No Sugar Added - 718 Reviews

Some people have things for older ladies. I hate to say it but I'll say it because we're all adults here but the acronym is MILF. Kids, if you're reading this, please don't look that up. Keep doing your homework. Some people, a smaller percentage, go for older ladies. That acronym is GILF. Kids, once again, do no look that up. Continue doing your homework.

This tea would be the "secret sauce" to get the older ladies in the mood to put in the real work. A little rooibos, vanilla, safflower and rose in this guy and those ladies will be talking about the Victorian era and all sorts of old crap. This smells like an older lady but it tastes pretty good. I'm not saying that older ladies don't taste good but I don't often touch my tongue to them. Sorry older ladies. Maybe one day. Kids, if you're still reading this, your daddy is going to be sore at you for not finishing your homework.

This tastes fine. I was worried. I have had rose drinks before, mostly from India but this one, in all its domestic nature, is weaker than that. We're new to it. Please forgive us, India. Please forgive us daddies for not letting your children get their homework done because of their curious nature. We warned them otherwise. They don't listen. They're kids. Maybe you should make them some of this tea to calm them down and make them more suitable to bring to your parent's house.

Now Marty, I just came over to say how sorry I am about last night. We both know that things got out of hand, and under any normal circumstance I never would have hit you the way I did. You just have to understand I can be a passionate man, and when you go around literally yelling from a rooftop that the Red Hot Chili Peppers are the greatest American rock band of all time and that Anthony Kiedis is a god you have to expect a right cross to the chin.

I'm not here apologizing for punching you, but I am here to express regret that I broke your jaw, and that it is now wired shut. There's going to be a lot of time passing before you can eat solid foods again. I know how much you love your daily salad, so I brought you over a bunch of these Salad Power drinks. They are essentially what you would have if you made a salad and then threw it in a juicer, sans the dressing of course. Try this one. It's got kale, celery, carrot, bell pepper, cucumber, tomato, spinach and to mix things up a bit there is also a little apple in it. How does it taste? I can't understand you Marty, you just sounds like mumbles. Just hand it over and I'll give it a taste. Well that really does taste like a liquefied salad, and the apple gives it a nice sweetness that would take away the need for dressing that most people would probably have. You can really make out all of the flavors. The apple is definitely the strongest though. Also, this really does not smell very good, but at least you'll be able to get your nutrients and the taste of the salad you love. What's that? I still can't understand you. Why don't you write it down? “This would be better if it had chili peppers in it because RHCP are the greatest band ever!” Man, you really are asking for it Marty.

Where do you get your coconuts from? Indonesia? What a poser. “Oh, I get my coconuts from the country that is the leading producer of them!” Brazil man, that's where you should be getting them from. They produce only about 7% as many coconuts as Indonesia so they are of a higher quality, right. This is like craft coconut water, smaller batches means a better product? Oh, that logic doesn't work out in this world. Well I still love those Brazilian coconuts. That's why I drink Yuvia coconut water. It's just the liquid from inside coconuts and vitamin C. I don't know if I'm imagining it, but it tastes a bit sweeter than its competitors products and it's all natural. It's simple, it's healthy, it's hydrating and it's refreshing. What else could you want from a pure coconut water, unless you want to crack the shell open yourself and put in the real work.

I have never met a child that didn't love grape juice. I believe it is nationally the preferred juice of pre-teens. It has a slight harshness to it, while still being sweet and delicious that makes it incredibly alluring. I know I still love it as an adult, but I rarely drink it because I tend to go overboard, which leads to stomach aches. Why am I talking about grape juice when I should be filling your mind with tales of perhaps the greatest fruit ever to exist, the blackberry? Well the fact of the matter is that even though this is labeled as a blackberry juice it's mostly grape juice with pear juice coming in second. It is still 100% juice but a smaller percent that I would like it to be is actually blackberry juice. I mean for a $3 price tag I wasn't expecting pure blackberry, so this isn't really a letdown. What it is is still delicious. It's like someone poured a glass of grape juice and dumped a handful of fresh ripe blackberries in it (even though there are no chunks in here). It's mostly grape but the unmistakable flavor of the dark berry is definitely there and it does nothing but improve an already great juice. As for the pear juice, who cares? Pears are boring and it's normally used to add sweetness with a flavor that is hard to locate.

I would probably pay dumb money for a full glass of straight ripe blackberry juice, but I will happily accept this less expensive substitute all day long…€¦until that previously mentioned stomach ache shows up and ruins my party.

Ahh these seasonal flavors. This little number, inspired by fantastic Spaniards, is wonderful. I've been milking it all day and it's been nice to me. For eight hours, the sparkles have remained as has the flavor and all day I have been able to enjoy the fantastic flavor of pomegranate sangria. Have I ever had a real sangria? Nope. It sound like an adult fruit punch. Is that was it is? If so, I don't know if I would drink it even if I did drink. This, though. This I would drink all the darn time and no one would accuse me of having a drinking problem, you know, because it's just water. I guess drinking problems aren't explicitly assigned to alcohol but I think when you say it, that's where your head goes. To alcohol. This would be a nice alternative if you both loved and had a problem with drinking sangria. I'm trying to help you. Help me help you, friend.

All the protein. I need all of it. I need to bulk up. Who has time for the gym. I'm going to slam all of the chocolate milks just to see what it would look like if I was chiseled out of marble. Wait...that's not how that works? I just cancelled my gym membership and in exchange spent my membership fee on chocolate milk. I've already drank eleven of them today.

Am I going to be alright? What poisoning? Protein poisoning? Really? Oh man. What do I do? Can I do a cranberry cleanse or something? Do I need to make myself throw up? Eleven milks. I can't believe I did that. How? Well it actually wasn't that hard. It tastes like a melted Wendy's Frosty. Who couldn't drink 154 ounces of Frosty. 154 ounces of chocolate milk? Oh man.

This day will go down in infamy as the one of the dumbest days of my life. I've got to reverse this by going on a cleanse. At least it wasn't a really rich, thick chocolate milk and was closer to the stuff you would make at home. I might have really put on some pounds. I guess we'll see what happens tomorrow. Probably a big poop. Hopefully a big poop.

You know how for decades stoners have been shouting from the rooftops (more likely their parent's basements) that marijuana is a magical plant that can fix everything? Well it seems like they might have been (partially) right. Scientists have come out to prove that there are many health benefits that can be derived from the plant and it can actually be used to treat a good deal of diseases and such. It's due to this that we have medical marijuana. According to the little packet I received with this tea it's the cannabidiol (CBD) that is the ingredient in the plant that has all of the health benefits and not the tetrahydrcannabinol (THC) aka the part that gets you high. So here is where the line gets drawn between those who actually care about health and those who were just looking for excuses so they could get high legally. I also learned that hemp and marijuana are actually two different varieties of the same herb and that hemp has very low amounts of THC and doesn't really get you high. I wonder how many stoners know that fact.

ViPova has taken CBD oil and added it to a black tea. Instead of rolling a joint, or packing a bowl you simply boil some water, pour it into your favorite mug and let the tea bag steep and you're on your way to promoting health and fighting disease. Here at Thirsty Dudes, we are generally more concerned with flavor over functionality, but I have to admit that this is really interesting information that I read today. Sure this tea has a higher price tag than normal teas you'd find in the grocery store, but this is essentially medicine, so it makes sense.

I have drunk other beverages derived from hemp before and they all have had a rope-ish taste to them. Since this not brewed hemp and just CBD oil added to black tea that taste was not there are all. It really just tasted like black tea that had a splash of milk added to it (it contains non-fat dry evaporated milk for some reason). From a tea point of view that is not very impressive, but when you think of how terrible most medicine tastes that fact that it is this good for you and just tastes like tea is pretty fantastic.

During my college years I went to way too many shows. As a result I was broke most of the time and unfortunately I had to miss even more shows than I went to because of a lack of cash flow. One day my friends were hanging out at my place and they were all going to see some bands play. I can't for the life of me remember who, but I remember I was bummed that I didn't have money to go. I had so little money that my dinner was pickles, mozzarella cheese and mustard sandwiches. My friend Jill offered to pay my way into the show if I chugged all of the juice that was left in the pickle jar. Being young and dumb I gulped it down without a second thought. It was a big jar and there was a lot of juice involved. As a result I did not feel all that well during the aftermath, but we went to the show and I'll assume I had a good time. Here I am 15+ years later and I remember nothing about the show, but I can very clearly recall the way my stomach felt after chugging so much pickle juice. I am also about to take a show of pickle juice to review on my dumb website about beverages. I love pickles, but I am not looking forward to this because of my memories. Oh well here goes nothing.

Yup, that tastes just like pickle juice. My friend asked what they did with all of the pickles they used to make the juice from. While I would love to say that all of the pickles at some restaurant or another were associated with this juice I think it's pretty safe to say that this is just a culmination of all the ingredients used to make dill pickles, minus the actual cucumber. My stomach feels okay. It's certainly weird to drink just pickle juice, but it's wasn't horrible. I feel like I just ate a whole mess of pickles and I'm okay with that.

The purpose of this drink is that it is supposed to help with muscle cramping, so it is helpful while exercising. I'm about to paint the ceiling of my deck, so I'm sure my neck and shoulder will be feeling not so great afterwards. Here's to hoping this helps.

This is the shot version of the mix that Mike reviewed a while ago. I had anticipated this being harsh and intense, the way most shot drinks are and because the fruits that it is composed of can taste that way in their natural state. I was happily surprised that it actually went down very smooth. It has a little bit of a children's vitamins taste to it, but in real life fruit way. It's all natural and you can tell by the taste. All of the grit at the bottom of the bottle also lets you know that it's natural. Anything artificial would be in trouble with the FDA for having that kind of residue.

The naturally sparkling, salt free air that this company makes is my favorite. Oh wait that's not Perrier, that is Perri-air a hysterical fictional product from the Mel Brooks vehicle Space Balls. That is a great gag though. If you don't think so, you're either too young, or have no soul. You can be sure the science is solid behind that remark as well.

Even though it has been around forever this may be the first Perrier product I have ever drunk. It's sparkling mineral water and that is something that until recently I had no interest in. I've tried a few pink grapefruit seltzer waters and there is a difference between them and this flavored mineral water. I think I may actually prefer this because it has more substance. The grapefruit flavor isn't as strong and you can taste the minerals. It's a nice change up, and I'll certainly be drinking more of it. I never thought I would be sitting at home on a Saturday night drinking a bottle of Perrier. Oh how strange life has become.

We do a lot of complaining here on Thirsty Dudes about false advertising. There are a good number of companies out there that are trying to pull a fast one on the consumers. Salad Power does not fall into that category. From their name to the statement that is 2.75 servings of vegetables per carton they are dead on. The only ingredients in this Tetra Pak are water, carrot, mango, kale, spinach, tomato, celery, green bell pepper and cucumber (oh and ascorbic acid). It is quite literally a drinkable salad. A commercial for this product could be someone painstakingly putting together a salad so that it looks visually appealing and just when it's perfect they dump it into a juicer. They would then smile as they are walking out the door drinking it with a straw. It's salad on the go people.

I like this and I don't like it at the same time. The concept of it is great, but the problem for me is there are things I eat around in a salad (namely tomato and celery). With this drink I can't do that and it kind of ruins an otherwise enjoyable juice for me. Let's be fair though, I am the weirdo in this aspect of my life and most people have no problem with those ingredients. The mango adds a nice sweetness to the liquid salad and makes it like some fancy salad from a nicer restaurant. I don't even know if that is true, as I rarely if ever go to anywhere except my 4 staples at home. I want to love this. I should love this. You will probably love this. Get healthy. Drink your vegetables. Next time can we just forgo the celery and switch the tomatoes out for beets?

"More mushrooms!" screamed Tony. Tony loved mushrooms. He loved all sorts. Chanterelles, Morel, Portobello, Shiitake, Oyster. It didn't matter. Tony had space in his basement dedicated to just mushroom growing. He would eat them as much long as he could get his hands on them.

One day a box came in the mail. It was a box of assorted juices. What made it special is that it was derived from a mushroom. He took one sip and knew it was the drink for him. It didn't taste like mushroom but it did taste like a nice, fruity puree. Sure he would have liked it to just taste like mushrooms but knowing that it came from mushrooms was good enough. It tasted like a dark, sweet berry but was thicker than a regular juice.

He contacted the company, graciously thanked them and hung up the phone and went back into the basement to make a mushroom salad with a side of mushroom dressing. Yeah, Tony was a strange dude but a really healthy dude.

I could go for whatever a mai tai is right about now. A nice tropical trip to somewhere where there is a warm breeze, warm waters and no kids. Just sitting in a chair with no one talking to me for like an hour. No music or people trying to sell me an umbrella. No shirt. Just the wind and the waves, man. That and this mai tai.

This is certainly tropical. I don't know what else is in here but there are certainly orange. There is a picture of an orange and a pineapple and if I think hard enough, that's in here. This is great, though. It's really a well flavored little treat. A summer treat, but a treat nonetheless.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be the first to admit that beet juice isn't for everyone. It has a very early taste that borders on it tasting like there was still soil on the beet before it was juiced. It's also a thick, quasi-pulpy drink and that turns a lot of people off. I for one am a fan. I've never had a beet juice that did not taste natural and healthy. I like an earthy taste in my beverage. It makes it feel more real, as if you got it directly from a farm. If you have a problem with beets, then what on Earth are you doing with a beverage called Beet Performer? You're obviously not going to like it, especially since it only has two ingredients; beetroot juice and passion fruit juice. I know, you're probably thinking that the passionfruit will overpower the beet flavor, but you are wrong. This is 80% beet. 20% passionfruit, as far as flavor goes. A majority of that is just the sweetness from the passionfruit anyway. I'm a big fan of this. It's simple, it tastes exactly like it should, and on top of that it's good for you. Beers are high in nitrates which aid in the delivery of oxygen to muscles and they also aid in cardiovascular wellness. Embrace the beet and the beet will embrace you.

Gazpacho, right? Never eaten the stuff. You know what I have done, though? I've drank it. You know what else I've done? I really liked it. I would eat this and I would drink it. I would use this as a meal replacement. This is more of a bisque than a tomato soup which I like because tomato soup is a vile, revolting putrid food. This, though, this is good. It's got a good texture and you can taste everything. Tomato, onions, cucumbers and everything.

I half expected this to be gross. It's soup in a bottle. Who drinks soup? Crazy people. That's who. Whom? Who cares? Whom cares?

Oh man, I really feel like a fool. I'm supposed to bring these five watermelons to a party, and my car won't start. It's close enough to ride my bike, but there's no way I could carry all of these melons. Sure I could probably do one, possibly even two, but five? No way. Wait, I know, my roommate just got a juicer. I'll mash these things down into a functional size and I'm sure it will be ridiculously refreshing and the hit of the party. I can carry two gallon jugs, no problem.

Wow, this juicer is great, that took maybe five minutes. Sure It would take me about 20 to clean the juicer, but I'm sure no one will think I'm a bad roommate if I just left it dripping on the counter (here's a secret, I would be a terrible person if I did that). This made way less juice than I expected. Five melons gave me less than one gallon. Oh well, at least it will be easy to carry on my bike. I should round it out with this white grape juice and pomegranate juice just to make it a full gallon. I should also taste it to make sure it's okay. Wow, adding those juices didn't really do much flavor-wise. This tastes exactly like concentrated down watermelon, and it even has a little bit of texture to it. It's way less watery than I had expected. I guess those other juices did add a sweetness to this, that is borderline harsh, but this is going to blow everyone's mind at the party. This is the perfect drink for sitting in the blazing sun with people that you don't really want to talk to, but feel obligated to. I think I reinvented summer.

There is a phrase in my industry that is awful called "it is what it is." It's basically a way of saying, "It sucks but we're fine with it." This, though. This truly and sadly "is what it is."

This is pickle juice. This is only pickle juice. This is exclusively pickle juice. I don't know what I expected. I thought that it might be...different. It's not. It's just pickle juice. What did I give it such an average rating? Well because I love pickles. I don't know if this brine would make a high quality pickle. I've been living with an increasingly pregnant girlfriend who has been stereotypically craving pickles which I'm more than cool with. I mean, they're a wonderful food that you can do wonders with. This seems like it would make pretty average pickles. Hence, an average rating.

There have been scientific studies that have shown that pickle juice helps with muscle cramping, so this at least serves a purpose. I expect to see all of those pro athletes out there downing pickle juice instead of Gatorade. Just imagine how the coach would smell after the team dumped a cooler of pickle juice on him when they won the big game. I hope someone brings plain chips to go along with it.

I bet Baymax would encourage his patients to drink this. Sure, he's kind of the spokesperson for the drink and has a little weight in the game, but between his dedication to well-being and his cigar smoking, ill-fitting suit wearing, slicked back hair having, bad breath having manager, they're pushing this product hard.

Say you break your arm and Baymax is around. He would ask you what your pain is on a scale of frown to smile. Then he would offer you a sucker. If you said that you were allergic to suckers, he might analyze you and say that you did not indicate that you were lying since no one is allergic to suckers. Then he would offer you some of his custom branded coconut water in which to refresh you. He would endorse this because it's just coconut water and strawberry flavor. Bare essentials. He's a bot of health. He's not going to give you something that would hurt you. That's not very health bot of him.

What a fancy drink this is. Everything is unpronounceable which means science. One of this drink's primary ingredient is mushrooms. Mushrooms! You would think that it tastes like an old shoe or something but you would be wrong. You would be dead wrong. Additionally, there are carrots and beets which would make it taste like the canning area in your grandma's basement.

This is surprisingly good. It's sweet enough from the apple juice and lemon juice concentrate that you can get away with some sneaky vegetables. You can trick me all you want if this is the outcome.

This tastes like there are some sneaky ingredients but somehow knowing what they are make it better. You're drinking mushrooms, dude and you like it. You are drinking something they put on pizza and having the time of your life. You should be shaking their hands in wonderment. Scientists and wizards. Same thing, right?

As I sit here and drink this I find myself thinking “Well this is underwhelming.” The thing is, I am wrong, dead wrong. You see I forget that most humans don't have two growlers in their fridge at all times that are used to hold unsweetened iced tea that they make. I like fruity teas and passionfruit may be the fruitiest of all fruits, so this tastes a lot like tea I have made and drank in mass quantities. This is actually a wonderful tea, but since it's in my normal wheelhouse it seems almost boring to me. To anyone else this would more than likely be great. Well, unless they don't like unsweetened tea. If that's the case, what are they doing drinking this, when they know they won't like it? This is green tea with a nice hint of passionfruit in it. The tea runs the game while the fruit is just there for backup. It's simple, it's perfect, and now that my can is empty I find myself wanting about 5 more of them. So much for underwhelming.