Ralph & Charlie's - 8 Reviews

Brian, Dad is going to be so excited when he gets home. He works long hours at the insurance company and he's always telling mom how he needs a drink so we're going to make him something. Let's look around the house and see if we can't find some stuff to make for dad.

Well first things first, all drinks need some water so here is a little water. Oh, grab those green apples over there and we'll mush those and put the juice into the drink. What else do we have? Bananas? No, we don't have any bananas. Red apples? Nope. Man, mom needs to go grocery shopping. Kiwi? well we don't have many of them but we do have some. Smash them and put the juice in this cup. What else do we have? A pineapple? Brian, that's going to be hard to juice. Yes, they're juicy but we're going to need to cut this thing up and get to smashing. Hand me that knife. I know mom says not to play with knives but I'm cutting a pineapple. What part of that is considered playing? That's right. None of it. Alright. It's cut. Quick, it's five o'clock and dad is going to be home. Hand me that pear and those lemons. We've got to get to juicing.

Alright. We are all juiced by hand and we've got a nice cup of green juice. I don't know why it's green. Sure, green apples are green and pears are green but the juice isn't green. Maybe this is what happens when you combine all these fruits. Let's taste it. We've got a tall glass and dad would want us to share, right? What do you think? Yeah, Brian. You are right. It tastes like a less sour, green Freezepop. How did that happen? We put fresh fruit in there and it tastes slightly better than a cheap popsicle.

Do you think Dad is going to like it? What do you mean he's home? When did that happen? We didn't have time to clean. Oh, man. Dad is going to be ticked. Well we will give him this glass and we will clean up in the...oh...hey dad. We made this for you. Yeah, I know we made a bit of a mess but we wanted you to have something to drink when you get home. We'll clean up before mom gets home so you don't get in trouble. What? Mom is home now, too? When did you guys stop using the garage door and start acting so stealth? She's going to be angry at...oh...hey mom. Yeah, well we were making juice for dad and we thought that we would have more time. Yes. We'll clean it up. Yeah. No dessert. We get it. We're sorry.

You know I don't like bananas, right both Ralph and Charlie? You know I do not like them. I know this is turning out to look like a real "green eggs and ham" type thing but I mean it. I don't like it. I know I'm not alone in this. It's not just my average complaint about how pears are terrible. It's a lot less. I just don't like bananas. But, and this is a big but that even the late Sir Mix-A-Lot would approve of, this doesn't really taste like bananas. The best banana is a banana that doesn't taste like a banana. That's what I've only said one time ever in my life. This tastes like a thinner orange smoothie, carrot, and maybe a trace of banana. It's good but somehow doesn't seem to have any sort of nutritional value. I don't really know how that is possible. I guess that 2% fruit juice from concentrate can only go so far.

Sir Mix-a-Lot is not dead. May he live forever in both spirit and every single karaoke night I go to nationwide.

Sadly this is my last bottle of Ralph & Charlie's. When we received a shipment of juices that were nearly all carrot based I did not expect to be taken on the wild trip that is concluding today. Carrots are great, but drinking them does not sound like something I would ever look forward to. This company has come up with the wonderful mixtures of carrots and other fruits and vegetables that are always interesting and leave me wanting more.

The idea of mixing carrots and cranberries has never crossed my mind. Sure both are staples at Thanksgiving, but I don't think of them as a team. Never in a million years would I expect their combination to taste the way this juice does. It is very sweet, without crossing over the line of tooth decay. It's also very fruity, which is due to apple juice being the second ingredient, following water. This is essentially a cranapple juice with carrots mixed in to give it just enough of a unique flavor to make you sit back and savor each sip.

I find myself wondering how this drink would fare if it didn't have sugar added to it. Would it be even better, or is the sugar necessary to give the carrot juice the little push it needs to not overpower the rest of the flavors?

Okay, let's take the juice of a fruit that tastes like a tart insanely concentrated grape juice and mix it with the sour citrus juice of the grapefruit. That doesn't sound too appealing does it? In my mind I imagined some sort of dull pain from drinking this, like it would just overload my taste buds in all the wrong ways. I guess I'm lucky that I am an idiot, because in reality it is more than pleasant. Both of the flavors are those fruits are extremely present, but in a dulled down way. I would never describe this as neither tart nor sour. It's just a good, smooth juice. It's probably due to grape, chokeberry and apple juice being listed on the ingredient list above grapefruit and cranberry, or it could be that there has been sugar added. Either way it all blends together in just the right way that leaves me wanting more. I always go on and on about how juice shouldn't have sweeteners added to it, but in this case, I really think it made the drink. Sure it made it less healthy, but it made it way more enjoyable than the vision that danced on my brain's taste buds.

Think of every fruit you've ever eaten and then put it in a drink. Simple as that? No. I'm sure there are countless composition notebooks over at Ralph and Charlie's house filled with just the perfect ratio of all of them. Oh, you want a roll call? You got it, Chuck.

1. Banana
2. Orange
3. Apple
4. Lemon
5. Pineapple
6. Grape
7. Tangerine
8. Apricot
9. Peach
10. Passion Flower
11. Mango
12. Kiwi
13. Guava

Seriously. They're all in there. It's a great drink, too. It doesn't really have any star players which is a feat in itself. It's well sweetened and although I don't think I can drink any more, it's because it's a generous bottle, not because it's bad. It's pretty acidic but expected and welcomed. This is not a juice for wimps. If you want a serious juice, like juice with a tie on, this is for you. There is no messing around. Ralph and Charlie should be given gift cards to Jos. A. Bank since they are so fancy with their juices. Someone buy these guys a nice new pair of slacks because this just is oh so serious.

Are you an elderly rabbit? Do you have a sweet tooth, or two sweet front teeth for gnawing? If you have answered yes to these questions have I got a drink for you. Ralph & Charlie, whom I can only assume wear giant bunny costumes all day due to their love of carrots, have released this beverage to honor said love. It's all an aging rabbit, who practiced poor dental hygiene could ask for (cause you know it's a juice, so they don't have to chew the carrots, did you really not understand that? Wow.).

Now, I've drunk a handful of carrot juices before, and I have strangely enjoyed them all. Every time I purchase one, I always question why am I doing such a thing, but when it hits my tongue, I am reminded that carrots are delicious and actually make a good juice. The thing about this drink that makes it stand out from the others I've had is that it has added sugar to it. It still had that classic carrot flavor to it, but it has an added sweetness, that almost makes it taste like a treat served at Thanksgiving. It doesn't taste as fresh as the other juices, but I think the added sugar would make it enjoyable to more people. You know, the people who think that vegetables and health food are for pansies. I think even those people would enjoy this juice. Them, and that geriatric rabbit I mentioned earlier.

I will be the first person to tell you that I don't eat enough vegetables. I eat more than probably the average amount; probably because I have a kid and don't want him to be a diabetic chunk by the time he is old enough to ride a bike. At the same time, I am pretty opposed to "hiding" vegetables into other foods like "this ravioli secretly has a serving of vegetables in it." and sold that way. Just give your kids vegetables like my parent's did me and don't take "no" for an answer. You're the parent. You make the rules. Don't let your turd kids tell you what's what. That's your job and you suck at it so now companies have to make up for you inability to be a good parent by injecting vegetables into your kid's junk food tricking them so they don't get antique diseases or just fall apart at the seams. Kids. Eat some corn. Not all vegetables are great but corn is. Peas are fine.

This drink is carrots and mangos and tastes like 90% mangos. It's not going to make up for your lack of health food but it's better than pop and one step closer to something like a V8 which is both delicious and healthy minus the sodium. This is a good juice all together. It's one of the better mango drinks I've had. It's nicely sweetened with sugar and still manages to keep everything represented. I like it. You should like it. Find it. Like it.

Do you see that completely fabricated wonderful blue sky and landscape on that bottle? When I drink this, I am there, and it is as real as anywhere. This is just plain wonderful. Like a lot of mixed fruit beverages the majority of juice in this is apple. It's a malleable juice that can take on the flavor of other fruits without overpowering them. Sure you can still taste the apple a bit, but it blends in nicely. It calms down the pineapple juice so it isn't so harsh as to give your throat the feeling that you just blew chunks in a public toilet. So you have this nice mild blend of pineapple and regular apple juices. That would be great as it is, but as Ralph & Charlie's is prone to do, they stepped up the game and added a bunch of carrots.

I like carrots. Actually, I borderline love carrots, but I had my reservations about this juice before I tried it. Carrots can be very overpowering in juice form, but in here they are team players. You can tell that there is a vegetable at work in the taste, but the fact that it is a carrot only slightly pokes its head out of the rabbit hole (all puns intended).

It's not fresh juice, and there is added sugar, but despite those things this tastes great, and you can drink it without feeling terrible about yourself. Well you can still feel terrible about yourself, but it will have nothing to do with your beverage choice.