Killer Buzz - 6 Reviews

Purple stuff. We've all seen the Sunny D commercial so you all know what I'm talking about when I say that. Purple drink is a little more kind to say, as it is drinkable. This energy drink reminds me of purple drink. It has a purple/grape taste that is hard to mistake. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's just nothing to write home about. As far as energy drinks as a whole go, this is definitely in the top 50 percentile.

I still think I would like it more if there was a cartoon bee on the can. But sadly it probably wouldn't be the bee that is in my head with a Rambo headband/armbands, bulging muscles, wounds, etc... Now that I'm typing this out, it sounds like a horrible idea. Don't listen to my can design suggestions Killer Buzz.

My body is now filled with premium giant hornet DNA. I can fly through the air scaring people but really not doing any harm. I can hang out with other hornets and make nests in people's decks and only emerge from my slumber when people are having a backyard get together. I am now a hornet all thanks to an energy drink. Just one sip of this energy drink makes me cringe a little due to the super-sweetness but after a few more, I have become immune to the tartness and the sweetness and can now enjoy the strange, energy drink taste of it. I am energized enough to go build a giant hive in someone's garage when they aren't looking so when they get the skis out of it come winter, they will find a nice surprise. I am energized enough to watch Bee Movie and wonder what it would be like if they made a Hornet Movie and if it would really be any different and who would play me in it. I have the energy to do anything that a hornet would do and when I "come down" I will be a human again and will probably be quite lethargic and will stop being productive and probably just play video games. It makes you think...

A wise man once said, “Martin Short better watch out cause here come the bees.” Well Mr. Short that bodes well for not only your character in Pure Luck, but also if you have a fear of energy drinks. Killer Buzz has updated their look and released a handful of new flavors. I was on the fence about their original two flavors, but I have come around to this new line.

What we have here is “a mongrel mix of beneficial berries.” I don't know about you but to me that sounds like they somehow found a way to splice bees, stray dogs and raspberries together and then milk them for their energy source. That is just sick and it is something that Martin Short should truly be afraid of. Flying rabid dogs with huge stingers that smell like sweet, sweet raspberries. The little blurb on the can does nothing to refute this thought either. If anything it confirms it. While the idea of these creatures is enough to turn your hair bone white, the resulting energy drink is very tasty. It tastes like a mixed berry pop with only small hints of the energy drink taste. I downed this can pretty fast before I realized it was gone. That could just be dangerous. Part of me feels like energy drinks shouldn't taste good, so that people don't abuse them. Who am I kidding people are going to do that no matter what.

As long as the company keeps them locked up I don't think we have anything to fear, but let's just hope that they are not asexual reproducers. If they do escape make sure you down a can of this as it will give you the energy you need to escape unscathed and unstung.

The dragons are unhappy, my friend. You best beware. Why? Well it's because we have been shooting arrows at them when they fly above us. I don't know why they are surprised. They step on our buildings, eat our cattle, and use the townspeople as toothpicks. Not to mention they burp fire constantly so we're always putting out fires. Arrows are going light if you ask me. We should be using cannons or a Trebuchet or something but the ammunition is far too expensive to waste on dragons since it doesn't do much. Recently they have been just sitting at the edge of town and spitting on the townspeople as they leave to go outside to hunt and such. It's a real jerk move if you ask me. They're just sitting out there, literally sitting and spitting at people. It's downright disrespectful. I think I would rather fight them than have them use me as a spittoon.

Did you hear what the town wizard said, though? He said that the dragon spit actually has magical powers if you ingest it. It sounds so gross but I actually went out there, mooned a dragon, and he spit on me. I was covered head to toe. I came home and rung my clothes out into some pots so you and I could try it. Here is a glass of spit for you and a glass of spit for me. You got more in your cup because I got spit on and don't deserve to drink as much. Bottoms up, friend.

You know what? It's not bad. I really thought that it was going to be so much worse. I've been in pub fights where someone has spit on me and I've had my own spit and it's not anything that I would think of drinking in a million years. That darn wizard is usually right about this type of thing so that's why we're sitting here drinking an actual dragon's spit. You know what this tastes like? Have you had the mythical drink Mountain Dew? How about the mythical drink Red Bull? No? This guy came through town claiming he was from the future and brought us a case of both. No one really liked it but I've got to say, this is a better version of both of them mixed together. It makes both of them stomachable. The flavors of both are so intense on their own but together they kind of battle each other down to fifty percent of what they are alone. I don't know if I'd make a habit of drinking my soiled clothes every time I got to the forest to get berries, but I might get less mad. It's rumored to give us energy, too, which we could either choose to fight the dragons, a dumb idea, or run from the dragons which seems like a better idea.

What do you think? Good right? Man, how does that wizard know what he does? He probably sits in that cave-house of his and eats and drinks everything and just records the outcome of each. That sounds gross if you think that part of everything is dirt, rocks, and stuff. Crazy dude. Helpful, but a little crazy.

What are those dragons doing now? Throwing mud at the townspeople? What a bunch of jerks. Seriously. Dragons. They're the worst.

For my snack at work today I brought a half eaten bag of pretzels. It turns out that they were pretty old and stale as can be. Gross sauce. Seeing as I hadn't really eaten all day come 3pm I was starving. There was no food to be found so I downed this to curb my hunger. We've all seen the diet pills episode of Saved by the Bell and know that they are really nothing but caffeine. So I figured caffeine = appetite suppressor. It actually worked, but since my stomach was empty the energy rush made me all crazy. I don't recommend it at all.

When I took the first sip I was shocked by how much I liked the way it tasted. It didn't taste overly diet, but it still had the chemical energy drink flavor that we talk about way to often. With each sip it got worse and worse. About 2/3 through the can it was well along its way to being undrinkable. It's a shame because the normal variety is pretty tasty.

When I saw the name of this company, I was really hoping the logo would be an awesome drawing of a huge angry hornet sinking its stinger into someone and killing them. I feel like that would compliment the name Killer Buzz a lot better than their current can design. Don't get me wrong; it's nice and classy design. To me, it looks more like a sophisticated sparkling juice than an energy drink.

Like most energy drinks, this is a total mock Red Bull taste. It's good because I like the taste of Red Bull. It's definitely working because I am currently listening to the mellow sounds of Eluvium and now I want to listen to something more upbeat. Score one for Killer Buzz!