Wegmans Frizzante Sicilian Lemon

Ahh adulthood. You'd made it, little guy. You made it through high school and did well on your worthless SATs. You went to community college for general education until you raised enough money working at your dad's shoe store, Paul's Boutique, to go to a four year school and study what you've always wanted to; accounting. You got your associates degree in science, which is virtually worthless as you didn't do anything scientific and you're pretty sure that they just give AS's away but at least you've got something to show for two of the easiest years of your life. Then, when attending university, you met a nice brunette with sweet cans, not that it matters (good job, son) and started dating. Not letting your girlfriend get in the way of your studies and not letting your studies get in the way of your apprenticeship at that abomination you call a bank, what? It's true. Son, they have one teller and I'm sure that she's no less than ninety years old. Either way, congratulations. Now you're married for going on five years, have one girl and another baby of a mystery sex...your mother doesn't understand why you won't just find out what it's going to be. Anyhow, you've really made something of yourself. To reward you, I've purchased this single bottle of Wegman's Sicilian Lemon Frizzante. It's an Italian soda from thousands of miles from Italy, regardless of its multiple references to the "Boot" region of Europe. Lemonade is great, but this is more mature, bolder, and bitterer, like life. Yes, son, this is like the lemonade of life. It's mostly pretty sweet but at times it can be bitter but you know that the sweetness will come back. It's not like kids lemonade that's all sugar all the time. That stuff is for kids and the poor. What? I can say whatever I want under my own roof. I worked hard at my shoe store for over 30 years, honing my craft and touching all sorts of gross feet. Anyhow, congratulations on your one bottle of pop that I've bought you. I hope you like it. I know that I did the other three.