Peace Tea Caddy Shack Tea & Lemonade

What've you got there? Is that a gun? Oh, it's just a can. Sorry. I'm a bit paranoid. You see, I had this wildly vivid dream where a man who looked just like you stood me up at this very shoe store. I was here, buying my Gentlemen, welcome to orientation. As many of you know this weekend marks the opening of the golf course here at Leisurewood Acres Country Club. For the sake of the new caddies and as a reminder to those returning to us I would like to remind everyone that this is a place of business, not a movie from the 80's. Every year pranks get played and every year the golfers complain. I'm not above having a little fun, but really guys how many times can you throw a Baby Ruth in the pool and pretend it's a turd? It's been done and I don't see any of you following in the footsteps of the great Bill Murray and taking a bite out of the chlorine drenched candy.

Okay, I know you guys aren't going to listen to me and the pranks are going to happen no matter what I say, but can you please at least be creative. Recreating scenes from a movie is never funny to people on the outside. In fact it's just plain annoying. So think of new pranks or don't do any at all. I'm putting my foot down about that. Also, while you're out there on the links daydreaming about what jokes you're going to pull, offer the golfers some cans of this new Peace Tea. Sharon in the front office accidentally ordered 100 cases of the stuff and we have to move it somehow. Mark, stop your complaining. It's not like I'm having you guys peddle garbage tea, this is some decent quality stuff. For legal reasons we can't call it by it's proper nomenclature, but it's half tea and half lemonade the way great golfers like it. It's actually way better than the garbage they've been brewing in the kitchen. It tastes like a naturally brewed lemon tea with a little extra kick to it. There's even a little apple juice mixed in for good measure. It's refreshing and tastes more like tea than it does sugar water.

Now get out there with your tiny scissors and tend to the greens. The groundskeeper left in a huff and said something about getting a job at an elementary school. At least that's what I think he said. It's hard to understand him because of his accent sometimes.