Nescafe Extra Bold

My mom always jokes around. I clearly get my sense of humor from her and my money management skills from my (Jewish) dad. I'm fine with that. I like it that way. If you asked my mom how she likes her coffee, she would say, "Black. Like I like my men." which is funny because it's funny but also funny because the man she married is so white…€¦ so white. My dad. My dad is so white, and Jewish. My white, Jewish dad is very white.

This coffee, like my mom's faux preference in men, is "extra bold" which is just black. "Black like the night" as my (Jewish) grandma would say about her hair, which was more brown than black but her eyes were bad. Lay off. You know how Jewish women love that black bob haircut. My grandma would always ask for it but somehow left the salon with a mouth full of gossip and brown hair. I do not remember her choice in coffee but her husband, like my mom's husband, my daddy, was a pasty white, Jewish dude.

Back to the coffee. It's dark and less sweet than you would expect. These Nescafe drinks are nice because it's right at the limit where I can take coffee before it gets too much. I strongly dislike actual coffee but these drinks are great. It's darker and less sweet than the regular one that I drank.

Grandma, if you're reading this from beyond the grave, know that I am inside wearing a jacket. Mom, if you are reading this in between handing out milk and opening brat kid's Capri Suns, I'm talking about you behind your back. Deal with it.