Jamaica - 15 Reviews

What better way to wash down fantastically delicious jerk chicken than with a spicy pop? Oh, none? That's what I thought. Jay and I went to local restaurant filled with hospitality and fantastic food, Dr. Bird's "Rastaraunt" and ordered food. They always have a good selection of things like Grace and DG but last time we went, they were all out of new things. It's fine. We don't expect everywhere to cater to us. Yesterday, though, they had this little number and we both "Oooo'd" at it.

We sit down. We eat. We drink. This is a very good drink and that is surprising because most pineapple pops are just too sweet. This was sweet but it tasted like the juice from a can of, you guessed it, pineapples. The ginger, while not as prevalent as in a ginger beer, still had a sharp little bit that accompanied the pineapple well. It did justice to the jerk chicken in a way that ice cream goes well after every meal or there is always room for Jell-O.

Well. What a disappointment. If this wasn't in a fun bottle, it would have gotten a two but I gave it the benefit of the doubt and gave it a three. Flavor alone, two. Undoubtedly. Not because it was bad but because it was one of the most boring colas I've ever had. In the everlasting quest for the world's greatest cola, this is at the bottom of the list. I have had generic, supermarket cola that is better than this. It's just cola. No depth, body, or anything. Oh you want cola flavored pop? Here is some cola flavoring. Done. Corn syrup knocks it down. Just boring. Plain and simple. It's times like this when I really wish that I had that octopus flavored Ramune.

One of Mike's boss' once proposed the idea of him doing a Thirsty Dudes spin off based on hot sauce. You know to join the great spin offs such as Joanie Love Chachi, The Ropers, Just the Ten of Us, A Different World, Empty Nest, Daria, and to bring it back to the beginning: Laverne and Shirley. Knowing how Mike stores his drinks all over the floor at work I can only assume Kevin would store his hot sauce the same way. One would think that there would be no way that the two would ever be confused, that is until this bottle of Organic Thinkers Sorrel Root drink would enter the mix. At that point either Kevin is going to get a floral, herbal splash on his hot dogs or Mike is going to get a mouthful of some crazy hot sauce. I really hope it would be Mike's mistake, but only if it was videotaped. Something like that is just too funny to not be immortalized in a digital format. Lucky for one of them that “Hot Sauce Dudes” or whatever it was going to be called never got off the ground, because seriously this bottle looks exactly like it should contain liquid fire.

This bottle expressly says there is no alcohol added. If it didn't have that statement there is no way in hell I would have tried this as it smells like some sort of cocktail a grandfather would drink. I took the world's tiniest sip, and I think there is no alcohol added because the drink itself is alcoholic. Actually it wasn't even a sip I dabbed some on my finger and tasted it. Good-bye edge. This has to be alcohol. It smells like it, it has a slight burn (that could be from the ginger, and it tastes what I remember vodka or something like that tasting like, but with added sweetness. A drop on my finger is all I'm going to try and it was no good in my book. I'm sure it's great for you health wise, but it's not a flavor I can get down with at all, especially if it really does contain a substantial amount of alcohol from fermentation. Seriously I would rather take a shot of hot sauce than dump this on my food any day.

Today we woke up to the sunny shore of Grand Cayman. An island whose economy is flourishing since the value of the US dollar is $0.80. Honestly, every drink I bought was not from a tourist trap and they were all over $3. I spent like $20 on about half a dozen pretty basic drinks.

Anyhow, Jessika and I went scuba...ing and it was awesome: tarpon as big as a six years old boy plus a legit shipwreck.

There was no rhyme or reason as to what I picked first but you should know that I was a bit partial to this drink as Grace stuff has been wonderful to us Thirsty Dudes.

I don't know what a june plum is, but I think I know what a golden apple, which is the parenthesized title of this drink. My guess is a yellow apple. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. Either way the flavor was that of a weak apple. It doesn't stop there, though. There was ginger in it and that little bit of bite, that little bit of spice, made this drink. It wasn't as much as a ginger beer, but it was enough to make you do a double take because it "zinged" you. You got zinged, dogg.

I can't get this stuff back home, hence, why I got it on the Cayman Islands. Sure, everything is too expensive, even for a tourist trap, but it did give me this little gem.

I'm pretty certain that the cartoon cat on this bottle may have been modeled after Mike. He's got the swimming trunks, the white shoes, the wrap around shades, it looks like he has a beard, and most importantly it has a look of complete apathy about what is happening around it. That cat is in a good place and it's not going to let outside factors ruin his time. It may take some work though because he appears to be drinking a bottle of this self same orange soda (which has a picture of him on it holding a bottle of the self same orange soda, so on and so forth). If I know this cat like I know Mike, then I can assure you this cat loves hot dogs (and writing over 100 songs about barbeques). I can only assume that he is about to eat half his body weight in hot dogs, and is planning on enjoying this soda to wash them down. Yes it is a scientific fact that orange soda is the perfect beverage to accompany hot dogs, read a book!

Mike cat is going to love those hot dogs. In fact he may go back for more to eat his entire body weight. He is going to be disappointed about his beverage selection though. Look, I've eaten a lot of hot dogs in my life, so it stands to reason that I have also drank a lot of orange soda. It's a fairly low quality flavor of pop. It doesn't give you much to work with, but you don't expect much and that is the beauty of it. DG has somehow managed to make generic orange pop taste off. It starts off just as you would expect it to, but then it fades into lemon-lime territory for some reason. I also feel like there is way more citric acid in each bottle than necessary. I hope Mike cat brought a backup because this isn't going to do what he needs to get done. Maybe he doubled up the DG and brought some of their tasty ginger beer.

Whoppers, the candy the world loves to hate. You know they are gross, but when they are put in front of you, at least one needs to be tasted. It could happen once a week and I would still try them and then think to myself "oh yeah these things are gross." What is this strange power the Hershey company holds over us? Have the Pennsylvanian candy billionaires delved into the black arts? Are malt balls summoned demons in candy form? They sure taste that way. If it's true then this is those self same demons in soda pop form. This tastes like someone took a mild ginger beer and dissolved a whole bunch of the centers of whoppers in it. I don't like it, but I keep sipping on it for some reason. The demons have me in their grip.

Oh a non-demonic note I feel like this is what a lot of fancier beers tastes like as a base. I bet someone who was into that sort of thing would really be into this. I could be completely wrong, but that's how I feel and I demand you respect my emotions!

Sherman, could you please get my Sorels? It's cold and I need to go outside to scour for food and supplies. They're in the back room. What are you doing? Why is it taking so long? What do you have there? Juice? Seriously? Well since I have it, I'll drink it. Whoa. Sherman. Where did you get this? You traveled all the way to town? I asked you to get my Sorel boots and you brought me...Sorrel drink. I guess I can see the problem here. Thanks, but why didn't you get some food when you were out? I mean you bought Ramen for yourself and this Sorrel drink, which I am quickly falling in love with. What are we going to eat later? We can only eat snow shaped like hot dogs for so long. I guess one more day won't hurt. Man, so good. Did you try this? Sherman, try it. It tastes like a spicy cranberry hibiscus juice. It's got that good ginger beer taste with a nice big fruit flavor. You like it, don't you buddy? Alright, I should have just gotten them myself. I'll get my boots and we'll go to town together and get stuff. I owe you one of these drinks because they are worth every penny. Maybe if you're good, I'll get you some chocolate. You love your chocolate.

I just booked a vacation to Hawaii for a friend's wedding. I'm planning on completely gorging myself on pineapples while I'm there. I mean to the point where my tongue is bleeding from the acidity. I decided that I would celebrate my purchase and start conditioning my body for all the pineapple intake. Unfortunately, there is no real pineapple in this drink, only artificial flavoring. Due to that it doesn't really taste like pineapple. It does taste just like pineapple Slice used to. I enjoy this a lot. Not all pop is supposed to taste like fruit, and I need to keep that in mind.

It's almost 3am and I'm in Gainesville, FL. What else would I be doing that drinking this brutal ginger beer? It's got one heck of a burn, and it's nice and sweet. I kind of feel like I just chugged a gallon of liquid smoke. It's probably not a great idea to drink this before bed.

Mooooooooooom why is my pudding so liquidy? Oh because you accidentally put the pudding in a can, and the drink in my pudding bowl? Seriously this has the consistency of pudding/the slime you got out of quarter machine as a kid. I had to shake the can to get it in the cups in glops.
It also reminds me of how vanilla egg nog pudding would taste. This is just strange. I just can't get over the consistency. I don't think it would be so gross if it were more of a fluid.

Have you ever been punched in the butt? Not like a joke, like a real, honest to goodness punch in the butt. Do me a favor and go to a grocery store and get four things:

1. A can of Squirt
2. A bottle of Ting. Get the original, not the pink
3. Milk.
4. Bread. Not white bread. Something like a twelve grain. You're an adult now.

Go home and open up the can of Squirt and take a sip. Not bad, right? Now turn that bottle of Ting upside down and then right side up, open it, and throw that leftover can of Squirt in the garbage because you'll never want that second rate grapefruit pop again.

I don't know what it was, but the Ting original was exceptional. Excellent real grapefruit flavor. I liked it better than the pink. I found it in a couple places but if you have a Jamaican or Hispanic market, they should have it there?

Oh, the milk and bread? You needed that.

Am I the only one who expects ginger beer to destroy them, only to be let down? Maybe I'm picking the wrong ginger beers. Flavor-wise, Old Jamaica makes a great ginger beer. It's far from bland, and was a pleasure to drink. But sadly, it went down smooth without much of a ginger bite. If you like a slight ginger taste but don't like to be over powered by it, this is for you. Myself, I'm still searching for a ginger beer that will kick my ass.

See that grapefruit over there? Okay now grab your machete and chop that little guy in half. Take those two halves and squeeze the hell out of them into that glass on your left. Okay now grab that sack of sugar and toss a fistful into the glass. Okay bear with me we're almost done here. Reach under your seat and pull out that CO2 tank that's wedged down there. Squirt a hardy amount into the glass. Now you have this beverage.

When I was looking at this bottle I read it as "Bottled by PC Jamaica LTD. Jamaica WI." I thought it was hysterical that they made it in Jamaica, Wisconsin. Then my friend looked at the bottled, and confirmed as per usual that I am an idiot, and it said "Jamaica, W.I." How did I miss the periods that signify West Indies. So yes, this was actually made in the real Jamaica, and it is exactly what I expect from ginger beer. An instant burst of flavor followed by an increasing burning sensation. I don't even know how to describe the "heat" from ginger. It's nothing like the spiciness of peppers or wasabi. It is it's own thing, and it's concentrated in your throat, not your mouth. It's wonderful.

This is a mango juice for kids. It tastes like the other mango juices I've had with way more sugar added. I should have been tipped off because it's called "Mango Drink" and not juice or puree. Don't get me wrong, I think it's tasty, but for the sake of my health I'm going to reach for a Goya or Looza when I want a mango beverage.