Natrona Bottling Company - 4 Reviews

Whenever I come across a company that is making a spiced apple soda I just want to tell them they needn't bother. Such a thing already exists in a fairly perfect form and it is made by Reeds. Even though I am an authority on such things, the companies would never listen, and their output always leaves something to be desired.

Natrona Bottling Company through their hat in the ring, and the results of course could not match up. This is a spiced apple soda, but it doesn't have the classic cider flavor to it that I had expected. Actually it's more spice than apple that that is just plain unfortunate. I want a nice mouthful of sweet, sparkling apple juice/cider and instead my taste buds are overrun with cinnamon and nutmeg with every swig. I have to admit that the amount of swigs wasn't very high, because there was so much spice that it wasn't all that enjoyable. I will now refer you to the first paragraph I wrote. Needn't have bothered.

We made it. Never in our wildest dreams would we think that we would make it to two thousand reviews. Did you know that there were two thousand drinks out there that weren't alcoholic? You might have, but come on it's still impressive. In order to celebrate, we drank this Champayno and it wasn't bad. It tastes like a fine dry ginger ale. If I had to drink non-alcoholic champagne, and the sparkling fruit juice stuff wasn't available, or I was at a lawyers party for some reason, like I was trying to get on the board, or was dating one of the members of the boards' daughter and she brought me to the party, I could drink this and not look like so much of a child. Not overly sweet and different than most ginger ale you have had.

Anyhow, thank you for your support over these past two thousand plus reviews. We've got plenty more in store for you so keep tuned in.

I used to want to go to Jamaica. I think I was young and I actually don't really like Bob Marley. Yeah, yeah, I know. There is more to Jamaica than Bob Marley, but when you're sixteen, there isn't much that you know about foreign countries. If I was sixteen and was transported at the blink of an eye to Jamaica, I would have been lost. I don't know what I would have done. I would have had to get a job at sixteen and blend in. I'm not a tourist, I can tell you that right now. I don't like when people think that I am not from where I am. I often get mad when I think that people don't know that I'm from where I live, like I'm a student at the grocery store, buying Ramen to sustain myself when I actually own a house in the city that I shop in. Maybe that last one was just me, but you know where I'm coming from. I want to blend in. I want people to think that I'm one of them. As a white, sixteen year old is not something that is going to be easy.

First step, find the local watering hole and get a ginger beer. Yeah, that's how I'll do it. I'll start by drinking the hottest ginger beer they've got. I'm from Buffalo where everything is drenched in spicy sauce. I can handle it and that will earn the respect of the natives. I would go to the bartender and say, "I'll take Jamaica's Finest ginger beer, please." and the crowd would go silent awaiting my first sip of the dangerously spicy drink. I would take a sip and you could hear a pin drop while the verdict is being determined. "Very nice." I would say as the crowd exploded with happiness. They would then pick my chair up and carry me around the city because a little dude such as myself conquered such a spicy drink. When interviewed by the local Kingston Bee, I would give the review "It's spicy but sweet. It's got a nice, thorough bite. It is slightly less hot than Goya's ginger beer, but a solid ginger beer and a definite standby." The would print my article on the front page of the paper with an image of me surrounded by bottles of Jamaica's Finest which was donated to me by the Jamacian (Pennsylvania) Government. I am finally one of them. I made it. Success.

If Paula Deen called me up and said, "Mikey, I'm cordially invitin' myself to y'all's house this Thursday and y'all'r gonna make me supper." I would have no idea what to make. She's a world-renowned chef and I'm some jerk kid with a sweet/gross beard who drinks stuff. She's got to be expecting something good, and no, hot dogs are not good enough for Paula Deen. I'm not going to make anything she couldn't blow me out of the water with so I'm going to have to prepare something out of this world, like steak with macaroni and cheese inside of it with a side of macaroni and cheese with steak in it. She's probably never seen that and I would at least have the element of surprise on my side. Darn, she'll want another side because one side is simply not enough for a guest. What am I going to make? I've clearly got nothing in my shelves based on my theoretical main course and initial side. Apples? Sliced apples as a side? I can put some brown sugar on there. Done. That's got some color and sweetness to offset the salty, cheesy meal. I'll make regular corn, too, out of the bag, boiled. Why? Corn is a great compliment to any meal.

To wash it down, without a doubt, this mint julep pop. Sure, I could do sweet tea, but riddle me this, friends; do you think that I can serve her a sweet tea that she wouldn't scoff at? I know, she seems like the nicest woman ever on TV, but do you think that she got to the top of the charts by being nice? She's got some want and competition in that bubbly personality that would knock the toughest Ironman on his dumb feet. She'll probably sit down, eat my disgusting meal, and then try and wash it down with this minty drink and say, "You'all's know what you're doing with this meal." Know why? This minty pop will disguise the abomination that she just ingested and she'll forget all about it. It's real sugar and she'll like that and it says plantation so she'll forget about the wool I tried to pull over her eyes and talk about the South, which is all I wanted to do during this entire meal anyhow.

Mike: 1.
Paula Deen: 1,891,954.