United States - 4098 Reviews

Woo. Where to start, where to start? From the start? Let's go there. Imagine a fully bearded man in his workshop. Now cover his entire body in a thin layer of sawdust. He's working on a pinewood derby car. It's not quiet, though. Oh no. It's laden with the sound of vacuums, dremels, drill and Howard Jones' "Dream Into Action" on the stereo. A man gets thirsty. When the only thing that is in the fridge is an aphrodisiac energy drink, who cares? That's what you will drink. That's what I did drink. I did not think that it would have done to me what it did.

Here is the back-story of the day for me, diet-wise. I had a bowl of cereal around nine and it is now around three and I have an empty stomach. Whatever. I do what I want. I grabbed that drink and slammed it. It was great, too. It was slightly fruity, slightly carbonated with just a touch of that "energy drink" taste. Enough that it was still good. Comparable to the new Red Bull drinks, if you've had those. This was good. Promptly, two things happened, though. At the snap of fingers, the caffeine started to course through me like all my blood was replaced with it. In addition to that I got that thirty-six hour flu that everyone got. So I've got awkward dizziness and nonstop shaking due to drinking an energy drink on an empty stomach. I was like that the rest of the day. Virtually out of commission. I couldn't get to sleep until about four in the morning. I just lay there watching the hands cruise through the clock.

Now if that was that than that would be that, but it wasn't. One more thing and this might have been psychosomatic but it's worth mentioning if only for it's humor. The day I drank this, I could have filled up the boner quota of a ninth grade boy. It's absolutely humiliating but they would come and go like waves on the shoreline. I mention this because if it was supposed to do this, holy crap did it work. I felt like I should have had an English textbook to cover my genitals with throughout the day.

Two incredible images wrapped into one review of a fantastic energy drink. If you are too tired to get it on with your significant other, drink this. Just make sure to eat some food first.

I'm a bit out of season at this point with this drink, but it got lost in the piles of beverages that make up a majority of the room that was once a kitchen in my house. In reality things haven't gotten that out of control, but a large portion of my fridge, several cupboards and a shelf have all been claimed by Thirsty Dudes “to be reviewed” drinks. As you can imagine drinks do often get forgotten in the “shuffle.”

Now that I am finally getting around to drinking this, I'm a bit bummed that I didn't drink it sometime last year (2-3 months ago for those of you reading this in future times. Do hoverboards exist yet? I really hope so. I've already been waiting on those things for decades.). On a nice unseasonably warm fall day this would have been quite fitting. Not so much on a blustery January evening. I feel like I should be walking around a park with a dog and picking up sticks for the fallen leaves for the dog to play fetch with. The idea of wearing only a hoodie and jeans is like a dream now. I fear my fingers may succumb to frostbite as I type this. Anyway, it would be a nice Sunday afternoon, the sun will be bright in the sky, my dog companion will be having the time of his life, not knowing that cold fronts that will soon be moving in, and I'd be sipping on this little bottle of spiced goodness.

This is sweet and has more milk in it than any serious coffee drinker would like. Lucky for me I am not a serious coffee drinker, so I enjoyed it a bit. The pumpkin spice isn't very strong, and also isn't very pumpkin like. It tastes like someone added half of a shot of chai to some iced coffee. It's good I like it. My imaginary dog also liked it when he thought it was the stick and jumped at me, thus knocking it out of my hand in the made up scenario in my head. Dr. Leo Marvin you sure are an annoying dog sometimes. Just for that I shall not take you sailing with me in my upcoming imagined vacation.

You know how I like my coconut drinks? When they don't taste like coconut. {pause for laughter} I like coconut just fine in small amounts shaven atop an iced cream but in drinks, unless they are ice friggin' cold, as far away as possible. They're typically just dusty, chalky messes of liquid that should have never been made in the first place. Yeah, I know it's harsh but I don't give a rip. Drink like a normal person and tell me you haven't had to refrigerate a drink to refresh it or just flat out thrown it in the filth can. Come on. Be honest. I don't care. I've dumped plenty of drinks because of those reasons. Sure, I drink more than the normal person, but in ratio, aren't we all the same?

This drink held on to its decency for longer than most. It had an "orange drink" taste more than an actual fruit but it wasn't a bad taste. The entire time it did taste like coconut but they don't make coconut drinks to completely disguise the core flavor. That's just stupid. It was almost like you watered down juice with some coconut water. Neither flavors are bold and in your face but rather subtle and, dare I say, nice.

Coconut, you're getting better. I now have the power to go into the blistering cold and get my little buddy from day care. Without you, I might have just left him there to fend for himself in the snow to take the bus home and be a friggin' man. You're almost two. Get a job and take the bus.

Do you think that Nu South was inspired by Nu Metal? I certainly hope so. Look, joke about nu metal all you want but seriously, some of those southern dudes can shred. Finger blistering solos, just destroying the neck. Calluses that could hold hot irons for an extended period of time. I wonder if the dudes from Slipknot, even though they are not from the South but are nu metal, blow the crowd away with an awesome set and then go backstage, sit on a couch together, all eight or nine of them, it's a sectional with a couple additional sections. What? It's in their rider. Anyhow, they sit down and the stagehand hands them a case of of Nu South?

On a hot summer day in the South, a cool glass of this would probably be pretty good. A lukewarm bottle on a nineteen-degree day after doing nothing in the North East doesn't do this drink justice. It's got that strange "is it carbonated or is some garbage ingredients just tickling my throat?" Slipknot doesn't care. They are all sweating from thrashing and wearing masks and jump suits in the hot, Southern sun. They just want to chug lemonade, I'm sure. It's not terrible lemonade. It's got the makings of something great and tastes good except for the questionable, sharp taste.

Look, Slipknot is good. Kids love them. I like them a lot. Honestly, their first LP was great, Iowa, not their best, but Volume 3 is incredible. Like them or don't like them. They are good. Just deal with it. Slipknot members zero through eight, any time you guys want to do a guest review, you know where to find us. Keep up the good work.

Vanilla, Licorice, Cinnamon, Clove, Spice, Pep, Pizzazz...Some root beers have these ingredients in them. They excel and are the ones that we, self-proclaimed professionals, enjoy the most. Root Beer is a dime a dozen, like a cola, but an exceptional one comes few and far between. We are always on the lookout for the next great drink. Most of the time we come up short. It's not a loss because we have to weed through stuff to get to the gems and we have found some in all categories of drink.

This one will be dumped in the "the rest" bucket. It tastes like root beer and nothing else. I know, if you are drinking a root beer you want it to taste like a root beer but who is happy with a C? Yeah, I passed, what more do you want from me? It might and probably is the "diet" of this drink that makes it just an average thing. The sucralose really takes a dump on the potential of this drink, figuratively speaking. Sucralose has no digestive system and still sucks without it.

Growing up, my best friend's parents were from England, right off the boat. Liverpool, if you must know. I would spend many nights and most weekends over there whether it be playing video games, listening to music, making fake radio shows on cassette tapes, or other kid stuff.

Being British, they stereotypically love tea. They drank it all the time. They also loved 70's prog-rock, which I wish now I could tell fourteen year old me to pay attention to. They bought me loose tea, which to this day, I prefer to bagged tea, and would keep it "local" and get me Earl Gray. I went a decade without drinking it after I went to college but now we have a Keurig and it came with this tea. I like this stuff. Yes, I add a smidge of sugar to it, but it's still keeping in the British way. This tea has a pretty nice lemon taste, which I don't really remember in my old cups of tea. It's good though and I have made multiple cups of it since we got the box of it. I might be the only one.

Growing up I never talked about the queen but we talked primarily of the Queen as in Freddie Mercury. Phil Collins, Genesis, Yes, Jimi Hendrix, and the like. They listened to their music loud, too. I miss that house. Maybe I'll pay a visit next time I visit my parent's. My son loves the mom because she always gives him ice cream. How could you not?

Look. Everyone knows that one of my favorite pops is Hansen's Cherry Vanilla Cream. Hansen's owns Blue Sky. This is cherry vanilla cream and that is cherry vanilla cream. So why isn't this as good? I don't know. This is great. No doubt about it. It doesn't have as many calories, still has a great taste, and is actually pretty easy for me to find. I think that the one thing that is different is that this is less smooth, probably less cream or creme depending on where you live. French? Creme. American? Cream.

It's odd. They had it. It also seems strange that a subsidiary company would make such an iconic, specific drink as their parent, but they did. It's not far off and it's definitely not a failure, it's just not my baby.

I've had enough of the winter and I don't think it's even halfway done. We haven't even had that much snow, but the cold has kept me indoors and everything is grey and it's just killing me. What I'm going to do is get myself a white noise machine that is just the sounds of the ocean; you know waves, birds, an occasional foghorn an of course the soothing sounds of pirates. With those noises gracing my ears, I will jack up the heat in my house as high as it will go, set up some photo shoot lamps facing me, dump a few pounds of sand on my floor and sit in a lawn chair. I will then close my eyes and dream that I am sitting in the doorway of my oceanside cabana. I'm there just thinking about it. Since I'm pretending I'm in the blazing sun I should really be drinking lemonade. Since I am going to be in a mind cabana then this is the lemonade I will choose. In addition to having an appropriate name, this drink is summer in a bottle. It's made from real lemon juice and that gives it a nice homemade taste. The strawberry flavor falls under “natural flavors” on the ingredients list, but it is enough to taste like someone smashed a couple of berries into a glass of chilled lemon bliss. The real kicker in this is that Cabana uses both cane sugar and stevia, so the sugar content is less than one would expect. Somehow they worked it out so that you can't taste the stevia at all. I didn't even realize it was there until I checked to see how much sugar was in here and I got a pleasant surprise.

This experiment will also hopefully lead to a pleasant surprise, when my cats hopefully don't decided that the living room is now one big litter box. I need the sun and warmth in my life, not a house full of cat turds.

When people make a blanket statement and call all soda "sugar water", I immediately want to cry out and tell them about all the amazing sodas I have had that are far from sugar water.

Then I had this soda, and understood what they meant. There is barely any raspberry flavor in this Windex looking soda. Liquid Jolly Ranchers at it's worst. I thought this was going to be a sweet treat for myself, but I was sadly disappointed.

This is one of those beverages that walks the line between a soda pop and sparkling juice. I really don't even know how I make the differentiation any more. I guess if there is no sweeteners added it is just sparkling juice by default. It could also be said that if it is sweetened with HFCS, or has an overabundance of sugar in it, it is classified as a soda. This has sugar added to it, but it's evaporated cane juice, and it falls under juice on the ingredients list. I'm just going to proclaim that it is both, as in the larger scheme of life it does not matter at all. What does matter is that it is delicious. Just this morning my girlfriend pulled out a container of blackberries that she had been hiding from me in the fridge. I can't blame her, when they are put in front of me I can't stop myself and I just keep eating them until they are gone. Case in point I think she ate 2 or 3 today and I ate the rest of them. I would say I was a glutton, but it's fruit, so does that even count as gluttonous? The important thing is I have the memory of the actual fruit fresh in my mind, and this drink is not far from it. The berries they used taste like they weren't completely ripe, but I know that is actually how a lot of people prefer their blackberries. It's just a little more tart than one would expect from a berry soda. That is helped by the low amount of sugar that is added to it. There are only 13g of sugar in this bottle and in the world of non-diet sodas that is like nothing. This is a beverage that tastes great that you don't have to feel guilty about drinking.

First impression: this can looks like a "fancy" designer t-shirt you would find at a flea market for $9.99. Also, (much like the Monster Cuba-Lima) this can is textured, adding to the weird image I have of a 11 year old wannabe gangsta from the suburbs exclaiming "Whoa, that can matches my shirt!" which his mom bought him in the boys section of JC Penny. The name of this drink also seems like something said kid (let's call him Chad) would have made up 2 years prior as he was watching Power Rangers Ninja Storm.

Of course Chad will deny he made up his own Power Ranger named Zero Ultra when he's drinking this, even if he secretly still has the cover he drew of Zero Ultra Comics #1 in his closet. Six months from now he will also stop wearing this weird patterned shirt that matches this because his "cooler" friend will say it isn't cool anymore. But at least Chad had a moment where he was a trendsetter and Monster was behind on the times for once.

It's a shame the can and name of this drink are so bad because the drink is actually really good. It tastes like a Squirt snow cone. It's smooth and refreshing, and isn't as sweet as most energy drinks. My advice to Monster: keep making the textured cans, but design the cans better.

Cathy, sometimes the things you do at dinner really upset me. No, I am being serious. You really embarrassed me in front of our friends. I don't know why you feel like you can just say those things in front of them. Do you feel like you are protected and that I'm not going to say anything? If you have something to say, just say it. I would much rather hear it from you in the privacy of our own home than have you express your issues in front of people.

Look, I don't know why I'm being so hard on you. It's almost February and I haven't seen the sun in months. It really sucks, Cathy. It's not your fault. What's that? You bought me something at the market before we went to dinner? That's sweet of you. What is it? Oh, lemonade. That's awesome, Cath. Thank you so much. I'm going to dive into this right now.

Oh, Cathy. My dear sweet Cathy. You are an absolute angel. This is perfect right now. Lemonade is a summertime drink and I now have a glimmer of hope of making it through another winter. It's tart and sweet but not too much of either. It doesn't have any aftertaste of anything and has all natural ingredients, too. You really thought this through. Good pick, Cathy. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. You know how this weather gets to me. Come over here and let me give you a big smooch. Here, let me whisper something in your ear. Come here......I know you've been cheating on me.

Okay soldiers, this is your training for the Great Citrus Army. You will enter here oranges, but many of you will leave as so much more. Some of you will also be rejected and be forced into the concentrate army. No one wants to see that happen, so try your best and show us what you are made of. It is the time to find out if you are a TropiCANa or a TropiCAN'Ta.

Today you will be paired up with the pineapple division. Those of you who are lucky enough to pass this test will end up bleeding along with the respected pineapples and will become an elite force that is greater as a whole then it's individuals. Only the strongest of oranges will make it into this regiment: those of strong flavor, and those who are not afraid to be separated from their pulp. This is a pulpless unit folks, and I don't want to hear any complaints otherwise. Sure we all love a little bit of chunk in out drinks, but that in not what this is about. Also, be warned that there will be no sugar added to this unit, so you will have nowhere to hide. You're flavors will be laid bare.

You oranges will be at the forefront fighting bravely so that the few pineapples can sneak behind enemy lines to unleash their flavor. It is never too strong, but it's there enough to let the enemy know who is boss. They have even enlisted to help of a lone peach to aid them in the advancement of their flavor.

This is what we've been fighting for soldiers, so let's show them what we're made of. To Morning and Beyond!

I occasionally, well...more than occasionally get behind in my drinks and start "taking from the front." Anyone who has ever restocked shelves knows that is a no-no. Yogurt is expiring, milk is curdling, children are crying because of the results of my actions. Jay came over and set me straight by spending ten minutes in my back room, pulling out all my old stock, organizing my current back stock, stealing a couple drinks for himself, and being a generally great dude as per usual.

Among the old stock was this drink, which I had no idea I had. A chocolate cola: can you imagine? It's two great inventions in one bottle, ready for my drinking pleasure. Forgotten like it never happened. Poor, dusty bottle. I took everything Jay said needed to be reviewed due to companies sending it to us or expiration date to work and here we are, finally, after all these cold nights alone, together at last. Two objects, looking deep into each other's eyes, wanting each other. Desire. I took off the bottle's top lustfully only to be delivered with what I can only describe in the current context as "me doing most of the work." You feel me, ladies and gentlemen? It's not a great cola in itself. It's not a great chocolate taste in itself. Together cancels each other out more so leaving me looking to find pleasure elsewhere. It smells like a bowl of Tootsie Pops but it only tastes slightly like chocolate. The cola is non-existent.

While I'm not having actual sex with a bottle of pop, if it were good enough, I might at least think about it. This is a regrettable one night stand who is nice outside of the bedroom. She smells good, is a great person to talk to, but you should have never taken it further than that.

This isn't Brisk, it's not PureLeaf and it certainly isn't their 100% natural line. What we have here is just plain old Lipton lemon iced tea. I actually don't think I have ever even seen this before until this bottle made its way into my grubby little hands (okay my hands are actually quite large, which is awkward since my ladyfriend's hands are tiny. I don't suggest this combo).

This doesn't taste all that different from their Brisk line. If anything it tastes like it's homemade from some powdered tea mix. Man, I haven't had that stuff in at least 15 years. I used to get it and make insanely strong/sweet tea that I would always have in my backpack. I bet I couldn't even get a gulp of that stuff down nowadays. This tastes like what that tea would have tasted like had I followed the directions. It's not bad. It's just average. It's like what you would expect to get if they had tea on tap at Applebees or some garbage place like that. Ugh, those restaurants are the worst.

I decided I need/want to get into better shape. I'm not going to lie, I'm a chubby dude. I can only blame the beverages from this site so much (seeing as both the other 'dudes' have reviewed much more than me and still weigh much less than me). And no, this is not a "new years resolution" because I joined a gym 2 months before New Years. I just decided today to start getting serious about it.

I did yoga for the first time in a while today and I came to the conclusion that I need something better than pajamas to work out in. So after dinner today, Jenna and I went to Old Navy because I had a gift card from X-mas. I proceeded to purchase 2 different kinds of workout pants and a pair of mesh shorts to workout in.

Did you know Old Navy sells drinks? I've passed by the cooler several times but have never given it more than a half glance. Today they had a decent selection of Jones soda and I had never seen this one so I grabbed it without thinking on the way to the counter. I guess that's how they get you.

Like I expected, this is basically a cream soda with a strong vanilla taste. Even though I'm pretty used to diet soda fake sugars, this has a chemically aftertaste that I don't like. So close Jones, so close.

I've got a special friend coming over later and I have everything just right to set the mood. I have dinner in the oven, I have the lights slightly dimmed, and I got a little boss nova beat playing in the background. I even went as far as to get this juice to accompany the music. Things need to be just right to make this a magical evening. I hope that this juice not being the greatest doesn't throw off the vibes I'm trying to throw out there. I was hoping for it to be heavier on the blueberry side than the acai, but we don't always get what we hope for. It certainly starts off with a nice strong blueberry taste, but then about a half a second late you are punched in the tongue by acai. No lie every single sip it happens. Acai is just such a strong taste that I know is hard to overcome. Using it is worth it though due to its health benefits. If you hate the flavor of said fruit, like I know a lot of people do, I would stay away from this juice. I mean what would you be doing buying an acai juice if you know you're going to hate it anyways.

Oh there's the doorbell. Mike is finally here. What? No I wasn't preparing for sexy times. Mike is bringing over his drum machine and new keyboard and we're going to write some songs. Why would I make tacos for sexy time? WE just decided we've already wrote enough songs about BBQs so it's about time we moved onto tacos…€¦and bossa nova beats.

ps. This is obviously a made up story because Mike would never use the doorbell. What isn't made up is that we have written probably over 100 songs about BBQs over the past 8 years. Sadly, none have used a crappy bossa nova beat.

What a day, right? I got a new phone that doesn't really work well, I have an old lady next door that doesn't want to call the insurance company about her house falling apart onto my fence and car, and I have juice. Great. Is it a great juice? Eh, it's good. It's kind of thick, if I may be so blunt. It's appley tangy and if I may be blunter, I like a little more fruit in my punch. This is a simple punch. The model, if you will. Grapes, apples, crappy pears, cherry. If I went to a party, I would dig in and leave a quarter of the fruit, i.e.: pears, in the bowl. It's good, though. Simple. Elegant. If you went to a black tie affair, this is the punch you would have. If you are wearing a black tie, you're too good for things like mangoes and/or pineapples. Please. Import fruit. This is a fancy affair. Look at the women wearing hats. This is fancy. If you're eating passion fruit, you get downstairs with the help. We're drinking punch up here.

If there is truly a substantial amount of coconut water in this bottle to pass on the health benefits to me then Naked has done a wonderful thing. The flavor/chalkiness of the coconut water is all but indecipherable. That might turn some people off, but for someone who loves juice and is okay with coconut water, but wouldn't actively buy it, this is perfect. You have peaches and guavas living in harmony as they pass over your tongue to their deaths in your digestive system. They apparently already raided the coconut camp and were celebrating when I decided to drink this. Poor dead coconuts.

What is there to be surprised about? You like green apples and you like jalapenos. Together how could it be bad? Sure, it's strange. You get green apple, which is sour and sweet, and you've got jalapeno, which is spicy hot. Where it gets strange is that the tastes are close but not totally accurate.

The green apple doesn't take like a green apple or even what candy green apple tastes like. It tastes like a green apple Airhead where it's delicious but almost a green apple flavored soft plastic. The jalapeno is not jalapeno at all as much as it is the burn from a ginger beer. It's spicy so in the sense that peppers are hot, this is hot, but you know what? Lemons and bananas are the same color but taste different. A red car and a red apple are the same color but taste different. It seems a bit misleading but I will accept the argument of "hot is hot" and I can throw down my gloves and accept a truce.

This is good. If you had a ginger beer but replaced the ginger with a green apple Jolly Rancher, you'd be on the right track. It's got a nice burn after a childish, green apple flavor. I bet kids would like this more than adults for that reason. A spicy pop is great for adults but the candiness of it knocks it down to the kid-zone. Regardless of age, if you see this try it because it's totally different than any pop you've ever tried. Sure I broke it down pretty simply so you know what to expect but still, you aren't going to see it coming.