Vita Coco - 7 Reviews

Since the ingredients are listed as “Tea(water, tea)” I don't believe this is the case, but this really tastes like a kettle of coconut water was boiled and then some tea bags were steeped in it and finally a healthy squirt (or two or five) of lemon was shot into it. The flavors are so seamless that it doesn't feel like the finished products could have just been mixed together. It's certainly an interesting flavor that I could see myself enjoying on all of those trips I take to tropical locations, where I do nothing but lounge in the sun staring out in to the ocean, but since I don't ever do those things, I don't know when I would drink this. It's really good, but it also feels like it has a very specific purpose. It's the kind of beverage that it just feels wrong sipping it while just sitting around your house. It needs to be enjoyed in the blistering heat of a summer sun. I'm sure many people will enjoy it in such a manner, but since that ball of gas in the sky and I are sworn enemies, I'm afraid I will never truly enjoy this in its intended manner.

This really feels like one of those “well I don't have enough of one beverage to fill a glass, so I might as well mix them together” type of situations. Normally these occasions turn out very poorly and you find yourself forcing yourself to drink a disgusting concoction because you're simply too lazy to walk aback to the kitchen. In this instance it worked out pretty well. It tastes like someone just mixed half a glass of lemonade with half a glass of coconut water. Both flavors are equally there, kind of sitting on each other and not blending together. Adding lemons to coconut water seems like an obvious choice now that I have it in front of me, but I'm shocked that I have not drunk it before. I can assure you that I will again on some hot summer days.

This feels like some sort of riddle; what do you get when you mix mediocre coconut water with espresso? A mixture I could take or leave that also has milk in it for some reason. Really though, why is the milk here? Isn't the coconut water supposed to act as the milk like substance? It's as if they combined espresso, chocolate and milk to create a normal mocha drink, and then watered it down with coconut water. It's like the coconut water was more of an afterthought rather than an integral part of the creating process.

For those of you out there, like me, who are not huge coffee fans, this has a bearable coffee flavoring. Unfortunately the chocolate isn't as strong as I would like it to be. Coco Cafè came out with a similar product a while ago and they achieved what this was reaching for and missed.

When you are stuck on an uninhabited tropical island the coconut is life. Due to it's salt, the ocean is death; drinking it would just lead to dehydration. You could keep yourself in healthy fluids by eating obscene amounts of tropical fruit, but that is just asking for more dysentery than a failed trip on the Oregon Trail. The only solution is to drink the pulpy, slightly chalky lifeblood for the coconut. You're going to have one hell of a time getting it open, but once you figure out a method, you're golden. Then and only then will you have the luxury of exploring the luxuries the island has to offer you. It could become your personal paradise.

When you get bored of the taste of straight coconut water, you can start mixing it with other fruits. Of course many of you would go straight for pineapples to create the classic pina colada flavor. For those of you who would like to pretend you're on this mystery island Vita Coco has packaged up it's own blend of a pina colada just for you. It's nothing but coconut water/pulp, pineapple pulp and vitamin C. Unfortunately they strain all of the solids out, so this is just a liquid with no fun involved.

This is not exactly the prime flavor for me, but it's something that I know a lot of people would love. There's something about Vita Coco that always leaves me wanting. Since it's just coconuts and juice I don't know what it is, but there is something that's just not as good as other brands, but it's more than good enough for you to enjoy.

When I was in grade school I would wake up in the morning, eat a bowl of cereal, get ready for school and then pack my lunch. It was generally a ham sandwich with mustard, a juice box and a pack fruit snacks. When that was done I would make myself a beverage while I waited for the bus, which picked me up in front of my house. I was convinced that the weirder the stuff I drank the better off I would be. I would mix every beverage in the fridge and just down it. This included adding milk to everything, which as every scientist knows leads to curdling. That is what this drink reminds me of; adding a little milk to orange juice. The flavors separate from each other and the orange juice ends up not tasting like itself anymore. This isn't as gross as that, but since the ingredients are only coconut water and orange juice, I am left wondering what happened to the orange flavor. I'm guessing when they juiced it up the peel got into the mix. It tastes bitter, and neither coconut water, nor orange juice should taste that way. I think I fared better with my prepubescent cocktail mixtures.

I woke up feeling like complete garbage today. It was strange though, as I didn't feel sick at all. My head felt fine. I wasn't stuffy, or have any sort of cold. My body just felt like it had gotten the ever-loving crap beat out of it last night. That way I felt is what I imagine having a hangover is like, well minus the headache. I didn't do anything crazy last night. I just hung out with some people at a friend's house and drank a single can of ginger beer. I didn't eat any junk food or anything. I have no idea what brought on the fake hell my body didn't really go through, but I was paying for it. I remembered that some of my friends drink coconut water to help them rehydrate and work through their real hangovers so I decided to give it a try.

This is only the second flavor of Vita Coco we have reviewed, and “That is shocking!” The other one was the first coconut water we reviewed, and I didn't realize that it had to be drunken ice cold. I gave it an absolutely terrible review. I really need to go back and re-review that. I didn't know how to drink it properly and my distaste was my fault, not the drinks. While I'm still not an enormous fan of coconut water, I don't mind them at all now. This one I find particularly enjoyable. It's just coconut water, passion fruit and pineapple puree. 2/3 of the ingredients in this bottle are some of my favorite flavors in the world, so it's got that going for it. It is still primarily coconut water though. The fruit are there only as light splashes of flavor. They do not overpower or ruin the integrity of the beverage.

I downed this carton. I laid down for about 45 minutes and when I got up I felt pretty close to normal. I guess I really was dehydrated. I wonder what in the world caused that. I now know that coconut water is the cure for those sorts of ailments though.

About three years ago I got a carton of this, and it was the first coconut water I ever drank. I drank it before it was properly chilled and as a result I thought it was utterly disgusting, thus ruining coconut water for me for some time. I reviewed it for Thirsty Dudes and it only got one bottle. That is how gross I thought it was.

Now that time has passed, and I realized that when drunken ice-cold coconut water is actually great, I decided I should revisit this and give it a proper go around. I can say that when I wore a younger man's shoes I was a bit of an idiot. This is fairly tasty. It's not the best coconut water I've ever had, but rereading my old review I didn't give it a fair chance at all.

I will say that for the first time ever I think that a drink has too much juice in it. Okay, they call it puree, but I would enjoy if this were lighter; let's say 95% coconut water, 5% fruit. The fruit juice is making it a bit too sweet with 30g of sugar in the carton. I know that's not a lot of sugar, but it's more than I want in coconut water. Overall though it has a nice taste, and if you're into your coconut water hiding behind some fruit flavor, this is for you.


Here is my old review if you'd like to read what a big dummy that doesn't know you should drink coconut water nice and cold thought:

First off, I really dislike coconut, so I've avoided this beverage for a while. After several people assured me that it did not taste anything like coconut, I decided to have a go of it. I was nervous when I was about to try it, but they were correct. It doesn't taste like coconut at all. What it does taste like is a chalky milky substance, which is on the edge of curdling because of the acidity of the fruit juice. At first I didn't think it was bad, but the more I drink it, I can't get that thought of it going bad out of my mind. The other flavors might not be as bad, but I doubt I will be trying them any time soon.