Master Cafe - 2 Reviews

Espresso. It's life super caffeinated coffee. Also, so that I may be the voice of all baristas, there is no "X" in "Espresso." Although it will allow you to go faster as in "express mode," it does not get its name from that. As a matter of fact, no one really knows the origin or definition of the word "Espresso." It was made up as soon as someone tasted the stuff. It was born from an accident, you know, like Silly Putty. Someone improperly trained worker at a coffee shop in the 1700's went to go make a coffee, put the ground up beans in, poured someone else a cup of coffee, forgot he had already put beans in, crammed more beans in, idiotically couldn't figure out why it was so hard to close the machine with the normal amount of ease, and made a double batch of coffee.

That drink, an incorrectly brewed cup of coffee, birthed the espresso and also birthed Master Cafe. You see, the worked, having sold a couple dozen cups of his new, super strong blend, declared himself "Master Cafe" because people wanted his drink. Eventually that worker moved on to leave the company and just make this coffee. He handed it down from generation to generation until today where it is the same blend just with more sugar. When you put coffee in cans, you put sugar on it. It's a rule. It is a stronger than coffee, coffee drink with enough sugar to make it so people that don't completely love the bitterness of coffee enjoy it.

I enjoyed this and I think it is a fine homage to that faithful although misinformed employee that simply forgot what he was doing and turned that mistake into an empire. Here's to another three centuries, Master Cafe.

I don't eat tiramisu because I'm not a big rummy. Yeah, those tasty ladyfingers are soaked in rum and you serve it to your kids. I don't mean to get preachy but that's bad parenting. Giving kids rum. Look, if you want to rub some on their baby gums so they can make it through the tough teething process that's your call. I didn't and wouldn't but that's a freebee if you want it. Tiramisu, though: rummy. This is a Taiwanese coffee drink that tastes, or is supposed to taste like that dessert delicacy but doesn't really. As a coffee drink it's fine but as a cake flavored coffee drink it's just not there. It smells like cake but doesn't really taste like it. Sitting here with the empty can net to me wafting the coffee scented cake towards my nostrils is a constant reminder that it could have been good. I'm about to throw this can across the room since it smells so good but is about half as good as it is leading me to believe it is. This indestructible can is filled with disappointment and hype. It's good, but a let down. I wanted cake and coffee for breakfast. I only got coffee and the sensation of someone eating cake next to me and not sharing.