Qizil Quyu - 3 Reviews

I don't know a thing about this beverage. The only words I can read on the label are “Fizzy Drink.” From the picture on the front I would assume that “Uzum” means grape, but when I tasted it I wasn't so sure. You see it tastes more like blueberries to me than grapes. I kind of get a little grape, but there's something in there that reminds me of blueberries. Dear folks of Turkey you make strange drinks that are strange, but decent. They are also almost candy like, but yet still like real fruit. I don't get it. I'm not sure I'm supposed to get it, and I'm okay with that. I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride. It's a tiny bottle, but it encapsulates a big flavor.

When things are in different languages, I no longer fear the contents of the container. Why? Because I drank that Korean "Essence of Chicken" drink that tasted like pee and I don't think that anything will be as bad as that. This little green gem is quite nice. Why? Well it's tarragon flavored. "Ewww. That's a spice or an herb and I don't want to drink something that's off a spice rack." Well that's a lame response. Open your mind up then travel to around Turkey where this drink was made, shell out like $2 or 1.57120 Azerbaijani New Manat and enjoy a nice, anise-like drink.

I, for one, enjoy anise. I can never have enough. Black licorice, those little red anise candies in the dark red wrapper, or black jellybeans and I'm set, dude. This drink can be added to the list. I liked it. If you've ever had Ouzon then you know what this is all about. This might be stronger, if you're an adult when it comes to your flavors, it's great.

I wonder where I can get it around here. I'm sure there is some dusty old Eastern European bodega somewhere around here that would have this. You know the one. It's the place with all sorts of unpronounceable cuts of meat and cured fish that you have never seen and everything has a light dusting of dust on it. You've never seen anyone in there but they have somehow been open for like fifty years. It's got to be a front, right? I mean, you can't stay in business legitimately. They're probably fighting hens in the stockroom for a cut of the profits.

I'm going to start putting tarragon in everything I make from now on. What a delicious start to my culinary career.

The fine folks of Azerbaijan have dreams, big dreams. In case you didn't know it Azerbaijan is a country in Eurasia that borders Armenia. If you didn't know that you certainly did not know of the countries collective love of all things bubblegum. The people of Azerbaijan dream of a world where all things have a bubblegum flavored equivalent: ice cream, steak, asparagus and even sugar. They have come close to their goal. In fact just recently that have perfected a bubblegum flavored pickle that I'm told will knock your socks off.

Now that their goal is nearly achieved they have decided to up the ante a bit. They now want different flavors mixed with the classic bubblegum flavor to give people options. You know that classic Azerbaijan saying, “Life is all about options. Without them people are no better than a tortoise.” Well they take that very serious, so their scientists have been hard at work at splicing flavors. So far they have perfected the coupling of bubblegum with mint, cantaloupe, cardamom and the often sought after artichoke. Rumors have it that recently the scientists have set their sights on the flavor of pear, you know apple's bastard cousin. I believe what I hold in my hand here is a concentrate of the pear bubblegum flavoring. I say that because the flavor is so strong and sweet that to think it was an actual beverage blows my mind grapes. I hadn't even twisted the cap off all the way before the entire room I was sitting in suddenly smelled incredibly strongly of pears. It is strange because once you get the cap off and smell the liquid directly it smells more of bubblegum than pear, but it's still detectable. The flavor is that of the strongest cola champagne I have ever tasted with slight undertones of pear. I guess it's true what people say that the people of Azerbaijan love their bubblegum flavor, but sometimes like a pinch of something else. Had I not known the history of this fine country I would have not expected this beverage to taste like this at all. I would have expected simply nothing but sparkling pear juice. That is why you must learn the history of the world, so that bubblegum flavored drinks don't sneak up on you.