Natrona Bottling Company PLantation Style Mint Julep

If Paula Deen called me up and said, "Mikey, I'm cordially invitin' myself to y'all's house this Thursday and y'all'r gonna make me supper." I would have no idea what to make. She's a world-renowned chef and I'm some jerk kid with a sweet/gross beard who drinks stuff. She's got to be expecting something good, and no, hot dogs are not good enough for Paula Deen. I'm not going to make anything she couldn't blow me out of the water with so I'm going to have to prepare something out of this world, like steak with macaroni and cheese inside of it with a side of macaroni and cheese with steak in it. She's probably never seen that and I would at least have the element of surprise on my side. Darn, she'll want another side because one side is simply not enough for a guest. What am I going to make? I've clearly got nothing in my shelves based on my theoretical main course and initial side. Apples? Sliced apples as a side? I can put some brown sugar on there. Done. That's got some color and sweetness to offset the salty, cheesy meal. I'll make regular corn, too, out of the bag, boiled. Why? Corn is a great compliment to any meal.

To wash it down, without a doubt, this mint julep pop. Sure, I could do sweet tea, but riddle me this, friends; do you think that I can serve her a sweet tea that she wouldn't scoff at? I know, she seems like the nicest woman ever on TV, but do you think that she got to the top of the charts by being nice? She's got some want and competition in that bubbly personality that would knock the toughest Ironman on his dumb feet. She'll probably sit down, eat my disgusting meal, and then try and wash it down with this minty drink and say, "You'all's know what you're doing with this meal." Know why? This minty pop will disguise the abomination that she just ingested and she'll forget all about it. It's real sugar and she'll like that and it says plantation so she'll forget about the wool I tried to pull over her eyes and talk about the South, which is all I wanted to do during this entire meal anyhow.

Mike: 1.
Paula Deen: 1,891,954.