Turkey - 13 Reviews

Lemonade is great but man is there a lot of sugar in there. Kids don't know portioning or teaspoons from tablespoons. "Who cares?" they say as they dump a cup of sugar into a container that only needs two tablespoons of sugar. Kids are often adorable but their actions can cause grave consequences. This though, adults formulated this drink. People who can read a measuring cup and know how to weigh and properly distribute ingredients. The mix between lemon and sweet, brought to you by your friend the beet, is perfect. It's got a little bit of sour and bitter from the lemon but before you are taken to a citric wasteland, Captain Beets relieves your tongue with some fantastic sweetness. Beets and lemons: together at last.

Cinnamon. I love the stuff. It's sweet and spicy. It can hit both spot on my desire palate. Spicy cinnamon. Sweet cinnamon. Two different animals. Two lovely animals. The kind of animals that could kill you instantly if they wanted but they are totally content with allowing you to put tiny hats on them and take pictures.

Apples are a mixed bag. All apples are good but there are some that are far better than others. I like a nice, crisp, sour green apple. I like it. Red apples are fine but green apples are my joint. One thing that is an exception is when I'm making a snack at home, which is made of apples and cinnamon and sugar. Sure, sometimes I sprinkle some nutmeg on there to really make things exotic but when I'm in a rush and need to slam an apple really quick, it's a red apple and cinnamon sugar from the shaker. Red apples, not green. Why? Well spice and sour don't often mesh well and the red apples are typically sweeter and it's a good compliment to each other. As a Jew, I spent many nights eating apples and honey, which is fantastic, but those were done with red apples, too.

This drink tastes like it's made from green apples, regardless of what is beautifully printed on the front of this bottle. This drink is more of a sparkling green apple drink because it doesn't taste like there is any cinnamon in it whatsoever. Honestly? A pretty big letdown since I was looking forward to it. I thought at the end of a rough week that I could drink this and enjoy my favorite fruit snack in liquid form but I was wrong. Dead wrong. Looks like that adorable cinnamon animal didn't want to wear that fez for me and instead would rather introduce my spleen to its razor sharp claws. He's just doing what he's supposed to do. Can't fault him for that.

While I'm 99.9% it's not sure I really wish this company was associated with Found Magazine. If you are not familiar they collect notes, drawings, list, etc that people randomly find and post them online/in their magazine. It's weird and sometimes boring, but often strangely interesting to catch a glimpse of someone's world.

In the ideal world in my head these sparkling waters were created from recipes that were found on a sidewalk somewhere. You know the owner was just walking along one day, stopped to tie his/her shoe and say a paper laying in the street. The penmanship was interesting looking so they picked it up and it was a handful of recipes for flavored sparkling water. After a quick stop at the market, the ingredients were combined to form wonderfully refreshing sparkling beverages that were so good that a new company was launched.

If that happened to me and these beverages were the result, I certainly would have started the company just so that I could get people to try how great they are. I'm always forcing people to try my drinks, and with something like this I would like to do it on a larger scale. Lucky for me the company already exists, so I can make people buy it, or I could if they were available around Buffalo.

While they call this a sparkling water, I would say that it is a fairly dry soda. As soon as you add sugar to something it ceases to be called water to me. There isn't much sugar in here though, so it is a tad dry, but it's the kind of soda that works better dry. It really tastes like you muddled some cucumber and mint and shoved it into your bottle of sparkling water (with a tad bit of sugar). I fully stand behind any beverage that actually tastes like the things it is named after. There are far too many companies out there that take liberties with flavors. I want what it says on the bottle, and that is exactly what happened here. My mouth couldn't be happier. It's so light and refreshing. It's also a sipping beverage, and not something you find yourself chugging. That is for the best of everyone. Found, never get lost again.

Uludag: a name that strikes fear into the hearts of the common folk. It's the type of name that if this review were an old movie when it was said thunder would crash and lightning would flash. No one knows exactly what sort of evil lies in wait at the center of the Uludag mountains. All that is known if that when men enter the region they never return.

I will let you in on a secret. I know what the heart of the evil is and it goes by the duel names comfort and luxury. You see there is a little town at the summit of one of the mountains, and in that village there is a little shop that sells cans of Uludag cola. The people of the town are so friendly, the view is so exquisite and the cola is so tasty that visitors have no urge to ever return to their old lives. Sometime, early on, someone came up with the idea to start rumors of a monster or demon living in the area to deter people from showing up. No one is a fan of overpopulation; it would just ruin the allure of the town. Whenever a brave young buck ventured forth to vanquish the evil, they would eventually find the town, and be so intrigued by it that they would agree to the terms and stay. The other option would be for them to be publicly hanged, but luckily that option has never even had to be presented. It really is the cola that keeps people in that town. I know all of this because my great uncle lives in said town and once smuggled me out a can. I don't know what it is exactly that makes the cola special, but there is something in it. Unfortunately I could not read the ingredients, or anything on the can for that manner. There is a picture of a telephone, and I am shocked that such a small town in the mountains, that is trying to remain hidden, would advertise a phone number. It is a delicious cola though. At first it tastes like a high quality standard cola, but the more you drink, the more you notice a little something extra that makes it smooth with a little extra taste and it's great.

I just tried to research the language on the can to find out the ingredients, and you know what? My uncle is a big fat liar. There are no rumors of evil in Uludag, it's just a mountain in Turkey where a pop factory is. I feel like an idiot, but at least I know I can score more of this cola.

If Smart Juice isn't one thing, it's a gaggle of liars. Everything I've had from them has been 100% accurate? Now, I'm a world-class scientist, yes, but you don't need to go to school for as long as Jay and myself to know why that is. There is nothing but juice in this here bottle. It's not watered down, sugared up, syruped down, or artificialed. It's just what it is. Pomegranate that makes you tongue shrink and tart cherries that squeeze your cheeks like your great aunt did that you never liked but missed when she stopped doing it.

This was sent to us as a generous gesture and I've been sitting on it for quite some time. Luckily for me, I caught it two months before it expired. It doesn't taste bad, but defiantly has an earthy tone that you would only get from eating a real fruit. Eat more real fruit. If you can't eat it, drink it. If you can't eat it or drink it, draw fake fruit and wish it was real fruit that you could be eating and then wonder what you're doing in Drawing 1 because you are an economics major who isn't even good at painting.

For those not up to snuff on geography, Turkey is more than just delicious meat. It is also a country. Hailing from this country are gems like this drink. Look, it's just a pomegranate juice, but it's good. If you didn't know it was pomegranate, as I didn't since I can't read Turkish, you would assume it's just a regular, old cranberry juice. I can be wrong on occasion, it's alright. I've come to terms that the amount that I'm right has to be counterbalanced by being incorrect sometimes. It's only fair.

So pushing aside the fact that I've messed up the fruits, anyone who has drank cranberry juice and pomegranate juice has to give me a little bit of slack. They're both tart and have similar flavors. If I had to make a decision, like life or death, which one I couldn't live without, it would be pomegranate. They don't need any sugar and aren't mouth shatteringly bitter naturally. Pomegranates involve a decent amount of work that I don't mind putting in. It's fun, busy work. This is nicely sweetened and although some of the people that tasted it with me described it as a bit "cough syrupy", I have to disagree and say that it's a simple, pleasant pomegranate juice. Enhancing the taste is the bottle since it's all swirl and actually rad. I enjoy holding it, drinking out of it and looking at it...it's great. I like it.

Here in Buffalo, we have an event called "Italian Festival." One street, one week, everyone is Italian. Like St. Patrick's day where "everyone is Irish" type thing. The air is filled with the smell of onions and sausage and every other stand sells "Buffalo's Best Cannoli" which is probably a made up term since, and I could be wrong, there is no committee of people going around, charting and graphing the stats behind one city's cannoli.

Since I don't care about anything, including the festival I actually went to, I went to an Indian bodega to see if they had any strange or different drinks. I left with this drink, which isn't from India at all, but from Turkey. Whatever. Who cares, right?

It took me about three months to actually open this carton but when I saw "rosehip nectar", I had to spring into action and slap $2 down and buy it. I've got a pretty good track record when it comes to nectar and although some aren't my favorite, I understand and appreciate their role in the juice family.

This was thin as far as nectars go. I'm not too familiar with the rosehip, but I am familiar enough with nectars to expect more seeds and/or less viscosity. This was seedless and free to flow. I especially noticed how thin it was when my girlfriend cleaned the house and dropped my glass with it inside and I got a very close and intimate inspection of it running under the couch. It was a light flavor that was different that any fruit I have had, but if I had to say it was like anything, I might say that it is half cherry, half watered down and bitterless cranberry juice. It was good and I don't know why they don't make more drinks here the these United States using the...whatever rosehip is.

Yesterday was my favorite day of the year; the first Friday of the Erie County Fair. I'm an old man and an outdoors kid at heart (yes it can both happen simultaneously) so I love the fair. To make things better the first Friday is the day of the annual llama fashion (costume) show. Llamas are pretty much the greatest things to ever exist and to watch kids parade them around in goofy costumes they made is just perfect. As per usual I took off from work and spent the entire day at the fair (11 hours). I came prepared with this energy shot to take to keep me up and moving (I didn't sit down for more than 3 minutes all day).

First off it smelled pretty terrible. It smelled like acai gone wrong. I had a couple friends take a nice big whiff and the disgust was present on the groups collected faces. I gave it a little taste, and it tasted only slightly better than it smelled. I was excited to have an organic energy drink. While it didn't taste gross in the chemical way it was far from good. I'm not a huger acai fan, but this was the worst I've ever had. I was disappointed because I've enjoyed everything else I have tried by this company, but this did not live up to my expectations. I would have probably given it a one bottle rating, but since it's an energy shot, and they never taste good by definition I will give it a two for being the first one I've had that didn't taste chemical.

Organic pomegranate juice is the only thing contained in this bottle. It's the way god, or whoever, planned for juice to be served. I love pure juice. No sweeteners or preservative added. Nothing is reconstituted. It is just mashed fruit with all of the solids strained out. It's insanely strong and tart, but why mess with a pomegranate unless that's your desired effect. For those of you who have lived under a rock for the past ten years awaiting the upcoming rapture (that didn't happen), I will now describe what pomegranate juice tastes like. It is darker than the darkest purple grape. It is actually similar to a purple grape juice, but 100% more concentrated. It also has a certain dryness on your tongue. Overall it's very enjoyable, but it's not something that you can drink a lot of in one sitting. The Folks at Smart Juice are not dummies. If they were their company would be named Dumb Juice. As a result they have these nice little 8.4oz bottles of juice. It's just enough for a little treat.

It's a lazy Sunday morning/afternoon. Just laying around and not doing much. I decided I needed a little lunch and what better way to celebrate mid day than with a pumpernickel bagel and a bottle of cherry juice? I love cherries as a fruit. They are tasty and fun to eat due to all of the pits you get to spit out. This should be incredible. It's nothing but cherry juice. No preservatives. No sweeteners. Absolutely nothing else is in this bottle. As it turns out when you compress so many cherries and don't cut it with water it is intensely strong. Cherries are ridiculously sweet. Even though there is no sugar added to it, it tastes like the filling in a cherry pie. It seriously is that sweet.

If you're a passive cherry fan, you may want to water this down a bit. On the other hand if you are a cherry enthusiast this is probably just what you're looking for. I will admit it was a little too strong for my liking. The bagel on the other hand was pretty stellar.

100% juice is just the way I like it. There is some peach in this mix, but it really doesn't stand a chance with such an overbearing partner like apricot. If this were the DC universe, apricot would represent Batman and peach would be filling the role of Robin. I take that back. Everyone loves Batman, but who really cares about Robin? Peach is far too delicious of a fruit to be Robin. I need to come up with a better superhero team where the sidekick is better than the hero, but where the hero is the center of attention. (I know Batman is not a superhero. In fact, that's what makes him so much better than other heroes). How about Kato and the Green Hornet? I guess that works.

Friends. Ladies. Do you know what is absolutely awful for you? Fig Newtons. I don't know why because I don't think I've ever read the label and I certainly don't work in the factory at night, moonlighting as a janitor only to steal industry secrets.

As rad as that would be, except that every secret spy knows that if they take the job of a janitor, even for one day, they will at some point in their mission have to clean the ladies bathroom which, as we all know, is much worse than the men's bathroom.

This has a peculiar taste. Not bad, just different. I'm not familiar with figs outside of their delicious casing. It's almost like a black current or perhaps a red grape. It's not bitter but it is a sipping juice.

Next time you are doing espionage work at the Fig Newton factory, stop in to the juicer room where I assume they juice real figs to use down the line, and steal a sip.

I can't express how excited I was to get a package full of Smart Juice. So much soda and iced tea gets poured down our throats that it's nice to have a break to enjoy some natural juice. There are two ingredients in this bottle; Organic Pomegranate and Organic Purple Carrot Juice. I've said it before, but this is how juice should be made. Fruit doesn't need sweeteners added to it, and concentrate is just a cop out. Keep it whole. Keep it pure.

This is an intense juice. It's very strong. Mike Tyson strong. This juice could go for the belt and win it without trying much. I could see a lot of people wanting to water it down a bit to suit their tastes more. I applaud Smart Juice for giving us this pure 100% juice. Those of us who like it strong can enjoy it that way. The others can add their own water to dilute it. Pomegranate is the main force behind this powerhouse, but its sidekick purple grape sticks his head in there a little bit. You get a slight hint of carrot, but it's only recognizable as that if you really concentrate. These are the drinks us Thirsty Dudes need to keep up our health.