Milkshake - 38 Reviews

On iced tea day, I intended on only drinking iced tea. That is until I saw a commercial for cold hot chocolate and had to switch things up a little bit. I'll get to you tea but as it is, I drink more iced tea per week than an entire family.

I went to Dunkin' Donuts and humiliatingly ordered "Midgees" which I guess was the old name for "Munchkins" and I think the cashier picked on me but I can't be sure so I have to let them get away with it. Then they didn't have anything but glazed ones anyhow so it really didn't matter what I called them. Nothing but problems with that place. Then I got this drink and I was ready to go.

Now this drink is simple, right? It's hot chocolate but cold. They "Icee" it up a little bit using their super crushed Coolata ice. I don't know how they do it but it's nice. It's nice for a limited time and then it just turns into a regular, flat drink. I drank about half this as something special and then the second half, as far as I am concerned, was just chocolate milk. As you can see in the picture, they just have chocolate syrup in there anyhow. It's not like they invented anything here. They just made something hot cold and blended it in a machine that they use to make other things in.

Sure, it's good. Sure I would get another. It's hardly breaking down any barriers. I know they're not trying to do that and I'm not trying to judge them too harshly. I don't know what I would do to improve that aside from things on my part. Number one would be to get a smaller drink so that I can enjoy it as it was intended in its entirety. Second would be to drink it faster and not care about the inevitable impending brain freeze or actually enjoying the drink. I think that the first option is the better one. Smaller. I didn't need all that I got anyhow. I think I ordered a small but they might have given me a medium. Maybe I got a medium. They probably just proved me right and just got my order wrong again.

Okay guys, which one of you pulled this prank on me? You know I take my protein intake seriously. I mean how else am I supposed to get ripped so I can be a superhero look alike on the street for tips? One of you jerks obviously emptied out my protein drink and replaced it with a melted McDonalds milkshake. There is no way that this is not a McDonalds vanilla shake that was left out of the counter, and then put in the fridge to cool it down. It tastes identical to that. So, not only have you denied me my crucial protein, but you've also given me the least healthy dessert beverage of all time. Thanks, jerks. Now I'll never get to look like Thor for $7 in tips an hour. I'm never going to be able to pay off my student loans for medical school.

It is a well known fact that it is more important to have core strength rather than strength in just your extremities. Imagine having a weak little torso, but huge bulky arms. That is just ridiculous. I would like someone to draw a caricature of me looking like that. I will pay you one American dollar for it.

It is a lesser known fact that the best way to increase your core strength is with chocolate milk. Okay that is not exactly true. You do need to do some exercise and the like, but afterwards a properly placed chocolate protein drink will work wonders in building muscle and in being less hungry.

This tastes like a ridiculously good chocolate milk. It's slightly gritty, but it doesn't seem to be in the whey protein way. It's more of a “we didn't completely shave this chocolate down to nothing when we made this drink” kind of way. Just think of them that way; as tiny, miniscule little chocolate flakes. Doesn't that make the drink even better?

Most protein drinks you have to take with a grain of salt, and expect something to be a little off with them. This does not fall victim to that taste-wise and I could pound this all the livelong day. Sure, I would probably be a lard since I'd be ingesting so much protein, but my taste buds would be happy.

I like good chocolate milk. Who doesn't? It's chocolate milk. It's kid stuff that just follows you through the years that wonderfully never leaves. You reach adulthood and then you realize there is a world of different products out there including the beloved chocolate milk. Some of them are good and some of them are bad and some of them are the same products that have been out for twenty years that are just fine as they are. This falls into the "bad" category. It's a "natural chocolate shake" but it is more like a protein drink that tastes like a diet protein drink because it's filled with an array of different sweeteners that just makes it feel like chalk and low grade chocolate. What else is there to say? No thanks. If you're on a diet and can't find any other chocolate milk, fine, go with it, but if you can find even a local gas station chocolate milk, steer towards that. Just don't do it with your car. Buffalo is becoming synonymous with people driving through stores and restaurants.

Welcome to your friendly neighborhood ice cream shoppe. How may I help you? Let me see if I got this right. You want me to make a bowl of our delicious French vanilla ice cream and then let it sit out in the sun until it has completely melted? Then you want me to take that bowl, pour it into a glass and put it in the fridge to cool it down, but not so that it re-congeals into solid iced cream again? Sir, I don't know why you would want that, but my manager always tells me the customer is always right, so I'll get right on that. It will probably take about two hours though, is that okay? Alright then, I'll see you again in two hours.

Welcome back sir. I have to admit I was intrigued by your request, so I made one for myself as well. It's okay I guess, but nothing I would really care for again. Oh, you were doing an experiment because you drank a mix 1 vanilla nutritional shake and you thought this is exactly what it tasted like? That's one weird shake you drank sir. Oh the results weren't exactly that you expected, and the Mix 1 drink wasn't nearly as thick and it had a stronger French vanilla flavor? But other than that, it was pretty similar? Well sir I have to say that if that is what your nutritional shake tasted like it certainly must have been better than most. Congratulations Now, can I have the $1.89 you owe me for the iced cream?

Samantha, you look wonderful tonight. I didn't tell you earlier but you deserve the compliment. I think that we really deserve a nice night out at this fine Greek restaurant. The prices are reasonable and it's the only place where you can get a hot dog, spaghetti, steak, and a gyro and no one looks at you funny. Those are all high quality foods. Also, one other thing I enjoy about this place is that they have that little bowl of after dinner mints and that tiny spoon so people don't put their grimy hands in the dish. They hand you Andes mints when you get your check, too. Very nice people, those Greeks. Very nice people.

What am I getting tonight? Well, Sam, tonight I will be getting the hummus to start, followed by the main entry of a hamburger, and closing it with a spanakopita, and washing it all down with a mint chocolate shake. What are you getting? Oh, the french onion soup, chicken tacos, tiramisu, and a diet Coke? Sounds multicultural and delicious.

Samantha, this was a wonderful second date and to cap it, I will give you a big surprise. No, I'm not going into my pocket for a wedding ring. Don't worry. I am getting my wallet because I am paying this entire thirty-four dollar check. Dinner is on me tonight; my treat to you. You know what? I've still got half a milkshake left...and there are Andes mints here...maybe I'll just...crush these up here...and put them in here....and now I have a chocolate mint Andes supreme. It's supreme because I took some of your whipped cream from your dessert when you went to the bathroom. This is great although I could get a Shamrock shake, throw some Andes in there and call it a day. You know what, though. This is a special occasion. For you, I will treat this like a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Thank you for coming, Samantha. I had a wonderful night. I hope you did the same. We ate food from around the world, listened to the happy birthday song in Greek three times, and co-created a great milkshake that you can remember me by when we're not together. No, I'm not reaching in my jacket pocket for a ring, Samantha. I am getting my car keys. Man, are you anxious or worried to get married? I can't feel you out.

"Maybe I'll get a Jamocha shake." I said to myself in the pouring rain as we were on our way to Arby's. I don't normally get shakes but I thought for that reason I might get one. One foot in the joint and I saw this...

...and thought it might be good for the site. You know, people like Arby's. Everyone loves to say "Horsey Sauce" and new products are always fun.

As you can see, what I got did not exactly resemble what was shown but I understand not everything can be so fancy. Rather than pulling a "Falling Down" I decided to drink this and not say a word, well, until now I guess. I honestly don't care how this came to me, it was just drastic enough to point out.

I kind of knew what I was in for and it's very easy to explain. Take a vanilla milkshake, crush a handful of starlight mints in it, blend, put more crushed mints on top, drink. That's it. There might have been a pink, mint syrup involved, too, because I can't see how the colors ran so much in such little amount of time. You probably think I'm going to make a "These colors don't run." or "America" reference but not today. Instead I'll come through and let you know what a drink was like. Novel idea for a website that claims to review drinks, right?

It was good. I certainly didn't need as much as I received and sure, I could have just stopped drinking but the chunks of candy were at the bottom and, much like a drug addict or an eight years old boy on Halloween, I just couldn't stop. Poor kids. They just love candy so much. I bet both of those parties would enjoy this milkshake. It would probably help out the meth head's bad breath due to lack of teeth and dental coverage.

Dear King,
I understand the role of a king and I wonder what you are the king of. No one is the king of burgers. That is just a nickname. You have been "the king" for a while but I am wondering what your jurisdiction is. You spend a lot of time modeling for toys and being creepy around town but I often wonder what you do. I am not second-guessing your king-hood, but I just would kind of like your resume.

While we are talking about the things you've done, you've done a good job with your Whopper line. I had an "Angry Whopper" and it was spicy and still retained that quintessential Whopper attitude. I also had the Carolina Whopper and it was good but it was very saucy. Very saucy, like some sort of old woman freshly divorced and ready to paint the town red. Very saucy.

While you're kinging it up, you should know that although I appreciate you looking out for the kids, your servants are kind of messing things up. Kids nowadays are a bit chubby and you made the sweeping declaration of making things healthier. For that, I appreciate it. You are a wonderful, healthy king, but your servants have served my young son french fries instead of apples. I didn't know until I was home and can't give him a serving, even if it is small, to him. He's too young.

Now on to what you've been waiting for: compliments. Your Frappe line is wonderful. It's pretty great and it was actually easy to look at. It looked like one from an advertisement. The consistency was almost like a looser milkshake and it was perfect. It was very mocha and chocolate and just a little bit of coffee. I don't have any improvements for it. A little whipped cream on top and some chocolate sauce as a lovely decor.

The king, although I don't know your role in this world aside from your spokespersoning for a burger franchise, you're alright in my book. Keep creating Whoppers and keep coming up with new menu items and make sure to give my little buddy apples from here on out. He likes fries too much to eat them.

Hey dude. Check out that chick right there. So hot. I'm so glad we came to "Big Wet" instead of going to that theme park with the water park in it. They've got a Dunkin' Donuts right across the street. Do you want anything? I'll get my hand stamped and come right back.

Here you go. Oh, this? It's an Oreo Coolatta. It's pretty good. Want to try it? Yeah, it tastes mostly like Oreo cookies and not a lot like coffee. Would I have appreciated a bit more coffee? Yeah. Did someone just scream? Maybe it was some kids going down a waterslide. Yeah, I would have appreciated a bit more coffee but look at all the cookie in here. It's a fine grind, but I've got to say that there are two or three ground up cookies in this drink. It's sweet and man is it big. This twenty-four ouncer is a medium. No one needs this much but you know what? It's hot out.

Dude! Did you see that!? That! Right there! That hot chick is missing a leg! She had one a minute ago and now she doesn't. That was a hot leg. Why am I making jokes? Is that kid missing a hand? What the heck is going on? Is that pool filled with blood? Woah! Did you see that?! A piranha just jumped out of the water and bit that girl's neck. We've got to get out of here. Where's Carl? Is he still in the pool? Carl!! Carl!! Get out of the pool! No, you are not safe on that raft. Those piranhas are everywhere and they're eating people. Get out of the pool. Yes, you can have the rest of this Coolatta just get out. Oh, great. You see, Carl, you idiot? You stayed in and now you've got a piranha on your arm. Get that thing off and let's just get out of here. It's still nice out. We can still make it to that theme park and go on that roller coaster once we get you all bandaged up. Man, that piranha did a number on you. Just put some of these napkins on it. It will be fine.

Living in Alaska is hard work. Sure, you've got a Between The Buried And Me record named after you, but aside from that it's snow. Year in. Year out. Day in. Day out. Snow. There is a little time you can see the green grass, but it's probably muddy. You never know the pleasure of not wearing a coat or shorts unless you have irresponsible parents. One thing that you "earn" is the ability to crave ice cream. Most people have warm weather that needs cool treats to make the temperature bearable. You have cold year round, so there is no better time than now for ice cream. Honestly, you might eat ice cream to warm you up on certain days.

If you live in the frigid parts of Canada and can identify with the previously mentioned sentiments, go to your local shoppe and buy this cool milkshake. French vanilla is an ice cream that I don't really care about unless there are fun fixins on it like fudge, jimmies, and a cherry. If you like the plain vanilla then this drink is right up your alley. Look, we can't get high quality milkshakes everywhere all the time. Sometimes we need to get off our high horse, or in your case, your average sized snowmobile that is probably pretty bitchin' and drink this "everyman's" milkshake. It's thick. It's sweet. It tastes remarkably like french vanilla. It's frothy and is nice to shake and shake and shake after every sip.

Alaska might be a nice place. I might like it. Northern Canada might be a nice place. I have dealt with enough cold to not have to subject myself to more of it. I recommend people in these two places take a little vacation to somewhere with sun where they can shed their coats, pants, and extra socks. Feel the sand between your pale, white toes. Let the sun hit your hatted head.

"They're on to us." the CEO said. "They know what we've been doing all these years and are questioning our previous practices." "Why don't you just put something else out that will make it seem like your heart is in the right place and that you respect your customers?" said the drive through attendant who had only been working at the company for eight days and somehow managed to get a hold of the CEO of a major, multinational company. "That's a brilliant idea! What do you think we should make?" said the CEO, for the first time in a decade, with hope in his eyes. "I'm not sure. Why don't you upgrade the restaurants? Make them look a little more modern." suggested the pimpled attendant. "Eh, we've done that not too long ago. I guess we can put a little bit of lipstick on it but we need something simpler. Something approachable. Something like a menu item." suggested the CEO. "Hmm, what about a new milkshake? One with better ingredients. Some real ice cream and people love coffee with whipped cream, how about that. Oh, and get this, for the cherry on top? A cherry on top!" exclaimed the awkward teenage worker. "I love it." said the CEO. "Make one up for me and we'll see if we can use it."

The employee whipped together a strawberry milkshake, swirled in some fresh ice cream and chocolate syrup in there, put a nice, unhealthy dollop of whipped cream on top, and put a cherry on the top, as promised. "Here you go." said the employee happier than when he got a B+ on his physics test the day before. "Oh my gosh. Son, this is great. You can taste the ice cream and the classic strawberry taste and the whipped cream and cherry is really a "cost is no object" touch to it. What did you say your name was, because I'm appending the prefix "Manager" to whatever it is. What do you think about that?" beamed the CEO. "I love it, said the newly appointed manger. When do I start?" said the employee. "Right now! Take that dumb visor off and put this manager cap on. Enjoy your pay increase, your 401K, and your retirement and stock options packages. Today, you did well. Thank you for your help in saving this company with a milkshake."

Do you remember when your parents used to take you to McDonald's and it was an event? I do. I remember the sights and sounds and smells of it. I don't know if it's because we didn't really ever go or because the whole family would get in the car and we'd drive there and go together. Hamburger, cheeseburger, or McNugget. That's all we would get. Their menu now is very elaborate but their staples, albeit terribly unhealthy now that we know what "good food" is, are still there and still guiltily delicious once every six months.

That's about the frequency that I go to McDonald's. Once every six months. Yeah, sometimes I go through the drive through to get a sweet tea, but that's not really considered a trip.

Today my girlfriend and I went to get some nuggets and we decided to try their McCafe shakes. We got a strawberry (review coming soon) and a chocolate (where you are now). It's simple; take a regular McDonald's shake, whip in some whipped cream, add more whipped cream, and put a cherry on top. It tastes more like a frozen yogurt or a half melted ice cream than a shake. McDonald's has this thing where they make the shakes so hard to get through a straw that by the time you are finished with one, your cheeks look like they've been put through as much stress as Louie Armstrong's did in his entire career. It was very creamy and not too sweet and the additional whipped cream made it even smoother once you drank half of it and everything kind of mixed together.

It is a nice alternative to a classic shake and although it could never replace the standard, it isn't that far from it where it feel like cheating, like if you were dating a sister and she had a twin and you kissed on her a little bit. It's close enough that no one can blame you. That's how it works, right?

Greg's got a sweet tooth. I love it. I drink a lot of drinks with sugar in it, but it's never sweet enough. Rumor has it, and you could probably ask to confirm, that he once lined up Cadbury Creme Eggs and ate three, one after another. He was the person I had in mind when I brought this drink in. I have been holding on to it for just the right time and today, this dreary, spring day.

I gave it to Greg to try first and with the blink of an eye, half of the bottle was gone. He must have been jonesing for something sweet. I did mention that I brought something in for him, and when I presented him with this, his little mouth probably started working. He had a good "woah" face on when he tried it, which means that it's good. I gave it a whirl, liked it a lot, gave it to Zack to try and he said that it tastes like "liquid Rolo's" which I don't think that I could top in a description, so I won't.

I let Greg finish the rest of the bottle, which he promptly and swiftly did. I think he liked it, and I think that he thinks that you would, too. Take a trip north to Canada, get a little bottle, and share it with your friends because it's got a heart-stopping amount of calories for one person to commit to.

We normally don't review beverages that aren't already prepackaged. I made an official decision to make an exception for this review.

McDonald's is gross. I think everyone over the age of 10 knows that. Yet millions of people eat there daily. I don't get it. The last time I ate food from there was in 1995. I remember my friends wanted to go there after school and I got an order of fries. I can't even remember when I last ate one of their burgers. Even though I never eat the food, I still find myself sighing once a year as I walk through their doors. The Shamrock Shake is my weakness. Since I was a kid, I've been obsessed with them. As soon as winter looks like it might end, I get excited because I know this minty milkshake will be available soon.

I decided today that it was time for my yearly visit. On my way to the mall to pick up a birthday present for my lady-friend, and some jeans for myself, I made a pit stop to get a milkshake. The restaurant still looks and smells gross and the Shamrock Shakes are still wonderful. A nice thick vanilla milkshake with just the slightest bit of mint mixed in. It shouldn't be good, but it really is dreamy. They have also switched to a classier clear cup. Also, this year it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top. Even better. If you want one, hurry up. They will only be available for a few more days.

I'm American. I am probably a poor American for the following reasons:
1. I do not own a Bruce Springsteen record. Not my fault. I bought one and it was out of stock.
2. I do not drive a truck.
3. I do not drive an American car, although Mazda is partially owned by Ford so that's kind of close.
4. I am not a Christian, nor religious at all.
5. I am skinny.

I live on the border of the US and Canada. No, really. From where I am sitting, I can see Canada with ease. For this reason, I know what Coffee Crisp and Smarties are. I also know what a Crispy Crunch is. This does taste like a Crispy Crunch, but half of the fun is the crunch that you get from the candy bar itself. Also, who doesn't love to eat something like a Kit Kat over a nice, dark wood desk, love it, then look down and feel accomplished at the mess you've made. Just brush it on the floor. "The help" comes at night, like ninjas with mops. This isn't bad. It's beyond horrific for you, but it's good. It's just lacking what makes the candy bar good.

Imagine finding a Hershey's with Almonds chocolate bar in a box full of chalk. It would be a weird sight, wouldn't it? Now imagine eating the chocolate. It would still taste like chocolate, but the chalk taste would still be there with every bite.

That is exactly how this drink taste. I want to like it, I really do. But with every sip, the chalk taste just sits in the back of my mouth while the delicious chocolate taste lingers on my lips.

Whenever I see a new vegan milkshake, I feel the need to try it. I have never had a milkshake made with rice milk before, but when I saw this was chai flavored I had to try it. Sadly, it doesn't have a strong chai taste to it. It mostly taste like almonds and nutmeg. The consistency is really good, not too thin and not too thick. While I'm not crazy about this flavor, it shows promise for the other flavors Amazake offers.

Well...color me impressed. I read the label and it says "Milk Shake". Whatever dude, it's just chocolate milk lying to me. I will sincerely apologize to you, Chug, as you have actually released a milk shake in a bottle.

I bought this over at the Dollar General on a whim and what a good whim. It is the thickest, creamiest "milkshake in a bottle" I've ever had. It's as if you bought a legit milkshake at your local chromed our diner and let it sit on the table for ten minutes. It tastes like the bottom of every chocolate milkshake you've ever had.

Convinced? Do it. Tom Scharpling says, "Do it." Henry Rollins says, "Do it." I say, "Do it."