jordan reached in his pocket and handed him a season pass to Knicks games. He thought it was strange but it's more important that he liked basketball than the Bulls. He lived in New York. What was he going to do with a season pass to Chicago living in New York. He thanked Scottie and Michael and walked away after having the best night of his life. All thanks to Karma.

Medicine is no laughing matter. If you are sick, I suppose that you can laugh when you are stricken with illness and you can laugh that you have antibiotics and your disease will soon be no more. Anyhow, this whole medicine cabinet candy store scenario has gone on too long. People raiding their mommy and daddy's medicine cabinets and taking prescription pills is not a good life. You know that is no way to live your life, right? You know that the pills you took that were in an Oxycodone are actually just laxatives right and now you're going to have the toots. Medicine is not a joke and should not be taken unless prescribed to you via a doctor. Cool? Done.

If you feel the need to take vitamins, those you can almost go crazy with. Vitamins will make it so you don't need medicine if you do it well. Want to have fun taking vitamins? Try some of these Karma waters. The other ones are more juice than medicine. This one is more medicine and serious than the other ones, I've got to say. This was thicker, more opaque, tasted exactly like mango and orange would taste if mixed with vitamins for kids, and probably did the trick.

So seriously, stop it with all the pain medication abuse. Just quit your job at the plant. That will improve your life. Get a job doing something you like. If you can't do it, go back to school and go for it. We don't want anything to happen to you. If something happens to you via overdose on your grandma's old pain meds from her back surgery, it's on you, but I can't say I didn't tell you. Drink vitamins. Have a better life.

Karma was a stripper who was fantastic at her job but in need of a career change. She was great, though. She could take off her clothes faster than anyone else. That's what makes a good stripper, right? Who can take their clothes off faster? Isn't stripping a race? That's a sidebar. Anyhow, Karma loved fitness and when she wasn't at work, shakin' it, she was at the gym or jogging or eating healthy. She was the model of fitness. She was also attractive enough to be a model. She noticed when she was at the gym that people were just drinking water and she thought that something could be done about it.

So she grabbed some chewable vitamins and drink mix, put them in a little pouch, and started selling them to people at the gym as a type of water enhancer. You would get the hydration you needed from the water, the vitamins that would help you with the workin' outs, and the flavor to make it all go down easier. Francis Frankson was a budding investor who also worked at the same gym saw what Karma had come up with and thought that with some light tweaking, this could be a hit product.

Cut to three months later and the company Karma was born. Francis set Karma up with a bottler and a spring water supplier and found a company that would sell them the powder mix at wholesale and the kicker is that they partnered with a bottlecap maker who designed a cap that would store the mix. People all around would write Karma letters telling her that the Balance drink was a good tasting drink that tastes more juicy than Flinstone vitamin. Success! Karma was an entrepreneur and could leave her job at Bouncin' Booties.

Carmen hates to take his vitamins so his mom decided to do it the dumbest way possible; make a game out of it. Some parents say something like "You don't get any dessert if you don't take your vitamins." You could do the old fashioned "Go to your room until you're ready to take your vitamins." or something along those lines. It doesn't need to be punishment, either. It could just be something kids have to do. "Look kid. Do you want brittle bones, weak joints, or jaundice? You don't have to know what it is, just take your vitamins. Medicine has come a long way since I was a kid. I'd kill for medicine that tastes like slightly chalky candy. My brothers and I used to throw up when my parents gave us medicine so you take your candy medicine and shut up." That's informative.

Carmen's mom though, she hides vitamins in things. She essentially drugs her kids. I know that sounds bad, but you can't really think about it any better way. This time, she puts vitamins in her kids Kool-Ade and gives it to them with a straight face. No second thoughts. Just “Here's your "juice" kids.” To make it even worse, the kids love it and when they ask for more, she has to string the lie out because she's not going to give the kids more vitamin/juice mix and if she just makes them juice, they're know that it tastes differently.

A lady from the CPS came to inspect the home life of adopted Carmen and they asked how she gave her kids medicine. Carmen's mom didn't hesitate for a second. After tasting it, she saw why she did it. It tasted good. It tastes like a fruit juice and vitamins but the flavor is so good that you don't care at all that it might or might not have vitamins in it. The lady from CPS left leaving Carmen's mom with a warning that eventually she will have to stop doing this because all kids have to take some vitamins.

I have reached this conclusion from the name of this beverage; Karma. If I am to believe the nonsense that I just thought up the taste of this beverage is dependent on how well you have lived your life in regard to others. By this way of thinking I've just learned that I have had a very mediocre relationship with my fellow human beings. I haven't been terrible to them, but at the same time I have never done grand things for them either. If I ever want this to be a top-notch drink then I am going to have to start being a better human being. Damn.
The drink is along the same lines as the Activate line. It's a normal flavored beverage that has a packet of vitamins in the cap. Before you drink it you push down the to of the cap to release the vitamins into the drink. Then you shake it all up and take your maiden sip. I wish the base drink was actually a brewed green tea instead of just green tea leaf extract. That and the secondary sweetener of Stevia rebaudiana make the drink taste a little fake. If I had been a better person I have no doubt that it would have been brewed tea and just cane sugar. I can just imagine how much better the drink would be. It actually does taste like passionfruit, but the coldness of the Stevia kind of ruins it. It's basically a fresher version of a tea version of a Vitamin Water (that was a mouthful) that was unfortunately sweetened in a way that I'm not into. Guess I'm off to be a sweeter dude to the world. I really want better tasting drinks.