Mountain Dew Dewshine

Oh man. I forgot I've got an Unreal Tournament later and I ain't got m' Dew. I can't get headshots if I ain't got m' dew. No. I can't drink Sprite, man. I need Mountain Dew. Wait wuuuuutt? It's clear. It's not Dew. Dewshine? Hmm. I'm skeptical of that, buddy. I'll try it because I need my fix.

Hey. This is good. I don't want to say it's better than Dew but it is. It's not as sweet. Look. I'm forty. I can't be drinking Mountain Dew all day like I used to. This is more like a lemon-lime pop than Mountain Dew. Look, you know as well as I that Mountain Dew is awful for you. A guilty pleasure, sure but it's got to be eating me from the inside out.

This is good. You are right. And you know what? I'll cut back on Mountain Dew. I might drink more of this. It's not going to be an even switch. I know I've got to switch but like I said, I need m' Dew.